Why you shouldn't see a Seltzer and Friedberg movie

1. They are the worst reviewed movies in history. "Date Movie," "Epic Movie," "Meet the Spartans," and "Disaster Movie" all scored 6% or less on RottenTomatoes.com. That should be the first red flag.

2. They treat us like idiots. "I AM IRON MAN!" "I AM BATMAN!" Really?! I would have never guessed. Oh, wait, there's this. "I'M KUNG FU PANDA!" Come on, everyone knows his real name by now (Po). Which takes me to point number 3.

3. THEY DON'T DO THE EFFING RESEARCH! How hard to they work? They're notorious for only watching the trailers the of the movies they are spoofing, not the movies themselves. This makes them look even stupider when their movie comes out.

4. Their movies don't age well. Does anybody remember Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez as a couple? No? Didn't think so. Or what about "I'm ******* Matt Damon?" Also, "Disaster Movie" parodied "The Love Guru" on the false hope that it was a hit. Instead, "The Love Guru," just like "Disaster Movie," was a huge flop, so the reference was lost on many people. Hell, I don't think many people remembered "The Love Guru" until the Razzie nominations came out.

5. What's a plot? All these movies are good for are pop culture references, crappy special effects, and elongated bodily function jokes. Is there a plot or any kind of character development? Nope.

6. Why are these guys in these movies? Why would talented actors like Alyson Hannigan, Fred Willard, David Carradine, Kal Penn, Anneliese van der Pol, and Ken Jeong fill in their free time with this rubbish? All those actors are capable of acting beyond crap like this.

7. Too soon. "Meet the Spartans" has a reference to the death of Anna Nicole Smith, and "Disaster Movie" has one for Heath Ledger. What's the over/under there will be a Michael Jackson reference in "Vampires Suck?"

8. Product placement galore. And these guys shouldn't even be able to use product placement. The budgets of their movies is so low, I don't think any company would want to invest money in having their product in a movie. Low budget comedy = likely flop.

Really, these guys are simply infuriating. With "Vampires Suck" coming out soon, I hope it bombs horribly. The sooner this movie dies, the sooner Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg get chased out of Hollywood. Let's make it happen.