WILF Wednesday Week 11

What's crackin', ladies and germs? This is Tom, alias InThe313. Now if you watched Monday's Stanley Cup game, you know two things. One, my heart was ripped out and tossed into a blender. Two, I'm too busy to do anything other than focus on tonight's potential Cup clinching Game 6 for the Red Wings. Well, you got the heart thing right. I may be getting set for tonight's big game, but I cannot ignore my duty to provide you with the most delicious women on Earth every Wednesday. So, not only is today possibly The Night 313 Goes Berserk at the End of Game 6, but it's also WILF Wednesday. Of course, as always, thanks a lot, theassman345xxxo. So what's going down for today? Today, we're heading south of the border again. And I mean WAY south of the border. No, I don't mean the southern most part of Mexico. I mean all the way down to South America. Today's hottie is an international sensation, and that's putting it mildly. The United World Chart has this Columbian mamasita as the sixth best-selling artist worldwide since 1998. She's been able to perform in her native tongue of Spanish, as well as Portuguese (much to the delight of her Brazilian fan base), and English (much to the delight of Anglos around the globe). A phenomenon outside the English-speaking world, she burst onto the scene here in 2001 with her smash hit "Whenever, Wherever". Yeah, her breasts may be small and humble so we don't confuse them with mountains, but they're still good. This song exposed us to he wide vocal range and her seductive belly dancing that made men want to take her, whenever, wherever. Following up that hit on her album "Laundry Service" was "Underneath Your Clothes" (I would love to see what's under her clothes) and "Objection (Tango)" (wouldn't mind a little tongue tango with her). She took some time off from the English music world, but caught our with a Spanish song, "La Tortura" featuring Alejandro Sanz, where, in the music video, she writhes around in paint. Soon after, she came back with another English album that spawned hits like "Don't Bother" (hopefully she'd never say that to me), a duet with Wyclef Jean titled "Hips Don't Lie" (but hers can damn well kill a man), and the exotic song with an equally sexually charged video called "Beautiful Liar" with Beyonce (seeing as I am with C-S-S-A, you can just imagine my thoughts of what happened backstage during the shoot). Her mixed Spanish, Italian, and Arab descent makes her just as exotic as her belly dancing. Speaking of which, she has the absolute best ass to belly dance with, and a few other things to do, too, if you catch my drift. She's erotic. She's exotic. She's hypnotizing. She's a two-time Grammy Award winner. She's Shakira.