TiVo Guide Week of March 9, 2009 *spoiler alert*

“Dancing With the Stars” The eighth-season opener begins with a new crop of celebrities. This season, a new feature in the early weeks is a dance-off between the bottom two couples facing elimination. Competitors include Denise Richards, Lawrence Taylor and Lil' Kim. Monday at 8 on ABC.

“Chuck” Sarah and Casey are assigned to hunt down an evildoer named Perseus, who is the mastermind behind a villainous organization's plans to build their own Intersect. Meanwhile, Chuck is holed up in a safety bunker with Agent Cole Barker (Jonathan Cake); Morgan tries to talk Anna out of moving in with him. Monday at 8 on NBC.

“How I Met Your Mother” Ted reunites with his college girlfriend (Laura Prepon), prompting Lily and Marshall to reveal how much they loathed the snooty woman. Monday at 8:30 on CBS.

“How the Earth Was Made” The geological history of New York City is explored, including the rocks below the surface of Manhattan and their origins. Also: the prehistoric connection with Africa. Tuesday at 9 on History.

“Trust Me” Financial problems mar both Mason and Conner, prompting each to seek employment elsewhere. But their mutual trust is tested when secrets about one another begin to surface. Elsewhere, Sarah is up to her hair in problems over a shampoo account. And an interoffice romance blooms for Tom. Tuesday at 10 on TNT.

“Chopping Block” Teams of aspiring restaurateurs open two competing eateries under the guidance of celebrity chef Marco Pierre White in the series premiere. The teams are challenged to design a menu, prepare the dishes on it and open their restaurants within 48 hours. Afterward, a food critic weighs in on the teams' performances prior to the first elimination. Wednesday at 8 on NBC.

“Lost” Sawyer and other island survivors perpetuate a lie to protect themselves from mistakes of the past. Wednesday at 9 on ABC.

“Ghost Hunters” The home of Betsy Ross is probed in Philadelphia as Season 5 begins; the team investigates a house in Glen Mills, Pa., that is over 300 years old. Wednesday at 9 on Sci Fi.

“Bones” A corpse discovered at the bottom of a gorge throws the lab into a panic when its bones begin to disintegrate, and Brennan and Booth must hurry to find the killer after they learn that the victim was a shady car salesman. Directed by David Boreanaz, who plays FBI agent Seeley Booth. Thursday at 8 on Fox.

“30 Rock” When "TGS" den mother Liz is called in to jury duty, the unmanaged cast and crew create havoc at 30 Rock. Meanwhile, Jack fails to heed the staffers when he grows obsessed with launching a new big-money product. Chris Parnell guest stars. Thursday at 9:31 on NBC.

“ER” As he awaits the delivery of his donor kidney, Carter gets a surprise visit from Dr. Benton (Eriq La Salle). Meanwhile, Neela and Sam are stranded at the airport with transplant organs; and Banfield connects with an abandoned child. Thursday at 10 on NBC.

“Wife Swap” In the 100th episode, two families from past episodes, voted on by viewers, return to swap again. A mom who believes she is psychic, speaks to the dead and controls the weather swaps families with a brood of storm-chasing science enthusiasts. The children of the two families face off at a kids' table meeting. Friday at 8 on ABC.

“The Game” Malik meets his father (Michael Boatman) for the first time. Meanwhile, Derwin and Janay rethink their relationship just as they are about to become parents, which isn't good news to Melanie. Friday at 8:30 on The CW.

“Battlestar Galactica” Daybreak---Part 1 Friday at 10 on Sci Fi.

“Naked Brothers Band” After returning from her worldly travels, Rosalina gets a visit from a French piano prodigy. This leads to her and Nat breaking up and her leaving the band. The guys then audition new bass players, but Nat isn't ready for anyone to replace Rosalina. Saturday at 8 on Nickelodeon.

“Relative Stranger” After the death of his father, a former football hero (Eriq La Salle) who abandoned his family returns home after six years. His mother (Cicely Tyson) tries to mediate the conflict stirred up by his return as he faces his wife (Michael Michele) and children, whom he left behind. Michael Beach, Dana Davis and Carlos McCullers II also star. Directed by Charles Burnett. Saturday at 9 on Hallmark.

“Will Ferrell: You’re Welcome America---A Final Night With George W. Bush” A live performance of the successful one-man Broadway show featuring Will Ferrell as President George W. Bush, who looks back on his childhood, college years, business career and two terms in the White House. Filmed at the Cort Theatre in New York City. Saturday at 9 on HBO.

“Hannah Montana” Hannah pretends to be the girlfriend of a fellow celebrity whom she can't stand in order to gain publicity; Jackson considers cheating on a test; Robby is tricked into doing business with Rico. Sunday at 7:30 on Disney.

“Au Pair 3 Adventure in Paradise” The Caldwell family go on vacation in Puerto Rico, but not much bonding occurs because they all have different agendas. After Oliver (Gregory Harrison) returns from an emergency business meeting, Jenny (Heidi Saban) tries to rally everyone together. Sunday at 8 on ABC Family.

“Brothers & Sisters” Kevin and Justin take Tommy on a much-needed mental-health vacation to clear his head about his monumental legal problems; Kitty goes to Nora's with her newborn son to get to know Ryan (Luke Grimes). Sunday at 10:01 on ABC.