RAW hosts: Who's next?

Figuring out the next guest of RAW has become my new favorite game. Let's see, so far, the hosting gig has gone to Dave Batista, Ted DiBiase, Seth Green, ZZ Top, and Shaquille O'Neal. Next week will be Jeremy Piven. So I'm trying to figure out who's next in line. Here's what I think:
8-10 in Calgary: Why not Calgary native and all around hottie Elisha Cuthbert?
8-17 in St. Louis: Albert Pujols if the Cardinals are off. If not, maybe Nelly.
8-24 in Las Vegas: All signs are pointing to The Godfather.
8-31 in Detroit: Me. Just kidding. More than likely Kid Rock.
9-7 in Rosemont: Can you imagine the draw if it's Michael Jordan?
9-14 in Toronto: It can't be anybody but Trish Stratus.
9-21 in North Little Rock: How about local guy Jerry Jones?
9-28 in Albany: A local legend, maybe. Say, Joey Styles?
This is challenging stuff. Anybody think they can do better, please let me know what you think.

TiVo Guide Week of July 27, 2009 *spoiler alert*

“The Bachelorette” Jillian's choice is down to Ed or Kiptyn in the Season 5 finale, taped on Hawaii's Big Island, where she has outdoor dates with the two, who are also grilled by her family. Then, following a last-minute confession, it's time for her to reveal her choice. Monday at 8 on ABC.

“Deadliest Catch” In the fifth-season finale, a storm results in multiple Maydays in the last day of the 2009 Opilio-crab season, and the Coast Guard is summoned to save four men before their ship becomes wrecked by jagged rocks. Tuesday at 9 on Discovery.

“The Philanthropist” Teddy becomes the victim of identity theft, and he and Dax head to San Diego to follow a paper trail to the culprit. Meanwhile, Olivia and Philip discover Maidstone Rist's investments have been caught in a Ponzi scheme and the foundation is now in trouble. Wednesday at 10 on NBC.

“So You Think You Can Dance” Two of the final six dancers are eliminated. Also: Sean Paul sings "So Fine," from his album "Imperial Blaze"; a performance by the dance troupe JabbaWockeeZ. Thursday at 9 on Fox.

“Good Morning America” Kelly Clarkson performs. Also: chef Guy Fieri; financial contributor Mellody Hobson. Friday at 7 on ABC.

“Being Human” George meets a fellow werewolf (Dean Lennox Kelly), and Mitchell makes the mistake of inviting him to stay with them. Saturday at 9 on BBC America.

“True Blood” Sookie desperately tries to contact Bill when her mission with Hugo hits a snag; Jason fears for his safety after running afoul of the Fellowship of the Sun's doctrine; Sam's contentious relationship with Maryann develops a new threat. Sunday at 9 on HBO.

Night of Champions results

Well, looks like all that sweating I did last night was for naught. Night of Champions was a rousing success for me as I boosted by record to 210-170 with a 6-2 performance. Big thanks to Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio, Kofi Kingston, Christian, Big Show & Chris Jericho, and Michelle McCool for giving me one of the best PPV performances I've ever had (Note: I didn't change my picks when it was revealed Show would be Jericho's partner, nor when Primo took Show's spot in the US Championship match). As for John Cena and Maryse, you kept me from getting a perfect record, so to Hell with you two! But, I have little to complain about. 6-2 is a very record for me.

Night of Champions card & picks

WWE Championship
* Randy Orton vs. Triple H vs. John Cena

World Heavyweight Championship:
* CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

Intercontinental Championship
* Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

United States Championship
* Kofi Kingston vs. Big Show vs. MVP vs. Carlito vs. Jack Swagger vs. The Miz in a 6-Pack Challenge

ECW Championship
* Tommy Dreamer vs. Christian

Unified Tag Team Championship
* Chris Jericho & A Mystery Partner vs. Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes

Divas Championship
* Maryse vs. Mickie James

Women's Championship
Michelle McCool vs. Melina

I am sweating bullets over this card. It might be one of the toughest to date. And with a record of 204-168, I don't want to fall back into a slump. However, I think (keyword is think) I've cracked the card and have the winners. I'm going with John Cena, Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio, Kofi Kingston, Christian, Chris Jericho & his partner, Maryse, and Michelle McCool (note: I've got Chris Jericho & his partner winning tonight, regardless of the who the mystery partner is). Wish me luck!

Well, thank you very much, YouTube!

Guess what, guys? theassman345xxxo has had his YouTube account suspended. What the crap? Question: How many YouTube flaggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: I stopped keeping track after 10. Niall's (his real name) videos were harmless tributes to the hottest, most talented female celebrities with amazing booties. No harm in making those types of videos, right? Mainly, this guy gets flack from the fans of the women in these videos. HELLO! Don't you think these women might actually be PROUD of their asses? Let's face it, the women in these videos have worked hard to get where they are today, and having a desireable body image is a helpful step towards getting there. Niall, I know you've seen this blog before to look at your videos (not that there's anything wrong with that, I would, too, if I could ever figure out Windows Movie Maker). Please, Niall, comment on this post to let me know what's going on, if you're done for good with YouTube or you'll try again. And please let me know ASAP. In case this is the end, though, thanks for the bootylicious memories.

TiVo Guide Week of July 20, 2009 *spoiler alert*

“The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All” Eliminated bachelors dish about Jillian and each other, and Jillian dishes about them as she looks back over the competition. Also: Q&A sessions for Jillian and several of the bachelors, profiles of the two finalists and a preview of the season finale. Monday at 8 on ABC.

“Hell’s Kitchen” Sixteen new contestants get a crack at culinary stardom---and a shot at a head chef's job in the Canadian resort town of Whistler, B.C., a 2010 Winter Olympics event site. In the Season 6 opener, the red and blue teams prepare their signature dishes, but in a departure from past seasons this is now a team effort. Then it's on to the first dinner service (predictably a disaster) before the first chef is eliminated and an old friend returns. The second dinner service is even more disastrous. Tuesday at 8 on Fox.

“Leverage” Nate's mates scheme against a crooked fight promoter. But their mark is on to the sting, forcing Eliot to enter the ring. Mixed-martial-arts fighters Ed Herman and Matt Lindland guest star. Wednesday at 9 on TNT.

“Southern Belles: Louisville” In the first-season finale, Emily breaks the news to her parents that she's moving to Las Vegas, and the gals throw her a farewell party. Elsewhere, Kellie gives Jeff an answer about Chicago; Hadley makes a decision about Russ; Shea and Jeff go shopping for a house; and Julie heads back to the runway. Thursday at 10 on SoapNet.

“Malibu Shark Attack” A tsunami brings goblin sharks to Malibu, Cal., after a massive wave cuts lifeguards and construction workers off from dry land. Peta Wilson, Warren Christie, Chelan Simmons. Saturday at 9 on Syfy.

“True Blood” Sookie and Hugo, Isabel's human beau, set off on a risky mission to find the missing Godric; Bill encounters a face from his past in Dallas; Hoyt is still smitten with Jessica; Andy has questions for Lafayette about his recent disappearance; Jason faces a new series of tests at the Light of Day camp; Tara and Eggs take a road trip. Sunday at 9 on HBO.

2008's Biggest Blockbusters

Alright, guys, it took a while because a certain movie took forever and a day to wrap up its time in American and Canadian movie theaters, but behold, the highest-grossing movies of 2008 are here. All movies were originally released to the public in 2008, and their numbers are not adjusted for inflation.

30. "You Don't Mess with the Zohan" $100M
29. "Step Brothers" $100M
28. "Eagle Eye" $101M
27. "Journey to the Center of the Earth" $102M
26. "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor" $102M
25. "Bedtime Stories" $110M
24. "Tropic Thunder" $110M
23. "Bolt" $114M
22. "Four Christmases" $120M
21. "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" $127M
20. "Get Smart" $130M
19. "Wanted" $134M
18. "The Incredible Hulk" $135M
17. "Slumdog Millionaire" $141M
16. "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian" $142M
15. "Marley & Me" $143M
14. "Mamma Mia!" $144M
13. "Taken" $145M
12. "Gran Torino" $148M
11. "Sex and the City" $153M
10. "Horton Hears A Who!" $155M
9. "Quantum of Solace" $168M
8. "Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa" $180M
7. "Twilight" $191M
6. "Kung Fu Panda" $215M
5. "WALL-E" $224M
4. "Hancock" $228M
3. "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" $317M
2. "Iron Man" $318M
1. "The Dark Knight" $533M

TiVo guide Week of July 13, 2009 *spoiler alert*

“The Closer” The team investigates the slaying of a misogynistic ladies' man, a popular Internet figure who was on the cusp of launching a male-centric TV show. Meanwhile, Pope keeps a close eye on Brenda's squad by rotating in as a team member. Adam Arkin directed the episode. Monday at 9 on TNT.

“The Cleaner” A talent manager asks William to help his drug-addicted client, and William discovers that the star's parents are also in need of an intervention. Shirley Jones guest stars. Tuesday at 10 on A&E.

“So You Think You Can Dance” The Top 10 dancers perform. Wednesday at 8 on Fox.

“J.K. Rowling: A Year in the Life” Elizabeth Vargas profiles the author of the Harry Potter novels. Thursday at 8 on ABC.

“Wizards on Deck With Hannah Montana” Justin, Alex and Max Russo join a teen cruise on the S.S. Tipton, and Hannah Montana comes aboard to give a concert. Meanwhile, Cody Martin tries to secure tickets to the event to impress a girl; Justin pretends he is a doctor to get a date with London Tipton. Friday at 8 on Disney.

“Dirty Sexy Money” While the Darlings are away celebrating Thanksgiving, Clark the chauffeur must deal with a persistent and seductive reporter (Rena Sofer), so he gives her his version of several Darling family happenings. Elsewhere, Letitia hosts a fashion show at the mansion, and one of the attendees (Donna Mills) has some unkind words for her. Saturday at 10 on ABC.

“ESPY Awards” Top sports performers and performances are honored at the 17th annual event, taped July 15 in Los Angeles. Samuel L. Jackson hosts. Special honorees include Nelson Mandela, Northern State basketball coach Don Meyer and swimmer Dara Torres. Michael Phelps is nominated in four categories, while Tiger Woods looks to add his record 21 ESPYs. Sunday at 9 on ESPN.

A salute to the opressed bloggers

I have to give big ups to anybody in Iran who has video taped the civil unrest in that country and posted the recordings on YouTube, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, etc. What we are dealing with are opressed people who are tired of being under the thumb of a tyrannical leader, er, dictator in Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Not that I blame them. Ahmadinejad wants Israel wiped off the map, believes the September 11, 2001 attacks were not orchestrated by al-Qaeda, says there are no gays in Iran, does not believe in the Holocaust, and snubbed all warnings from the United Nations Security Council to stop building weapons of mass destruction. That is what I call being a sadistically evil and a few fries short of a Happy Meal at once. Frankly, I'd feel safer with Mir-Hossein Mousavi. I don't know much about the man, but unlike Ahmadinejad, he is willing to speak with Barack Obama and acknowledges the Holocaust. But I'm getting off-track. What this widespread unrest is showing is that Iran wants change. If there wasn't so much protesting about the election results, I wouldn't be inclined to believe Mousavi actually won and Ahmadinejad rigged the election. But with the violence across the country, that's what I believe. And the oppression of the media in Iran is becoming a joke now that people have taken to the Internet to voice their displeasure (ironically, Ahmadinejad has his own blog, but I'm in no rush to check it out). Iran, you deserve much better. You are under the rule of a corrupt president who will do anything to hold power. Keep going to the streets and telling the world who you really voted for. I wouldn't be surprised if the United Nations or some other organization hears your pleas and sets things right. Keep blogging. Good night, and good luck, Tehran.

TiVo Guide Week of July 6, 2009 *spoiler alert*

“The Bachelorette” Jillian and her final four head to Spain for flamenco in Madrid, a picnic in Seville and a Barcelona bike ride (plus overnight dates in fantasy suites, at her discretion). At the rose ceremony, one guy is sent home. For the other three, Hawaii is next. Monday at 8 on ABC.

“NYC Prep” Winter break gets hot when PC basks in the fun and sun of Cancun, while Jessie journeys to Florida---but her mind is preoccupied with thoughts of PC. Elsewhere, it's the big chill for Camille and Taylor, who remain in New York City. Then there's Kelli, who heads to the Hamptons to mourn a death. Tuesday at 9 on Bravo.

“Top Chef Masters” Chief chefs Anita Lo, Douglas Rodriguez, John Besh and Mark Peel are all tied up. That is, they must cook an egg with one hand tied behind their back. Later, they conjure up culinary magic to impress notable guests, including actor Neil Patrick Harris. Wednesday at 10 on Bravo.

“Big Brother 11” In the Season 11 opener, the 12 houseguests are introduced and enter the compound for the first time. They are divided into one of four cliques (popular, athletes, brainiacs, off-beats) to compete in their first challenge. Julie Chen is the host. Thursday at 8 on CBS.

“Harper’s Island” John Wakefield continues his murderous rampage on the island, as the survivors attempt to find and kill him before he wipes them all out. Saturday at 9 on CBS.

“True Blood” Bill, Sookie and Jessica fly to Dallas on a mission for Eric to find a missing vampire; Maryann corrals the locals for Tara's birthday party; Jason's new assignment at the Light of Day Institute inspires even more jealousy among his rivals; Lafayette receives an unlikely remedy for his injured leg; Sam finds a reason to delay his departure. Sunday at 9 on HBO.

WILF Wednesday tries again and again and...

Since I've brought you this woman more times than I can remember, and because her hotness exceeds a South-Central L.A. summer, I'll just cut right to the chase. She is Megan Fox.