Tom's 2006 wrap-up

Favorite songs: Chris Brown "Run It!" Pussycat Dolls "Stickwitu" Beyonce featuring Slim Thug "Check on It" Ne-Yo "So Sick" Mary J. Blige "Be Without You" Sean Paul "Temperature" Rihanna "SOS" Shakira "Hips Don't Lie" Nelly Furtado featuring Timbaland "Promiscuous" The Pussycat Dolls featuring Snoop Dogg "Buttons" Justin Timberlake "SexyBack" Nickelback "Far Away" Hinder "Lips of an Angel" Justin Timberlake featuring T.I. "My Love" Beyonce "Irreplaceable"

Favorite new toy: Let's see. Gotta go with the new iPod speaker system. Kick ass bass with those.

Favorite word or phrase: "The '70s had the Hustle, the '80s, the Moonwalk. We have the Faux Lesbian Dance." -Kristen Bell. Honorable mention: "I arrive in America's airport with clothings, U.S. dollars and a jar of gypsy tears to protect me from AIDS." -Sacha Baron Cohen. "Is it just me, or does (my uncle) Jim look like Bob Saget with Tom Selleck's moustache on steroids?" -Me. "Ding-dong, Saddam is gone!" -My Lebanese friend Ali. "So let me get this straight. The computer just magically typed these sexual IMs and sent them to fourteen-year-old girls?" -Chris Hansen to a creep using the denial method on "How to Catch a Predator."

Best James Brown song: "I Feel Good."

Best movie moment of the year: The airport scene in "The Da Vinci Code." Damn, those were some dumb cops.

Saddest celebritity breakup: Vaughniston. That is one man I'd let Jen sleep with.

Mancrush of the year: I have never contemplated who I would have a mancrush on and this question won't make me.

Best sex I've had all year: I plead da fif.

Obsession of the year: Nelly Furtado. DAAAAAAAAAAAAYUM! What took ya so long, girl?

Biggest disappointment of the year: That pedophile uncle still hasn't been arrested. I know it depends on my sister and cousin because they have to press the charges and I respect the fact they may not be ready to face him in court, but I'd like to see him put away before he can hurt anymore kids.

Best TV moment of the year: "IN THE AIR, LEFTFIELD! THE TIGERS MARCH TO THE WORLD SERIES! THEY CELEBRATED 22 YEARS AGO TODAY AS WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS AND ON OCTOBER THE FOURTEENTH, 2006, THE DETROIT TIGERS ARE AMERICAN LEAGUE CHAMPIONS!"

Trend I'm most sick of: People bitching about how W. supposedly screwed up.

Rock star moment of the year: Not exactly rock star, maybe soft rock star. On a particularly empty day at the pool near closing time, I got the other lifeguards to do the Wave.

Britney, Paris or Lindsay: Love all three of them, but Britney's my wife, so I gotta go with her. ;)

Biggest time-suck: Reminding the idiots at the pool of the rules.

Favorite sign of the Apocalypse: Being an award-winning author of erotic fiction.

Most expensive purchase: $300+ dollars in college books

Ambition in 2007: Head over to Oakland University and finally tap some ass. And of course, stay healthy, be with my family and friends as much as possible and keep writing.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Red Hot Chili Peppers "Dani California"