TiVo Guide Week of September 29, 2008 *spoiler alert*

"Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" Cameron delves into her past after a software glitch lands her in a halfway house with no memory of her identity. Elsewhere, Agent Ellison probes Catherine Weaver's background on the heels of a meeting between the lawman and the Zeira Corp. CEO. Monday at 8 on Fox.

"Chuck" In the Season 2 premiere, Chuck mixes it up with a formidable operative (Michael Clarke Duncan) out to obtain a device that would potentially give rise to a new Intersect. Later, believing his spy career is behind him, Chuck asks Sarah out on a true first date. At Buy More, Morgan uses quirky means to hire a new assistant manager. Monday at 8 on NBC.

"Life" In the second-season premiere, Crews and Reese track a serial killer who's placing victims into numbered trunks around the city. Elsewhere, Ted and Crews look for the surviving daughter of the murdered family from Crews' past. Monday at 10 on NBC.

"Dancing With the Stars" The second-round results show. Tuesday at 9 on ABC.

"Privileged" Megan's modesty comes to the fore when she's surprised to find an adult DVD in Rose's book bag, and Rose reveals she is not a virgin. Later, an insecure Megan fears Jacob (David Giuntoli) is losing interest in her; and Sage asks Lily to join her at a restaurant so she can learn more about Megan. Tuesday at 9 on The CW.

"Fringe" The only thing found intact after an explosion rocks a New York City construction project is a mysterious cylinder, so Broyles enlists the trio of Olivia, Dr. Bishop and Peter to investigate the significance of the object, which seems to be related to a string of inexplicable behavior and events. Tuesday at 9:01 on Fox.

"Pushing Daisies" In the second-season premiere, Chuck goes undercover to investigate the death of a spokesmodel (Autumn Reeser) for a honey-based cosmetics company. Meanwhile, Lily takes Olive to a nunnery to keep her from telling secrets. Wednesday at 8 on ABC.

"Bones" When the mangled corpse of an office manager is found in an elevator shaft, Brennan and Booth probe the complexities of the company's politics to find out if any of the numerous grudges borne by her former coworkers shed light on her tragic death. Meanwhile, Hodgins and Angela have a long-delayed discussion about their breakup. Wednesday at 8 on Fox.

"Dirty Sexy Money" In the second-season premiere, Tripp and Letitia throw Nick an elaborate birthday party on a yacht. Meanwhile, Brian reunites with his son, and Jeremy tells Nola Lyons (Lucy Liu) about his feelings for Lisa. Later, tragedy strikes when a death occurs, followed by an arrest. Wednesday at 10:01 on ABC.

"Survivor: Gabon---Earth's Last Eden" Tension builds in one tribe when food starts to run low because of some teammates overeating. In the reward challenge, one female player is roughed up so badly that it could cause her to be cast off. The third person is voted out at tribal council. Thursday at 8 on CBS.

"My Name Is Earl" There's bubble trouble when Joy is placed in a plastic bubble because of her flesh-eating toe infection. As Earl assumes Joy's role in life (gossiping and shopping are in order), he discovers he must help her outcast children (Louis T. Moyle, Trey Carlisle), who apparently suffer from a social disorder. Thursday at 8 on NBC.

"Vice Presidential Debate" Vice-presidential candidates Joe Biden (D) and Sarah Palin (R) debate at Washington University in St. Louis. Gwen Ifill moderates. Thursday at 8:50 on Fox News.

"Vice Presidential Debate" Vice-presidential candidates Joe Biden (D) and Sarah Palin (R) debate at Washington University in St. Louis. Gwen Ifill moderates. Thursday at 9 on ABC.

"Vice Presidential Debate" Vice-presidential candidates Joe Biden (D) and Sarah Palin (R) debate at Washington University in St. Louis. Gwen Ifill moderates. Thursday at 9 on CBS.

"Vice Presidential Debate" Vice-presidential candidates Joe Biden (D) and Sarah Palin (R) debate at Washington University in St. Louis. Gwen Ifill moderates. Thursday at 9 on Fox.

"Vice Presidential Debate" Vice-presidential candidates Joe Biden (D) and Sarah Palin (R) debate at Washington University in St. Louis. Gwen Ifill moderates. Thursday at 9 on NBC.

"Vice Presidential Debate" Vice-presidential candidates Joe Biden (D) and Sarah Palin (R) debate at Washington University in St. Louis. Gwen Ifill moderates. Thursday at 9 on PBS.

"Vice Presidential Debate" Vice-presidential candidates Joe Biden (D) and Sarah Palin (R) debate at Washington University in St. Louis. Gwen Ifill moderates. Thursday at 9 on CNBC.

"Vice Presidential Debate" Vice-presidential candidates Joe Biden (D) and Sarah Palin (R) debate at Washington University in St. Louis. Gwen Ifill moderates. Thursday at 9 on CNN.

"Vice Presidential Debate" Vice-presidential candidates Joe Biden (D) and Sarah Palin (R) debate at Washington University in St. Louis. Gwen Ifill moderates. Thursday at 9 on MSNBC.

"Ghost Whisperer" In the Season 4 opener, Melinda meets psychology professor Eli James (Jamie Kennedy) after Jim rescues him from a fire at the university. Melinda soon discovers Eli's near-death experience has given him the ability to hear ghosts but not see them. Fiona: Alona Tal. Friday at 8 on CBS.

"Supernanny" In the fifth-season premiere, Jo travels to New Hampshire to help a couple who are in danger of losing complete control over their four kids, including a 14-year-old bully-in-training, and she suggests a snowshoe expedition for the whole family. Friday at 9 on ABC.

"The Ex List" A marriage-minded woman searches for her Prince Charming among her many ex-boyfriends. In the pilot episode, Bella (Elizabeth Reaser) reconnects with a sensitive rocker after a psychic tells her she has already dated the man she is destined to marry. Eric Balfour guest stars. Friday at 9 on CBS.

"Beverly Hills, 90210" David takes Val, Steve and Clare to Las Vegas, where a fool and his money... Back home, Brandon helps a damsel who's in more distress than she knows; Kelly spends a night at Mark's; Steve puts his name on Brandon's old term paper. Linda: Karen Roe. Ray: Jamie Walters. Saturday at 9 on SoapNet.

"Busted Live" Rapper Tony Yayo hosts this real-time event that includes cameras accompanying law-enforcement officers on the job. Ryan Belleville and Sarah Karges report from Calvert County, Md., and Akron, Ohio. Saturday at 7 on MTV.

"MADtv" Political sketches and parodies are highlighted. Featured: Nicole Parker as Sarah Palin; Keegan-Michael Key as Barack Obama; Erica Ash as Michelle Obama; Bobby Lee as John McCain; and Arden Myrin as Cindy McCain. Saturday at 11 on Fox.

"Simpsons" Bart wants a cell phone in the worst way, and that's just how he gets one. Meanwhile, a GPS mix-up sends Lisa on a dream trip---to Machu Picchu, Peru, with Homer, Marge and Maggie. The guest cast includes Denis Leary, who provides his own voice. Sunday at 8 on Fox.

"The Unit" The team boards a commercial flight in order to protect a scientist they believe is a target to be assassinated by terrorists who recently led a plot to kill the U.S. president. Meanwhile, the team wives adjust to their new locations and identities. Sunday at 10 on CBS.

"Californication" Hank meets and befriends a legendary record producer while serving time in jail and entertains the notion of writing the man's biography; Charlie is fired when his duplicitous former assistant bad-mouths him to the president of the agency. Sunday at 10 on Showtime.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Wisconsin vs. Michigan game

The Hero: Michigan's defense. Faced with five offensive/special teams turnovers in the first half, it held Wisconsin to field goals four times. The Wolverines allowed only one touchdown in the second half, and that was after U-M scored 27 points to take the lead.
The Goat: Wisconsin's defense. A group that suffocated Michigan for 2 1/2 quarters completely imploded when it mattered, allowing three extended U-M touchdown drives.

From the Michigan State vs. Indiana game

The Hero: Brett Swenson. As the rest of MSU's players were up and down during the game, sometimes making big plays while giving up others, Swenson's leg was automatic. He made all four of his field-goal attempts, including three from at least 45 yards.
The Goat: Cody Faulkner. The poor guy probably had a decent game otherwise, but he was the player called for holding on what would have been a 97-yard touchdown play for the Hoosiers in the third quarter. Instead, MSU ended up with a safety.

WILF Wednesday Week 27

Hey, everybody. Tom here again, and welcome back to WILF Wednesday. As per usual, I need to say kudos to theassman345xxxo for making this wonderful videos. And, I really *HONK*ing hate saying this, but, while this video is not pornographic, viewer discretion is advised. Now, I try to give as much detail of these women as possible. The problem this week is that I know next to nothing of this hottie. It's not that she's not famous. It's that she's not famous in the United States. And that is a problem that needs to be rectified soon. Here's what I do know about her. She's a mainstay in the British tabloids. She's posed many times for men's magazines. Her breasts come in at a natural 38E, give or take (I think Keanu Reeves said it best when he said, "Whoa!"). Basically, that's all I can tell you about this woman. Let's just hope the video can fill in the gray areas. Man, oh, man, do I want to maul those huge breasts and her cushiony ass. That would feel so good. She's hot. She's British. She's naturally busty. She needs to be a fixture State side. She's Keeley Hazell.

TiVo Guide Week of September 22, 2008 *spoiler alert*

"Dancing With the Stars" The seventh-season opener begins with 13 celebrities who each perform one of two routines they've prepared. Monday at 8 on ABC.

"How I Met Your Mother" In the fourth-season opener, Stella gives Ted an answer to his proposal, and Barney realizes he's in love with Robin. Stella: Sarah Chalke. Mark Johnson: Kyles Archer. Sexy Blonde: Nicole Taylor. Angela: Dana de Celis. Maxine: Annie Abrams. Monday at 8:30 on CBS.

"Heroes" Nathan's shooter is revealed in the Season 3 opener. Elsewhere, Sylar visits Claire; Hiro and Ando guard a dangerous family secret and fret over the bleak future involving a dubious woman (Brea Grant); and Suresh makes an important breakthrough. Monday at 9 on NBC.

"Biggest Loser: Families" Rocco DiSpirito offers tips for preparing healthy and affordable meals. Elsewhere, the players bid on the percentage of weight they think they'll lose; and the challenge winners get to phone home. Tuesday at 8 on NBC.

"The Mentalist" The murders of a pro golfer's wife and her doctor are investigated in the opener of a series about a former fake psychic (Simon Baker) who now uses his gift for observing details to assist a California crime unit. Michael Moradi: Shaun Toub. Alison Randolph: Mary A. Stiefvater. Tuesday at 9 on CBS.

"Without a Trace" In the seventh-season opener, the team searches for a man whose daughter vanished years earlier. Meanwhile, Jack adjusts to a new boss (Steven Weber). Clare Bryson: Linda Hunt. Ryan McAvoy: Kevin Rahm. Eli Simmons: Nick Spano. Tuesday at 10 on CBS.

"David Blaine: Dive of Death" For three days and nights, David Blaine attempts to hang upside down (and walk) on a wire five stories in the air with no safety net, using electromagnetic boots. At the show's conclusion, he plans to exit from his perch in dramatic fashion. Wednesday at 9 on ABC.

"CSI: NY" The fifth season begins with Mac being taken hostage by a bank robber and then waking up in a submerged car with no memory of how he got there. The investigation seeks to unravel the truth behind the bizarre heist and the mysterious man at its center. Wednesday at 10 on CBS.

"Lipstick Jungle" Nico considers telling Charles about her affair in the second-season premiere. Meanwhile, Wendy's mother (Mary Tyler Moore) visits the family just as Wendy decides to spend more time at home; and Victory hires a publicist (Rosie Perez) and dodges Joe's attempts to win her back. Wednesday at 10 on NBC.

"Ugly Betty" In the third-season premiere, Betty is finally ready to make a life-altering decision after fielding proposals from Gio and Henry. Meanwhile, Ignacio gets a new job at a fast-food restaurant, and Daniel deals with the fallout of Wilhelmina's power play. Lindsay Lohan guest stars as Kimberly, Betty's high-school nemesis. Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa appear as themselves. Thursday at 8 on ABC.

"The Office" Here's the skinny on the Season 5 opener: The Dunder Mifflin staffers participate in a weight-loss program, only to become overly consumed with shedding pounds. Elsewhere, Michael works on building a friendship (and more?) with the new HR worker (Amy Ryan). And Pam attends art school in New York, leaving behind a pining Jim. Thursday at 9 on NBC.

"ER" The 15th and final season opens with the staff dealing with the aftermath of the ambulance explosion. Morris and Neela have trouble handling Pratt's injuries, while Abby makes a mistake diagnosing a mother and daughter injured in the blast. Thursday at 10 on NBC.

"Gone Country" The Season 2 contestants perform their songs for an audience of 4000 people before a winner is chosen. Friday at 8 on CMT.

"Presidential Debate" John McCain (R) and Barack Obama (D) debate foreign policy and matters of national security at the first 2008 presidential debate, from the University of Mississippi in Oxford, Miss. Jim Lehrer moderates. Friday at 8:50 on Fox News.

"Presidential Debate" John McCain (R) and Barack Obama (D) meet in the first 2008 presidential debate, from the University of Mississippi in Oxford, Miss. Jim Lehrer moderates. Friday at 9 on ABC.

"Presidential Debate" John McCain (R) and Barack Obama (D) meet in the first 2008 presidential debate, from the University of Mississippi in Oxford, Miss. Jim Lehrer moderates. Friday at 9 on CBS.

"Presidential Debate" John McCain (R) and Barack Obama (D) meet in the first 2008 presidential debate, from the University of Mississippi in Oxford, Miss. Jim Lehrer moderates. Friday at 9 on Fox.

"Presidential Debate" John McCain (R) and Barack Obama (D) meet in the first 2008 presidential debate, from the University of Mississippi in Oxford, Miss. Jim Lehrer moderates. Friday at 9 on NBC.

"Presidential Debate" John McCain (R) and Barack Obama (D) meet in the first 2008 presidential debate, from the University of Mississippi in Oxford, Miss. Jim Lehrer moderates. Friday at 9 on PBS.

"Presidential Debate" John McCain (R) and Barack Obama (D) meet in the first 2008 presidential debate, from the University of Mississippi in Oxford, Miss. Jim Lehrer moderates. Friday at 9 on CNN.

"Presidental Debate" John McCain (R) and Barack Obama (D) meet in the first 2008 presidential debate, from the University of Mississippi in Oxford, Miss. Jim Lehrer moderates. Friday at 9 on MSNBC.

"Real Time With Bill Maher" Program description not available. Friday at 11 on HBO.

"Dirty Sexy Money" Lawyer Nick George (Peter Krause) reluctantly agrees to represent Tripp Darling (Donald Sutherland) and his family after the death of Nick's father. Shortly thereafter, Nick becomes embroiled in the clan's bizarre problems. Letitia Darling: Jill Clayburgh. Patrick Darling: William Baldwin. Saturday at 9 on SoapNet.

"Ace of Cakes" Duff and Geof head to Minnesota to build a record-breaking cupcake for a charity bake sale. Also: a cake replica of the Charm City bakery is created. Saturday at 9 on Food.

"Trial by Fire" A sexist fire company blames a female firefighter (Brooke Burns) for the loss of a comrade. With her abilities in question, she sets out to join an elite squad of smoke jumpers and prove that her skills are up to snuff. Rick Ravanello, Rex Linn. Saturday at 9 on Lifetime.

"Desperate Housewives" It's five years later as the fifth-season opens, and Susan is trying to hide her relationship with a new man. Meanwhile, Gaby questions her maternal skills; Bree is about to publish a cookbook as her business partner, Katherine, bristles; Lynette catches her teenage twins (Charlie and Max Carver) spearheading illegal activities; and Edie returns to Wisteria Lane with a new man in tow. Sunday at 9 on ABC.

"Dexter" Season 3 opens with Dexter tracking a killer who got away with murdering two college women, and winding up in a life-or-death struggle with a stranger who is in the wrong place at the wrong time. Debra investigates a high-profile homicide and gets pressured by an Internal Affairs officer, who wants her to snitch on a fellow cop; Angel gets good news about his career; Rita startles Dexter with some news of her own. Sunday at 9 on Showtime.

"Brothers & Sisters" In the third-season premiere, the Walker children try to make contact with their long-lost sibling without Nora's knowledge. Meanwhile, Kitty and Robert proceed with their plans to adopt, Rebecca and Justin do their best to keep their relationship a secret and Kevin faces a sudden threat to his career. Sunday at 10:01 on ABC.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Lions vs. 49ers game

The Hero: Frank Gore. Rushed for 130 yards and a touchdown, caught four passes for 32 yards.
The Goat: Jon Kitna. His line and receivers share the blame, but the offense generated so little.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the second day of the Ryder Cup

The Hero: Hunter Mahan. Rookie halved both his matches Saturday, and has won three points for the U.S. in his four matches.
The Goat: Robert Karlsson. 6-foot-5 Swede netted only a half-point in his two matches, and missed an eagle putt on No. 18 that would have won Europe a full point in the afternoon.

From the Notre Dame vs. Michigan State game

The Hero: Javon Ringer. MSU's star running back gained 201 yards on 39 carries and scored the final TD of the game to secure the victory.
The Goat: Jimmy Clausen. Notre Dame's quaterback was 24-for-41 for 242 yards, but threw two interceptions and was sacked three times.

WILF Wednesday Week 26

Hey guys. 313 here. Yeah, I know, I'm late again. Sorry. Anyways, first things first. Cudos to theassman345xxxo for making this lovely videos. Also, though is not pornographic, viewer discretion is advised. God, that such a pain in the ass to say. Anyways, I might as well give you the cliffnotes version of this young lady. She does just about everything. Movies. Check. TV. Check. Music. Check. Own product lines. Check. God, it does seem like it was only yesterday she was the hottest piece of jailbait on "Lizzie Maguire." Well, I think I kind of gave it away now. Still, if you don't sink your teeth into that juicy ass of hers, seriously, go get some help right effing now. She's hot. She's multi-talented. She's a multi-millionaire. She's a role model who likes she needs to be violated in the worst possible way. She's Hilary Duff. Hmmmmmmmm, Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuff, aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

TiVo guide Week of September 15, 2008 *spoiler alert*

"One Tree Hill" A death rocks Tree Hill, bringing Lucas home from Las Vegas and presenting Nathan and Haley with the difficult task of helping Jamie cope with the loss of someone close to all of them. Monday at 9 on The CW.

"Weeds" The DEA brings Nancy in for questioning and she must come up with an explanation for Esteban (Demian Bichir); Celia ventures far into Mexico for a reunion with her estranged daughter (Hayley Hudson); Silas has an encounter with Lisa's former husband; Doug realizes there are plenty of reasons for him to keep living. Monday at 10 on Showtime.

"90210" At Kelly's request, Brenda replaces Tabitha as director of the school musical, but the two friends soon find themselves at odds over Kelly's relationship with Ryan. At the Wilsons, money concerns prompt Dixon to get a job at the Peach Pit, but Annie is more worried about her disappointing date with Ethan. Elsewhere, Naomi confronts some difficult facts about her home life. Nat: Joe E. Tata. Tuesday at 8 on The CW.

"House" As the fifth season opens, Wilson returns from an extended leave following Amber's death and announces he's leaving Princeton-Plainsboro. House thinks it's a terrible idea, and he isn't shy about saying so. Wilson's announcement also distracts him from the case at hand, that of the workaholic 37-year-old assistant to the leader of a major feminist organization who collapses during a business meeting. Thirteen takes a special interest in the case, and House questions her reasons for doing so. Tuesday at 8 on Fox.

"Biggest Loser: Families" Season 6 kicks off with a family theme: Teams of husbands and wives square off against parents and their adult children. The contestants are surprised at home by trainers Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels, and then face their first challenge: climbing a hill in extreme heat. Tuesday at 8 on NBC.

"America's Next Top Model" The ladies receive makeovers and go to Malibu, Cal., for a swimsuit shoot with model and designer Susan Holmes. Later, the judges eliminate one contestant. Wednesday at 8 on The CW.

"Bones" The discovery---not far from the Jeffersonian---of the mutilated body of a veterinarian leads to an investigation that uncovers the deceased's gambling addiction and possible ties to an illegal dogfighting enterprise. "Dog Whisperer" Cesar Millan guest stars. Wednesday at 8 on Fox.

"Top Design" The contestants design window displays inspired by "Project Runway" creations. Former "Runway" players Daniel Franco, Santino Rice, Jeffrey Sebelia, Sweet P and Andrae Gonzalo make appearances. Wednesday at 10 on Bravo.

"Smallville" In the eighth-season opener, the Justice League searches for Clark, but is stymied by the new CEO of Luthorcorp, Tess Mercer (Cassidy Freeman); and Chloe is held prisoner by a group who have discovered her powers, while Clark has been stripped of his by Jor-El. Thursday at 8 on The CW.

"It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" In the Season 4 premiere, Dee and Charlie eat some of Frank's stash of extraordinarily tasty meat and won't rest until they can get more. Meanwhile, Mac and Dennis take sport hunting to the next level. Cricket: Bruce Hornsby. Thursday at 10 on FX.

"Burn Notice" Michael poses as an alcoholic security guard to thwart a kidnapping plot with ties to a foreign oil company. Thursday at 10 on USA.

"America's Toughest Jobs" The players must work on a Texas oil rig, which finds them hauling pipes, changing bits and drilling in the mud. Friday at 8 on NBC.

"Outsiders Inn" A therapist and her patients---who are celebrity impersonators---take over the inn. Friday at 8:30 on CMT.

"Dog Whisperer" Cesar Millan reunites with more than 100 rehabilitated dogs from the series' first four seasons. Also: a surprise appearance by Lassie, Millan's childhood idol. Friday at 9 on National Geographic.

"Primeval" Another anomaly materializes as Cutter tries to solve the mystery of Claudia's disappearance; the team is summoned to deal with a shopping center's raptor problem. Saturday at 9 on BBC America.

"MADtv" Audrina Patridge ("The Hills") is the guest. Also: a roast of newlyweds Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi; a spoof of Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl"; and a new episode of "The Johnny Gan Show." Saturday at 11 on Fox.

"60th Primetime Emmy Awards" Reality mainstays Tom Bergeron, Heidi Klum, Howie Mandel, Jeff Probst and Ryan Seacrest host the 60th annual Emmys. They're also nominees in a new category: Outstanding Reality/Competition Host. Highlights include clips from classic moments and recitations of notable lines from TV shows. Presenters include Marcia Cross; Dana Delany; Teri Hatcher; Felicity Huffman; Eva Longoria Parker; Nicollette Sheridan; Hugh Laurie; Julia Louis-Dreyfus; Tina Fey; Conan O'Brien; Kate Walsh; and Amy Poehler. Sunday at 8 on ABC.

"Wizards of Waverly Place" Justin falls for a new girl who is a werewolf and turns him into one, too; Max starts a dog-walking business with a new friend. Sunday at 8:30 on Disney.

"Army Wives" Trevor receives a medal for his actions in Iraq; Pamela confronts her stalker; and Denise gets away to reflect on her marriage. Sunday at 10 on Lifetime.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Packers vs. Lions game

The Hero: Charles Woodson. Made two picks in the fourth quarter, returning one for a TD.
The Goat: Jon Kitna. Lions gave themselves a chance. He gave it right back.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Michigan vs. Notre Dame game

The Hero: Jimmy Clausen. When the game was competitive and the whole playbook was open to both teams in the first half, Notre Dame quaterback Clausen was on target. He capitalized on the first two short-field scoring chances. He also hit a perfect 48-yard touchdown to Golden Tate and a 60-yarder to Tate.
The Goats: The lost fumblers. Brandon Minor, Michael Shaw, Grady and Steven Threet fumbled. Notre Dame scored touchdowns on three of U-M's lost fumbles, and three other times the Wolverines fumbled and recovered the ball. The first two lost fumbles handed Notre Dame a short field, and the fourth - Threet's gaffe - was returned 35 yards for a touchdown.

From the Florida Atlantic vs. Michigan State game

The Hero: Javon Ringer. The MSU running back had another record-breaking game, setting career highs in yards (282) and carries (43). His yardage total was the fourth best single-game mark in MSU history.
The Goat: Rusty Smith. It wasn't a good day for any quaterback, but Florida Atlantic's Smith completed just eight passes in 34 attempts. He had 143 total yards, almost half from one fortunate 71-yard play. For someone who averaged close to 300 passing yards per game, this was a setback.

WILF Wednesday Week 25

Holy mackeral, it's that time again. Welcome everybody once again to another edition of WILF Wednesday. I'm Tom, your host. A couple things first. One, all credit and glory to theassman345xxo for making this. Come on, assman, bring back some of your old clips. Secondly, while non-pornographic, this video does come with a viewer discretion advised sticker. There, now I can't get sued. Where should I begin with this lady? She's definitely a veteran of the TV circuit, appearing on "Party of Five", the failed spinoff "Time of Your Life", and her current hit series "Ghost Whisperer". While not so much a movie star as some of the other girls here, she has some cinematic title on her resume, including the first two "I Know What You Did Last Summer" movies, the "Garfield" movies (sorry I had to reming you of "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer" and the "Garfield" films) and who can forget "The Heartbreakers"? I know Ray Liotta never will. ;) Plus, she's had some musical credits to her name, too. But let's face it people. There are two very important reasons we love her. That huge rack of hers. That oh-so delicious ass of hers. She's hot. She's multi-talented. She's bubbly. She's a lot of fun. She's Jennifer Love Hewitt.

TiVo Guide Week of September 8, 2008 *spoiler alert*

"Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" In the second-season opener, the wake of the Jeep explosion brings danger for Sarah and John, while Agent Ellis handles the aftermath of Cromartie's massacre. Elsewhere, high-tech CEO Catherine Weaver (Shirley Manson) has big plans for her corporation. Monday at 8 on Fox.

"The Closer" A drug cartel, police malfeasance and an FBI informant all twist around the investigation of two murdered Tijuana cops. The case spirals downward when a vitriolic newspaper story slams the Priority Homicide Division, putting the team on the defensive. Monday at 9 on TNT.

"Fringe" In the pilot episode, an FBI agent recruits a brilliant but incarcerated scientist (John Noble) and his estranged, sharp-witted son (Joshua Jackson) to investigate an airborne tragedy that may harbinger a trend of increasingly unsettling phenomena. The executive producers include J.J. Abrams, Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci. Tuesday at 8 on Fox.

"Fashion Rocks" Fashion is the focus of this New York City concert at Radio City Music Hall. Featured performers include Beyoncé, Black Eyed Peas, Chris Brown, Mariah Carey, Chris Cornell, Duffy, Fergie, Kid Rock, Solange Knowles, Lil Wayne, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Pussycat Dolls, Rihanna, Timbaland, Justin Timberlake and Keith Urban. Denis Leary is the host. Tuesday at 9 on CBS.

"Rachel Zoe Project" A reality show that documents the life and work of celebrity stylist Rachel Zoe. In the series opener, Rachel looks for the quintessential red-carpet gown for actress Joy Bryant. Meanwhile, there are posse problems when Rachel's associate frowns on a new assistant. Tuesday at 11 on Bravo.

"Project Runway" The designers reach for the stars when they create clothes based on astrological signs. Designer Francisco Costa is the guest judge. Wednesday at 9 on Bravo.

"Do Not Disturb" In the series opener, the staff of a hip New York City hotel called the Inn get into trouble for their on-the-job promiscuity. HR rep Rhonda (Niecy Nash) tries to put a stop to their behavior, especially that of general manager Neal (Jerry O'Connell). But then Rhonda finds herself tempted to engage in the same unprofessional conduct. Wednesday at 9:30 on Fox.

"Sons of Anarchy" As Samcro deals with the aftermath of the illegal-arms-warehouse attack, the deputy police chief poses a new threat to the motorcycle club's power in Charming. Meanwhile, Jax continues to worry about the fate of his newborn son and begins to question the club's rough way of doing business; and Opie's financial woes force him to make a difficult decision. Wednesday at 10 on FX.

"America's Got Talent" The Top 10 acts are unveiled. Thursday at 8:30 on NBC.

"102 Minutes That Changed the World" The 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center are recalled through various sources, including photographs, video and radio recordings from the F.D.N.Y., N.Y.P.D., the Port Authority and amateurs; electronic messages and voice mails; and footage broadcast outside of the U.S. Thursday at 9 on History.

"Top Pop Group" Twelve music acts compete for a $100,000 prize in the premiere of this talent contest hosted by Mario Lopez. Michelle Williams, Taboo and choreographer Brian Friedman are the judges. Thursday at 10 on MTV.

"2008 ALMA Awards" Eva Longoria Parker hosts the 13th annual American Latino Media Arts Awards, taped Aug. 17, 2008, in Pasadena, Cal. Winners include America Ferrera (Entertainer of the Year), Linda Ronstadt (Trailblazer), Shakira (Humanitarian Award), Narciso Rodriguez (Fashion) and Kenny Ortega (Directing). Performing: the Cheetah Girls; Jon Secada and Brian McKnight; A.B. Quintanilla and the Kumbia All Starz; Lisa Lisa and Mario; Wynonna Judd; Lucero; Sergio Mendes, BeBe Winans; will.i.am; Cheech and Chong. Friday at 8 on ABC.

"Gym Teacher: The Movie" A former Olympian (Christopher Meloni) who became a gym teacher takes a shot at the glory he never achieved by competing for a teacher's award. But an uncoordinated new student (Nathan Kress) may cost him his second chance. Amy Sedaris, David Alan Grier, Bruce Jenner. Friday at 8 on Nickelodeon.

"Stargate Atlantis" After Dr. Keller comes to believe she can cure the Wraith of their need to feed on humans, Teyla embarks on a undercover mission with the help of Todd, the team's Wraith ally. Christopher Heyerdahl; Apollonia Vanova. Friday at 10 on Sci Fi.

"Coco Chanel" A chronicle of the life of French designer Coco Chanel (Shirley MacLaine), from her early years in a Paris orphanage to her rise to the top of the fashion world. Malcolm McDowell. Saturday at 8 on Lifetime.

"MADtv" Jerry O'Connell is the guest in the 14th-season opener. Sketches include "So You Think You Can Dance": Presidential Edition. Keegan-Michael Key and Erica Ash play Barack and Michelle Obama, and Bobby Lee and Arden Myrin play John and Cindy McCain. Saturday at 11 on Fox.

"Saturday Night Live" Season 34 opens with Olympic gold-medalist Michael Phelps as host. Rapper Lil Wayne is the musical guest. Saturday at 11:29 on NBC.

"Hannah Montana" Miley and Lilly befriend a school bully when Oliver starts dating her, but when Lilly and the girl bond over their mutual love of sports, Miley fears she'll lose her best friend. Sunday at 8 on Disney.

"True Blood" After Bill helps Sookie out of her dangerous run-in with the Rattrays, she invites him to her grandmother's house to meet the family, but Jason is unnerved when they leave together for a nighttime stroll, which ends at the Compton's antebellum mansion. Sunday at 9 on HBO.

"Entourage" Ari worries about coming clean with Vince about the precarious status of his career; Eric turns to a former associate to shop a promising script; Drama pays a price for his obsessive contact with Jacqueline. Tony Bennett and Mark Wahlberg appear as themselves. Sunday at 10 on HBO.

Unforgiven results

Aside from Britney's big night (3 VMAs! WAHOO!), I had little other reason to celebrate last night. I finished 3-3 with my Unforgiven picks. Triple H, Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase, and Matt Hardy, you are the best. Batista, Chris Jericho, and Maryse, do my a favor and go sit on a flagpole. Seriously, I still thought Batista would win even when Chris Jericho took over CM Punk's spot in the World Heavyweight Championship Scramble Match. AH-DUH! So my record stays in neutral at 167-132. Better luck at No Mercy I guess.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Lions vs. Falcons game

The Hero: Michael Turner. Turner tore through the Detroit defense for a career-high 220 yards and two touchdowns. His season high is 502 yards.
The Goat: Detroit defense. Terrible tackling. Absolutely terrible. The Lions often took bad angles and failed to wrap up the Falcons.

Unforgiven card & picks

World Heavyweight Championship Scramble Match
CM Punk (c), Rey Mysterio, Batista, Kane, JBL

WWE Championship Scramble Match
Triple H (c) vs. Jeff Hardy vs. MVP vs. The Brian Kendrick vs. Shelton Benjamin

World Tag Team Championship Match
Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase (c) vs. Cryme Tyme

Unsanctioned Match
Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

ECW Championship Scramble Match
Mark Henry (c), Matt Hardy, The Miz, Chavo Guerrero, Finlay

Divas Championship Match
Michelle McCool vs. Maryse

Well, with three Championship Scramble Matches, this won't be an easy night for me. Yet, I think I can definitively make picks that help improve on my record of 164-129. So I'm taking Batista, Triple H, Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase, Chris Jericho, Matt Hardy, and Maryse. But I'll be honest. While my brain is telling me one thing, my heart is saying another. And that is that both Hardys will come out on top tonight. Who knows? It could happen. Wish me luck with my picks.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Miami (OH) vs. Michigan game

The Hero: Sam McGuffie, Michigan tailback. He rushed for 74 yards, collected 32 yards receiving and was key to Michigan's game-clinching fourth-quarter drive. Though Brandon Minor scored the touchdown, McGuffie put the Wolverines close enough.
The Goat: The Michigan quaterbacks. Between the two of them, Steven Threet and Nick Sheridan will have to play more consistently for U-M to beat higher-level teams. Threet's overthrows and Sheridan's hot-and-cold tendencies have left coach Rich Rodriguez unsure of who is more reliable.

From the Eastern Michigan vs. Michigan State game

The Hero: MSU running back Javon Ringer had a career-high 34 carries for 135 yards and a career-high five touchdowns. He nearly broke MSU's single-game TD record of six.
The Goat: Eastern Michigan's special teams units. The Eagles gave up 113 yards on punt returns to Otis Wiley and blew a fake field-goal attempt, taking away any momentum the team hoped to gain when the score was 21-7.

WILF Wednesday Week 24

Hey, guys, 313 here. Sorry I'm late again. But with classes starting, I might fall behind a tad. Please don't hate me. Anyways, all credit belongs to theassman345xxxo for making these killer videos. Also, it's not pornographic, parental discretion is advised. *indistinct mumbling* Any way, let's give you the short story here because I might not stay up much longer. This lovely lady made her TV debut on "WWE Tough Enough". Though she didn't win, she honed her skills and was becoming a regular on RAW in late 2004. In 2005, she switched to SmackDown and was the manager for MNM (Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, and her). She was a key to making MNM one of SmackDown's most dominant tag teams. After the team split, she moved to RAW, where she has twice so far won the WWE Women's Championship. A heel most of her career, she's recently turned face, but shortly after, twisted her ankle in a nasty fall. It's only a matter of time until she comes back and takes the Women's division by storm again. Did I ever mention she has a huge rack and an ass that was made for the song "Low" by Flo Rida featuring T-Pain? Because believe me, she does. She's hot. She's fiery. She's athletic. She's a screamer. She can do the splits like nobody else can. She's Melina Perez.

TiVo Guide Week of September 1, 2008 *spoiler alert*

"Gossip Girl" In the second-season opener, summer in the Hamptons winds down as Serena and Nate carry on a cover-up scheme to make others think they're dating. Meanwhile, Blair returns with a new guy she met abroad, arousing jealousy in Chuck; Dan takes a break from his internship with an author (Jay McInerney) to visit Serena; and Eric introduces Jenny to socialite Tinsley Mortimer at an elite Hamptons party. Monday at 8 on The CW.

"Prison Break" As the fourth season opens, Michael is in L.A., looking to even the score with Gretchen for Sara's death, while Gretchen, Whistler and Mahone go about Company business. And in Panama, Sona has burned to the ground, with T-Bag, Bellick and Sucre unaccounted for. Meanwhile, Lincoln, LJ and Sofia are settling in as a family. Wyatt: Cress Williams. Pam Mahone: Callie Thorne. Don Self: Michael Rapaport. Monday at 8 on Fox.

"One Tree Hill" In Part 1 of the two-part sixth-season opener, Lucas' chosen lady meets him at the airport, while Dan's accident proves life-threatening. Elsewhere, Nathan's comeback hits a bump; Mouth and Millicent consider leaving town; and Brooke and her mother clash over Brooke's company once again. Monday at 9 on The CW.

"90210" The spin-off begins with Harry Wilson and his family moving from Kansas to Beverly Hills, where he becomes the new principal of West Beverly Hills High School. The move also allows him to care for his mom, a former TV star. Harry's kids, Annie and Dixon, attend their first day of class and meet an assortment of privileged kids. Dixon tries out for the lacrosse team, but jealous teammates attempt to thwart his efforts. Tuesday at 8 on The CW.

"The Shield" The seventh (and final) season begins with Vic challenging Shane and dealing with threats to his family. Meanwhile, a federal agent arrives in Farmington to investigate a recent wave of violence. Tuesday at 10 on FX.

"General Hospital: Night Shift" As Robert undergoes surgery, Robin must make a decision regarding his life. Elsewhere, Leo and Saira work together to help a patient; Jagger seeks out an autism support group; and Claire clashes with an old classmate. Tuesday at 11 on SoapNet.

"Bones" The fourth season begins with Brennan and Booth lecturing to their respective peers in London, but their trip is extended after they're drawn into the investigation of the murder of a wealthy American's daughter. Meanwhile, back at the Jeffersonian, Angela is shocked by the return of her estranged husband, who must agree to a divorce before she can marry Jack. Wednesday at 8 on Fox.

"Top Design" In the Season 2 premiere, 13 new interior designers must deal with demanding clients when they create a loft space. India Hicks is the series' new host. Season 1 host Todd Oldham changes roles and now serves as the designers' mentor. Jonathan Adler, Margaret Russell and Kelly Wearstler return as the judges. Wednesday at 10 on Bravo.

"Sons of Anarchy" A drama about the Sons of Anarchy Motorcycle Club Redwood Original (Samcro), whose members try to protect their town from drug dealers and developers while running guns themselves. In the opener, a rival club destroys Samcro's illegal-arms warehouse. Meanwhile, there's a medical emergency involving the newborn son of Samcro leader Jax Teller (Charlie Hunnam). Gemma Teller: Katey Sagal. Tara: Maggie Siff. Clay Morrow: Ron Perlman. Wednesday at 10 on FX.

"Kitchen Nightmares" In the second-season opener, Chef Ramsay returns to some restaurants he helped last season and evaluates their progress. Spots visited include Finn McCool's in Westhampton Beach, N.Y., where the owner faced a debt crisis; Peter's in Babylon, N.Y., where the manager and co-owner had temper issues; and the Mixing Bowl Eatery in Bellmore, N.Y., where the management needed to cut back on the customer discounts they offered. Thursday at 8 on Fox.

"Gong Show With Dave Attell" Ron White, Jim Norton and JB Smoove are the judges for the first-season finale. Acts include a plus-size stripper and an extreme-pogo enthusiast. Thursday at 10 on Comedy Central.

"Glam God With Vivica A. Fox" The contestants try their hand at men's fashions when they set out to create a style for the band A Cursive Memory. Trouble arises when one competitor gets drunk and becomes hostile, causing problems with the band and endangering his team. Thursday at 10 on VH1.

"Who Are You Wearing" Four people vie to design a dress for Melissa Rivers. Friday at 7 on TLC.

"Stand Up to Cancer" A fund-raiser for cancer research features reports by Brian Williams, Charles Gibson and Katie Couric. Appearing: Lance Armstrong; Christina Applegate; Elizabeth Edwards; Robin Roberts; Jennifer Aniston; Charlize Theron; Meryl Streep; Forest Whitaker; America Ferrera; Salma Hayek; David Cook; Dana Delany; Abigail Breslin; Scarlett Johansson; Masi Oka; and Marge and Homer Simpson. Included: Delany undergoes a mammogram; Couric and Breslin visit patients at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Friday at 8 on ABC.

"Stand Up to Cancer" A fund-raiser for cancer research features reports by Brian Williams, Charles Gibson and Katie Couric. Appearing: Lance Armstrong; Christina Applegate; Elizabeth Edwards; Robin Roberts; Jennifer Aniston; Charlize Theron; Meryl Streep; Forest Whitaker; America Ferrera; Salma Hayek; David Cook; Dana Delany; Abigail Breslin; Scarlett Johansson; Masi Oka; and Marge and Homer Simpson. Included: Delany undergoes a mammogram; Couric and Breslin visit patients at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Friday at 8 on CBS.

"Stand Up to Cancer" A fund-raiser for cancer research features reports by Brian Williams, Charles Gibson and Katie Couric. Appearing: Lance Armstrong; Christina Applegate; Elizabeth Edwards; Robin Roberts; Jennifer Aniston; Charlize Theron; Meryl Streep; Forest Whitaker; America Ferrera; Salma Hayek; David Cook; Dana Delany; Abigail Breslin; Scarlett Johansson; Masi Oka; and Marge and Homer Simpson. Included: Delany undergoes a mammogram; Couric and Breslin visit patients at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Friday at 8 on NBC.

"Samurai Girl" Part 1 of 6. A reluctant Heaven (Jamie Chung) leaves Tokyo with her family and heads to San Francisco for her arranged marriage. After a group of ninjas arrives and turns the ceremony into chaos, Heaven is warned to be careful whom she trusts, so she sets out to seek some answers about her adopted family and her own past. Friday at 8 on ABC Family.

"Stand Up to Cancer" A fund-raiser for cancer research features reports by Brian Williams, Charles Gibson and Katie Couric. Appearing: Lance Armstrong; Christina Applegate; Elizabeth Edwards; Robin Roberts; Jennifer Aniston; Charlize Theron; Meryl Streep; Forest Whitaker; America Ferrera; Salma Hayek; David Cook; Dana Delany; Abigail Breslin; Scarlett Johansson; Masi Oka; and Marge and Homer Simpson. Included: Delany undergoes a mammogram; Couric and Breslin visit patients at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Friday at 8 on E!

"Pieces of Me: Britney's Greatest VMA Moments" Britney Spears' best moments at the MTV Video Music Awards are recalled. Saturday at 1 on MTV.

"TV Guide Close Up" Simon Cowell is interviewed. Also: Justin Guarini hosts a profile of the "American Idol" judge. Saturday at 8 on TV Guide.

"America United: In Support of Our Troops" Entertainers pay tribute to the military with music, stand-up and human-interest stories. Scheduled to perform: Snoop Dogg; Janet Jackson; Toby Keith; ZZ Top; D.L. Hughley; Sam Moore; Carlos Mencia; Joe Nichols; Jessica Simpson; Clint Black; Kathy Griffin; Ne-Yo; Charlie Wilson; Girlicious; and the San Diego Chargers cheerleaders. Pamela Anderson, Ali Landry, Jordin Sparks and Shawne Merriman are slated to appear. Sunday at 9 on ABC.

"True Blood" Based on Charlaine Harris's Southern Vampire books, the series opens with Bon Temps, La., waitress Sookie Stackhouse welcoming the first vampire, Bill, to Merlotte's bar, while her brother, Jason, deals with the unfortunate fallout of a one-night stand. Sunday at 9 on HBO.

"2008 MTV Video Music Awards" Russell Brand hosts the 25th annual event from Hollywood. Travis Barker, DJ AM, Lupe Fiasco, the Jonas Brothers, Kid Rock, Lil Wayne, Paramore, Katy Perry, Pink, Rihanna, T.I., the Ting Tings and T-Pain are slated to perform. Presenters include Corbin Bleu, Ciara, Miley Cyrus, Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Scarlett Johansson, Taylor Lautner, Lindsay Lohan, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Robert Pattinson, Michael Phelps, Kristen Stewart and Ashley Tisdale. Sunday at 9 on MTV.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Firestone IndyCar Grand Prix at Detroit

The Heroes: Justin Wilson. The 30-year-old rookie rookie earned his first career IndyCar Series victory. Sunday's race was only the second time this season he finished in the top three.
Bruno Junqueira. After starting second from last in 24th position, Junqueira battled all the way up to a seventh place finish.
The Goats: Scott Dixon. OK, really, it's his Target Ganassi Racing team for deciding to pit on Lap 19. Dixon said after the race it wasn't his decision to pit so early, but the move put him back in the pack, on a track that made passing difficult.
Milka Duno. Never a factor the entire race, Duno spun on the first lap, only three turns into the race. The IndyCar Series ruled that Junqueira was responsible for the spin, but Duno finished where she started at 23rd.