313's Heroes and Goats

From the Pacers vs. Pistons game

The Hero: Michael Curry. Won his NBA coaching debut by playing 11 players, including nine for at least 15 minutes.
The Goat: 'Sheed Wallace. Though he scored nine points with seven rebounds, he was rarely seen on offense. Still wasting his talent on the perimeter.

WILF Wednesday Keeley Hazell Take Two

Hey, homies. Tom here again, and welcome back to WILF Wednesday. This is going to be the last (hopefully for a while) video that I need to make up because theassman345xxxo cut it. So, let's get one thing straight. Though it's not pornographic, viewer discretion is advised. That is so annoying, I want to shoot myself everytime I say it. Well, let's just cut the crap and get the video rolling. She's back and she brought her E-cups with her. She's Keeley Hazell.

TiVo Guide Week of October 27, 2008 *spoiler alert*

"Heroes" Nathan and Tracy fight to survive Suresh's plans for them; Angela asks Sylar to save Peter; Daphne's boss gives her a murderous mission; and Hiro ponders Usutu's advice for facing his opponents. Monday at 9 on NBC.

"Paranormal State" The team travels to Quincy, Ill., to visit a 26-year-old woman who says she's being harmed physically by a malevolent spirit, and she provides photographs to back up her claims. Monday at 10 on A&E.

"Raising the Bar" Jerry holds court against an arrogant DA while defending an HIV-positive man leveled with attempted murder charges for spitting at a police officer. Meanwhile, Bobbi and Richard defend a 14-year-old possibly connected to a homicide; and Judge Kessler plans some rest and relaxation in Italy, inviting Charlie along for the trip. Monday at 10 on TNT.

"Biggest Loser: Families" The contestants take a calorie quiz for an advantage in the next challenge. Later, two players clash before the challenge, and someone sets a weight-loss record. Tuesday at 8 on NBC.

"Dancing With the Stars" The sixth-round results show. Tuesday at 9 on ABC.

"The Shield" Vic closes in on Shane, Mara and their sick young son; Claudette dismantles the Strike Team; Pezuela offers Aceveda "assistance" for his mayoral campaign; Rita Denton (Frances Fisher) comes on to Dutch; and Billings' ex-wife and daughter are fearful when a registered sex offender moves into their neighborhood. Tuesday at 10 on FX.

"New Adventures of Old Christine" Christine and Barb go out on a double date with two guys they met at a video store, but jealousy arises when one of the dates goes a lot better than the other one. Wednesday at 8:30 on CBS.

"Lipstick Jungle" Victory has a nightmare about Joe that oddly foreshadows his latest endeavor; Kirby insists on paying for his half of pricey Christmas plans with Nico; Griffin asks Nico to charm a sexist magazine owner; and Wendy frets over her role as a housewife and finds comfort in a new friend (Ed Kerr). Wednesday at 10 on NBC.

"Dirty Sexy Money" Patrick must deal with Tripp opposing his plan to take his relationship with Carmelita public and Ellen's brother demanding the truth about his sister's death. Meanwhile, Nick and Lisa attend couples therapy; Jeremy tries to get Letitia's house-arrest restrictions lessened; and Brian Jr. goes missing. Wednesday at 10:01 on ABC.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" Catherine and Riley investigate the murder of a woman who was thrown out of a nightclub. The victim is discovered to have several different blood types in her body. It is also revealed that she is the daughter of a drug lord wanted by the FBI. The case is made even more difficult for Catherine when she finds her daughter, Lindsey, at the club with a fake ID. Thursday at 9 on CBS.

"The Office" Halloween gets tricky for Pam when she's the only one at corporate wearing a costume. Meanwhile, corporate delivers shocking news, and Dwight harasses Andy. Thursday at 9 on NBC.

"Sarah Silverman Program" Sarah starts wetting her bed; Brian's affection for his facial hair is not shared by Steve. Thursday at 10:30 on Comedy Central.

"Super WHY!" The Super Readers learn all about Halloween when Pig's too afraid to go trick-or-treating. Friday at 10 on PBS.

"Ghost Hunters Live" The team revisits Fort Delaware in Delaware City to probe the former Civil War post for the annual Halloween-night special. Guests Amanda Tapping and Mike "The Miz" Mizanin join the hunt. Hosts: Josh Gates and Steve Valentine. Friday at 7 on Sci Fi.

"Lipstick Jungle" Victory prepares to launch her flagship store but hits a snag when Dahlia goes over budget for the opening; Joe makes a big decision about his relationship with Victory; Wendy pitches a project to her former employer; and Nico bonds with Megan's baby. Andrew McCarthy directed. Friday at 10 on NBC.

"Austin City Limits" The rock band My Morning Jacket showcases selections from its 2008 CD, "Evil Urges." Saturday at 9 on PBS.

"Primeval" Season 2 closes with the team pitted against a predator from the future, along with other species. Saturday at 9 on BBC America.

"Saturday Night Live" Ben Affleck hosts. David Cook is the music guest. Saturday at 11:29 on NBC.

"Brotherhood" Season 3 begins with Tommy experiencing mounting frustration with his diminished role as Speaker Donatello's factotum and considering a career change. Meanwhile, Michael learns that Freddie Cork is getting out of prison, which has a serious impact on his relationship with Attorney General Franklin. And with her birthday approaching, Rose tries to cover up her deteriorating health. Sunday at 8 on Showtime.

"Family Guy" Peter gets a year's supply of free gasoline and takes the family on a driving vacation. Destination: the Grand Canyon. The only thing missing: Stewie, who's inadvertently left home alone. Sunday at 9 on Fox.

"Army Wives" The second season wraps up with the Holdens dealing with big changes. Meanwhile, Pamela wonders about her decision to marry into the Army; Betty's long-lost nephew arrives unexpectedly at the bar to see Roxy; and Roland must help a former patient. Sunday at 10 on Lifetime.

Cyber Sunday results

*sigh* Once again, I thought I had finally figured out Cyber Sunday. And once again, that hope was dashed. I only managed a dismal 4-4 record last night. That means my overall record is now 176-138. On the bright side, who would have thought that as I enter my fourth year of predicting WWE pay-per-views, I would be 28 wins over .500? I guess that's really the only good thing I can take from last night's show. So to paraphrase Amy Poehler, can I get a, "What, what," from the winners' section? Thanks a million Batista, Triple H, Matt Hardy, and John Morrison & The Miz. As for Santino Marella, Big Show, Kane, and Beth Phoenix, go hit the weights, you guys need help. After this, I guess the next best news is that the next pay-per-view is my favorite of the year, Survivor Series. That means a lot of weird tag teams put together in matches that will help pave the path to WrestleMania 25. Until then, peace out, y'all.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Redskins vs. Lions game

The Hero: Santana Moss. He scored second-half TDs on a 50-yard reception and an 80-yard punt return.
The Goats: Offensive tackles. Rookie Gosder Cherilus was flagged twice for holding on one drive, and Jeff Backus was nabbed twice for false starts.

Cyber Sunday card and picks

Singles match for the World Heavyweight Championship Fans vote for the special guest referee
Chris Jericho (c) vs. Batista
Candidates: Randy Orton, Shawn Michaels, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin

Singles match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship Fans vote for Marella's opponent
Santino Marella (c) vs. TBD
Candidates: Roddy Piper, Goldust, The Honky Tonk Man

Singles match or Triple Threat for the WWE Championship Fans vote for Triple H's opponent(s)
Triple H (c) vs. TBD
Candidates: Vladimir Kozlov, Jeff Hardy, Both (Triple Threat Match)

Fans vote for the match stipulation via WWE.com
The Undertaker vs. Big Show
Candidates: Knockout match, "I Quit" match, Last Man Standing match

Fans vote for the match stipulation
Rey Mysterio vs. Kane
Candidates: Falls Count Anywhere match, No Holds Barred match, Two out of three falls match

Singles match for the ECW Championship Fans vote for Hardy's opponent
Matt Hardy (c) vs. TBD
Candidates: Mark Henry, Evan Bourne, Finlay

Tag team match Fans vote for the tag team match
TBD
Candidates: William Regal and Layla vs. Jamie Noble and Mickie James, John Morrison and The Miz vs. Cryme Tyme (JTG and Shad), Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase (c) vs. CM Punk and Kofi Kingston (for the World Tag Team Championship)

Fans vote for their favorite Halloween Costume via WWE.com just after the competition
Divas Halloween Costume Contest
Candidates: Beth Phoenix, Brie Bella, Candice Michelle (as Marilyn Monroe), Eve Torres (as a Ninja Turtle), Jillian Hall (as Batgirl), Kelly Kelly (as a sailor), Katie Lea (as a vampire), Layla, Lena Yada, Maria (as a playboy bunny), Maryse (as a french maid), Michelle McCool (as a soldier), Mickie James, Natalya, Tiffany (as a nun), Victoria (as a bananna)

Hey, way to go me! This is my third anniversary of WWE pay-per-view picks, and my overall record is 172-134. While Cyber Sunday has never been kind to me, I think I have it mastered this year. I'm going with (regardless of the stipulations) Batista, Santino Marella, Triple H, Big Show, Kane, Matt Hardy, and Beth Phoenix. Now as for the potential tag team matches. If we get Jamie Noble & Mickie James vs. Layla & William Regal, I'll take Jamie Noble & Mickie James. If we get John Morrison & The Miz vs. JTG & Shad, I'll take John Morrison & The Miz. If we get CM Punk & Kofi Kingston vs. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase, I'll take Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase. Wish me luck!

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Michigan State vs. Michigan game

The Hero: Javon Ringer. So many great running backs have played this rivalry, but it's hard to think of any who ran harder than MSU's star.
The Goat: Scott Shafer. The Spartans converted one third down after another. For a veteran defense, that is baffling, and it's the responsibility of the defensive coordinator.

WILF Wednesday: Megan Fox, Take Two

Hey, there guys. WILF Wednesday is back, and it's on Wednesday for once (YIKES!). I don't know why, but theassman345xxxo has been pulling videos down or they're getting flagged. I'm just crossing my fingers that assman hasn't lost it. So now that this girl's video is gone, I had to hunt down a second video for her. And not much changed from the first. This video requires parental discretion because we hear the words, "Barack Obama." I keed, I keed. Seriously, though, even though this clip isn't pornographic, viewer discretion is advised. OK, I said it, now where's my fucking paycheck? Anyways, enough of my ramblings, let's get to the clip. It's the woman who recently told GQ that she has been invovled in lesbian relationships with strippers. Not that I blame the strippers for saying yes. I mean, just look at that ASS! She's Megan Fox.

TiVo Guide Week of October 20, 2008 *spoiler alert*

"Dancing With the Stars" In the fifth week of performances, contestants tackle four dances that are new to this competition: the hustle, the salsa, the jitterbug and the West Coast swing. Monday at 8 on ABC.

"Chuck" Sarah's teenage insecurities bubble to the surface when she runs into her school nemesis, Heather Chandler (Nicole Richie). But in order to stymie a plot involving bombs, Sarah must attend her high-school reunion and go face-to-face with Heather. Meanwhile, with Buy More bigwig Big Mike absent, Lester is left in charge of carrying out a new sales policy. Ben Savage guest stars. Monday at 8 on NBC.

"CSI: Miami" A murder occurs in a trendy fashion boutique and during the investigation Horatio realizes that Julia is becoming increasingly unstable and volatile. Monday at 10 on CBS.

"House" A woman with whom Thirteen had a one-night stand has a seizure at Thirteen's apartment, prompting intense curiosity (both professional and otherwise) about the women's personal lives from House and Foreman. Adding to the intrigue: Thirteen discovers why the woman wanted to sleep with her. Meanwhile, Lucas (Michael Weston) continues to snoop on Wilson. Tuesday at 8 on Fox.

"Dancing With the Stars" The fifth-round results show. Tuesday at 9 on ABC.

"The Mentalist" When an investment banker is found murdered inside his locked safe room, the team unlocks the secret that he was stealing millions from clients. Jane sets a trap to catch one of the suspects. Virgil Minelli: Gregory Itzin. Jennifer Sands: Lisa Brenner. Tuesday at 9 on CBS.

"Criminal Minds" The team searches for a serial killer who stages his murders to look like car accidents. William Mapother and Wil Wheaton guest star. Wednesday at 9 on CBS.

"Ghost Hunters" Two Massachusetts probes have the team investigating claims purported in Springfield and Leominster. Wednesday at 9 on Sci Fi.

"Top Design" The remaining designers lighten up when they construct a room built around an oversize chandelier. Clothing-store creative director Simon Doonan is the guest judge. Wednesday at 10 on Bravo.

"Big Movie Premiere: High School Musical 3: Senior Year" A behind-the-scenes look at "High School Musical 3: Senior Year" includes interviews with cast members Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens and Ashley Tisdale. Also: a preview of music from the movie. Thursday at 8 on TV Guide.

"Ugly Betty" Kimmie (Lindsay Lohan) asks Betty for help in her job search; Daniel turns to a matchmaking service to find a mate; and Justin auditions for a Broadway musical. Thursday at 8 on ABC.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" The team investigates a series of bizarre deaths in which the victims are found frozen in place, some standing upright, doing ordinary activities. At the lab, a new CSI (Lauren Lee Smith) joins the night shift. Thursday at 9 on CBS.

"South of Nowhere" Kyla tries to be honest with Ashley in an attempt to redeem herself after being embarrassed on national TV. Friday at 8:30 on The N.

"Stargate Atlantis" Sheppard's team is seized and detained by an interplanetary council that wants to try them for crimes against the people of the Pegasus Galaxy, prompting Woolsey to intervene. Friday at 9 on Sci Fi.

"Starter Wife" Molly meets with Eve's husband, a Hollywood agent, and considers adding a P.I. element to her writing. Elsewhere, Liz is suspicious of Devon; Felix and Rodney have a fight; and Joan juggles her relationship with David and her friendship with Robin. Friday at 10 on USA.

"Paula's Party" Richard Simmons, Ana Gasteyer and Kyle Massey are guests for a Halloween party. On the menu: baked-pumpkin ziti; gooey pumpkin cakes; spicy "vampire" dip. Saturday at 8 on Food.

"Sex and Lies in Sin City: The Ted Binion Scandal" The true tale of the suspicious death of Las Vegas casino heir Ted Binion (Matthew Modine), who was initially thought to have overdosed. His stripper lover (Mena Suvari) and her boyfriend (Johnathon Schaech) stood trial for his murder after Binion's sister (Marcia Gay Harden) raised questions about his demise. Saturday at 9 on Lifetime.

"Desperate Housewives" Dave persuades Susan to throw a 70th-birthday party for Mrs. McCluskey, but his motives aren't entirely altruistic and Mrs. McCluskey isn't overjoyed; Jackson wants to ramp things up with Susan; Gaby fears she might be pregnant again; and Tom tells Lynette that he has sold the pizzeria. Meanwhile, events of the past five years come more clearly into focus. Among them: how the bond between Bree and Katherine developed. Sunday at 9 on ABC.

"True Blood" Jason's latest girlfriend, Amy, is a hit at Merlotte's, but her mood darkens when the "V" runs out. Meanwhile, Bill asks Sookie to help Eric in his hunt for a Fangtasia thief; Tara marvels at her mother's transformation; and Rene proposes to Arlene. Sunday at 9 on HBO.

"Mad Men" Things at Sterling Cooper don't run as smoothly while Don is away; Betty receives some upsetting news. Sunday at 10 on AMC.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Lions vs. Texans game

The Hero: Andre Johnson. He had 11 catches for 141 yards. (I could have picked Matt Schaub, but almost all QBs have a big day against the Lions.)
The Goat: The first quarter. Once again, the other team scores and the Lions don't. For the season, they're losing the first quarter, 54-0.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Ohio State vs. Michigan State game

The Hero: Terrelle Pryor. The Ohio State freshman quaterback ran for a touchdown and threw for another before the game was 8 minutes old. His first-half passer rating was 222.7. He also ran for 47 yards on nine carries in the half.
The Goat: Brian Hoyer. The MSU senior quarterback completed only five of 12 passes for 27 yards in the first half. He also threw an interception and injured his hand; he was replaced by redshirt freshman Kirk Cousins in the second half but did briefly return.

From the Michigan vs. Penn State game

The Hero: Evan Royster. The Penn State sophomore running back had 174 yards (171 through the third quarter), including a 44-yard touchdown run.
The Goat: U-M quarterbacks. The Michigan quarterback of your choosing. Steven Threet and Nick Sheridan combined for just 89 yards passing. That's inexcusable, particularly when they had the benefit of Brandon Minor's impressive ground game (117 yards). Threet's still battling a bad elbow that required him to return to the locker room during the game for treatment. Sheridan was sacked for a safety.

WILF Wednesday: Shakira redux

'Sup guys. Welcome to another edition of WILF Wednesday. I know, late again, you might wanna get used to it tonight. Now things are going to be different tonight. You see, theassman345xxxo pulled his video of Shakira and her glorious ass-ets. That means my previous Shakira post is now no longer able to play the video. Well I can't have THAT happening. Surely, you guys need a fixture of the best thing to come out of Columbia since cocoa, right? So, let's get that booty shaking hottie back on this blog where she belongs. She's Shakira.

Edit on January 7, 2008: P.S. This is the new version from theassman345xxxo. Sadly, though it is not pornographic, viewer discretion is advised.

TiVo Guide Week of October 13, 2008 *spoiler alert*

"Chuck" Sarah's ex-flame and partner, Bryce Larkin (Matthew Bomer), makes an unforeseen return and goes undercover with Sarah as an overly affectionate couple, much to a jealous Chuck's chagrin. At Buy More, Morgan tangles with strip-mall bullies, headed by the menacing Mitt (former NFL star Michael Strahan). Monday at 8 on NBC.

"Samantha Who?" In the second-season opener, Sam teams with her mom in a dance competition against Regina's nemesis (Cybill Shepherd) and her partner, who happens to be a ringer (Mark Ballas from "Dancing With the Stars"). Meanwhile, Todd is still in Sam's apartment because he's having trouble finding a new place. Monday at 9:31 on ABC.

"My Own Worst Enemy" Everyman Henry Spivey (Christian Slater) discovers his superspy alter ego, Edward Albright, in the premiere episode of this action-drama series. The implant in his brain that separates the two identities begins to malfunction, leaving each side fighting for dominance. Monday at 10 on NBC.

"Biggest Loser: Families" A temptation test leaves the players in the dark. Later, a challenge lasts from sunrise to sunset, and a contestant considers leaving the ranch. Tuesday at 8 on NBC.

"Fringe" Dangerous consequences of a man's peculiar ability to harness electricity draw the attention of Olivia, Peter and Dr. Bishop, whose unorthodox methods extend to including the use of homing pigeons to aid their investigation. Tuesday at 9 on Fox.

"General Hospital: Night Shift" In Part 1 of the two-part second-season finale, a comatose Robert is visited by old friends and family, including Mac, Luke, Sean and Tiffany. Elsewhere, Jagger is served custody papers; Toussaint receives a surprising letter; Claire makes a major career decision; and Kyle and Eric hit a turning point in their relationship. Tuesday at 11 on SoapNet.

"Pushing Daisies" Chuck, Emerson and Ned impersonate Vatican investigators when Olive suspects foul play at the convent in the death of a friend that was ruled a suicide. Wednesday at 8 on ABC.

"MLB Baseball:Game 5: Phillies at Dodgers" Philadelphia at Los Angeles Dodgers in Game 5 of the NL Championship Series. Wednesday at 8 on Fox.

"Presidential Debate" Presidential candidates John McCain (R) and Barack Obama (D) debate domestic issues at Hofstra University in Hempstead, N.Y. Bob Schieffer moderates. Wednesday at 8:50 on Fox News.

"Presidential Debate" Presidential candidates John McCain (R) and Barack Obama (D) debate domestic issues at Hofstra University in Hempstead, N.Y. Bob Schieffer moderates. Wednesday at 9 on ABC.

"Presidential Debate" Presidential candidates John McCain (R) and Barack Obama (D) debate domestic issues at Hofstra University in Hempstead, N.Y. Bob Schieffer moderates. Wednesday at 9 on CBS.

"Presidential Debate" Presidential candidates John McCain (R) and Barack Obama (D) debate domestic issues at Hofstra University in Hempstead, N.Y. Bob Schieffer moderates. Wednesday at 9 on NBC.

"Presidential Debate" Presidential candidates John McCain (R) and Barack Obama (D) debate domestic issues at Hofstra University in Hempstead, N.Y. Bob Schieffer moderates. Wednesday at 9 on PBS.

"Project Runway" The final designers are on pins and needles as the winning contestant is revealed in the conclusion of the Season 5 finale. Tim Gunn serves as the guest judge. Wednesday at 9 on Bravo.

"Presidential Debate" Presidential candidates John McCain (R) and Barack Obama (D) debate domestic issues at Hofstra University in Hempstead, N.Y. Bob Schieffer moderates. Wednesday at 9 on CNBC.

"Presidential Debate" Presidential candidates John McCain (R) and Barack Obama (D) debate domestic issues at Hofstra University in Hempstead, N.Y. Bob Schieffer moderates. Wednesday at 9 on CNN.

"Presidential Debate" Presidential candidates John McCain (R) and Barack Obama (D) debate domestic issues at Hofstra University in Hempstead, N.Y. Bob Schieffer moderates. Wednesday at 9 on MSNBC.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" A hypnotist becomes the prime suspect in a murder case after she uses her expertise to rob banks and someone is killed during one of the heists. Jorja Fox reprises her role as Sara Sidle. Thursday at 9 on CBS.

"The Office" In preparation for Jan's delivery, Michael practices various potential birthing situations with Dwight. For Jan's benefit, Michael also gives the false impression that he dislikes Holly (Amy Ryan). Thursday at 9 on NBC.

"Saturday Night Live Weekend Update Thursday" A skewering of politics and topical news, revolving around the late-night show's "Weekend Update" segment. Thursday at 9:31 on NBC.

"Crusoe" In the premiere episode of this adaptation of Daniel Defoe's classic novel, Crusoe (Philip Winchester) sets sail for the New World in the hope of obtaining financial security. Instead, he finds himself nearly killed and stranded on a deserted island. Friday at 8 on NBC.

"NUMB3RS" Don investigates the execution of eight people, including two police officers, in a coffee shop. The probe uncovers a messy trail of corruption, blackmail and sex. Meanwhile, the FBI's McGowan digs deeper into his investigation of Don and Charlie. Friday at 10 on CBS.

"Crash" In the opener, a Korean man is murdered and Axel lands the case; Kenny and Bebe have a run-in with an attractive woman; and Christine's father falls ill during her 40th birthday party, and much to the dismay of her husband, she decides that they should take in the old man. Friday at 10 on Encore.

"Crash" In the opener, a Korean man is murdered and Axel lands the case; Kenny and Bebe have a run-in with an attractive woman; and Christine's father falls ill during her 40th birthday party, and much to the dismay of her husband, she decides that they should take in the old man. Friday at 10 on Starz.

"Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling" Ten celebs compete for the title of Celebrity All-Star Wrestling Champion. Contestants include Danny Bonaduce, Todd Bridges, Dennis Rodman, Nikki Ziering and Tiffany. In the series opener, the competitors learn three wrestling skills: the clothesline, the forearm smash and the kick to the midsection. Brutus Beefcake and Brian "Nasty Boy" Knobs are the coaches. Saturday at 8 on CMT.

"Naked Brothers Band" The third-season opener finds the band making a movie, but the real drama occurs behind the scenes: Nat develops feelings for his costar, Miranda Cosgrove, while Alex gets nervous about having to kiss his pal Juanita on screen. Meanwhile, Rosalina tries to get herself written out of the script, and David, Thomas and Qaasim attempt to overthrow the director. Saturday at 8:30 on Nickelodeon.

"Living Proof" The true story of Dr. Dennis Slamon (Harry Connick Jr.), who helped develop the breast-cancer drug Herceptin. Slamon's difficulties in getting Herceptin through drug trials are chronicled, as are the struggles of the first women to take the medicine. Amanda Bynes, Tammy Blanchard, Jennifer Coolidge, Angie Harmon and Regina King costar. Saturday at 9 on Lifetime.

"Entourage" Vince works with a supermodel on a photo shoot for a major fashion house, and Ari seizes an opportunity at a funeral to boost his client's career. Sunday at 10 on HBO.

"Californication" Hank and Karen throw a dinner party that turns into a disaster when Hank butchers his marriage proposal to her. Also, there's a chance that Hank may be the father of their friend Sonja's child, and Lew almost winds up sleeping with the fishes after an allergic reaction to sushi. Sunday at 10 on Showtime.

"Brothers & Sisters" Determined to rid herself of reminders of her deceased husband and devote her time to a worthy cause, Nora plans a garage sale to peddle all of William's personal effects. Meanwhile, Robert tries to find a replacement for an important position; estranged siblings are reunited by a time capsule; and Holly begins a search for Ryan. Sunday at 10:01 on ABC.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Lions vs. Vikings game

The Hero: Gus Frerotte. The former Lion - from way back when - passed for 183 yards and put 10 points on the board in the second half.
The Goats: The refs. They put the Vikings - who were driving for the winning field goal - in range with 42 yards on a questionable interference call against Leigh Bodden.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Toledo vs. Michigan game

The Hero: Nick Moore. The Toledo receiver caught 20 passes for 162 yards. It's a Michigan record for catches by an opposing individual.
The Goat: K.C. Lopata. U-M kicker pulled a would-be-tying, 26-yard field-goal attempt left with four seconds left.

From the Michigan State vs. Northwestern game

The Hero: MSU's secondary. The defensive backs atoned for last year's poor performance by making two picks, limiting big plays and limiting the Wildcats from scoring out of their spread offense. Northwestern had one passing touchdown and one rushing touchdown.
The Goat: C.J. Bacher. The Northwestern quaterback finished 34-for-61 for 283 yards but threw two interceptions and had just one passing touchdown. MSU converted both of those picks into evential scores.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Maple Leafs vs. Red Wings game

The Hero: Vesa Toskala. The Toronto goalie stole the Wings' thunder with 35 saves on 37 shots.
The Goats: Sloppy Wings. Fourteen different players had at least one turnover -- and five had two.

WILF Wednesday Week 29

Hey, guys. Sorry about the delay. But believe me when I say it's worth it. Of course, credit goes to theassman345xxxo for putting this video together. Now there really isn't a whole lot I can say about this chick. Her name is enough to send men into a frenzy. Yes, Butch, that includes you. But let's look at her resume for the hell of it. "Dark Angel," the "Fantastic Four" series, "Into the Blue," "Good Luck Chuck," "The Love Guru." She is certainly in high demand in Hollywood. And she's a consistent top ten on the men's magazines hot lists. Not that it should come as a surprise. Getting a piece of that ass an asperation that all men should seek to do. She's hot. She's talented. She's a recent MILF. She's the defination of bangable. She's Jessica Alba.

TiVo Guide Week of October 6, 2008 *spoiler alert*

"The Big Bang Theory" Sheldon shows Penny the joys of online gaming, creating an addict in the process. Gablehauser: Mark Harelik. Blaine: Tyler Olson. Tom: Mark Hames. Monday at 8 on CBS.

"Prison Break" While Linc, Sara, Sucre and Roland track down the fifth card in Las Vegas, Michael and Bellick are unavoidably detained in L.A. by a gun-wielding T-Bag, who needs Michael to decipher the bird book. T-Bag, as it happens, is doing the bidding of Gretchen, who made him an offer he couldn't refuse. Meanwhile, Wyatt shows up at Don Self's home; and Sara learns something disturbing about Michael. Scuderi: Jude Ciccolella. Monday at 9 on Fox.

"CSI: Miami" The daughter of Delko's therapist (Gail O'Grady) is murdered and the crime threatens to expose some of Delko's darkest secrets. Monday at 10 on CBS.

"Dancing With the Stars" The third-round results show. Tuesday at 8 on ABC.

"Real Housewives of Atlanta" Real-world dramas whirl around five privileged ladies from Atlanta in this soapy entry in the "Real Housewives" franchise. In the series premiere, DeShawn---the wife of a professional basketball player---sees her mansion for the very first time, and real-estate maven Lisa struggles to juggle family and career. Meanwhile, interpersonal troubles loom when the housewives gather at Sheree's birthday bash. Tuesday at 9 on Bravo.

"The Cleaner" William takes Swenton into his home and is determined to get him clean and save his life. Meanwhile, Akani and Darnell tackle a case involving a drug dealer. Tania Raymonde, Mark Ivanir. Tuesday at 10 on A&E.

"Criminal Minds" Prentiss and Reid are held captive at a cult compound when they go undercover to investigate potential child abuse. Luke Perry guest stars as the cult's leader. Wednesday at 9 on CBS.

"Lipstick Jungle" Nico clashes with the new CEO (James Lesure) and frets over going public with her relationship with Kirby; Joe interferes with Victory's new romance; and Wendy throws herself into her latest project. Wednesday at 10 on NBC.

"Sarah Silverman Program" After Sarah smokes pot for the first time, she leaves herself a message that begs her to take her rambling, under-the-influence ideas seriously. Wednesday at 10:30 on Comedy Central.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" The ninth season opens with Grissom and his team shocked to learn that Warrick has been shot. They immediately begin to investigate the crime and learn a stunning secret about their colleague. When Sara hears the news, she returns to the lab to help with the probe. Thursday at 9 on CBS.

"ER" The ER is on guard as Gates marshals the new interns to treat a terrorist, but it's the new doctor (Angela Bassett) and her tough disposition that has everyone on the defensive. Meanwhile, Neela is on a mission to get Dubenko back on the surgery staff. Thursday at 10 on NBC.

"Life on Mars" In the series opener, NYPD detective Sam Tyler (Jason O'Mara) is hit by a car in 2008 and wakes up in 1973. There, he works with politically incorrect boss Gene Hunt (Harvey Keitel) and tough detective Ray Carling (Michael Imperioli) to help find a killer whose case is similar to one he was working on in 2008, all the while trying to figure out how to get home to 2008. Loosely based on the British drama of the same name. Annie Norris: Gretchen Mol. Thursday at 10:01 on ABC.

"American Idol Rewind" The Season 3 Atlanta auditions include uncut performances by eventual champ Fantasia Barrino and Top 12 finalist Jennifer Hudson. Also: Hudson's pre-audition jitters; and a new interview with Top 12 finalist Amy Adams. Friday at 8 on TV Guide.

"South of Nowhere" Ashley wants a commitment from Spencer now that they're back together. Elsewhere, Aiden sets out to rebuild his life and move forward. Friday at 9 on The N.

"Starter Wife" In the season premiere, Molly draws material from her diary in a writing workshop, which she hopes will help her revitalize her career. Elsewhere, Joan's job at a rehab facility leaves her wrangling an abrasive ex-sex symbol; and Rodney develops a crush on a client, a macho action star. Friday at 9 on USA.

"Murder on Her Mind" A juror (Annabeth Gish) dismissed from a murder trial becomes convinced that the woman convicted is innocent and sets out to discover the truth nearly 20 years later, forming a unique bond with the defendant in the process. Saturday at 9 on Lifetime.

"MADtv" Jerry O'Connell is the guest in the 14th-season opener. Sketches include "So You Think You Can Dance": Presidential Edition. Keegan-Michael Key and Erica Ash play Barack and Michelle Obama, and Bobby Lee and Arden Myrin play John and Cindy McCain. Saturday at 11 on Fox.

"True Blood" A tragedy sends Sookie in search of a place far from others' inner voices; Jason suffers withdrawal symptoms from a recent habit; and Tara's mother reaches out to her in a time of need. Sunday at 9 on HBO.

"Dexter" Dexter has a run-in with a pedophile; Freebo is accused of a murder he didn't commit, and Dexter knows the truth but can't say anything about it. Also, Dexter's friendship with Miguel begins to weigh on his mind. Sunday at 9 on Showtime.

"Brothers & Sisters" Sarah and Saul react to Holly's latest power play; Kevin experiences discrimination at work for the first time; and Justin encounters a soldier with whom he served in Iraq. Sunday at 10:01 on ABC.

No Mercy results

Holy cheese! Can you say SMOKIN'?! My night at No Mercy was amazing. Last night, I went 5-2. Thank you Beth Phoenix, Triple H, Batista, Chris Jericho, and Matt Hardy. And as for Undertaker and Kane, may they be KO'ed and not be unable to do their zombie sit-up (NOTE: 313 does not really wish the worst against Undertaker and Kane). So how about this for a shining record? 172-134. BOO-YAH, BITCHES!

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Silver Stars vs. Shock game

The Hero: Katie Smith. Smith, the Finals MVP, missed much of the second quarter with foul trouble, but still led the Shock with 18 points.
The Goat: Becky Hammon. The point guard was all but invisible, going 1-for-10 from the field with five points and three assists.

From the Bears vs. Lions game

The Hero: Kyle Orton. Another quarterback, another career day against the Lions' defense.
The Goat: Roy Williams. The Lions WR had stats, but his pouty day symbolized fans' frustation.

No Mercy card & picks

Singles match for the WWE Women's Championship
Beth Phoenix (c) vs. Candice Michelle

Singles match for the WWE Championship
Triple H (c) vs. Jeff Hardy

Singles match with the winner becoming #1 contender for the World Heavyweight Championship
Batista vs. John "Bradshaw" Layfield

Ladder Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Chris Jericho (c) vs. Shawn Michaels

Singles match for the ECW Championship
Matt Hardy (c) vs. Mark Henry

Singles match
Big Show vs. The Undertaker

Singles match, in which if Mysterio loses, he must remove his mask
Kane vs. Rey Mysterio

This PPV isn't going to be a walk in the park for me. I didn't do as good as I wanted with Unforgiven, so my record is 167-132. Time turn the luck around. My picks for tonight are Beth Phoenix, Triple H, Batista, Chris Jericho, Matt Hardy, Undertaker, and Kane. But believe me, I really want to be wrong about the WWE Women's Championship and WWE Championship Match and right with ECW Championship match. That way, the Hardys are on top of the WWE, and Candice can take back her spot as the top Diva on RAW.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Iowa vs. Michigan State game

The Hero: Adam Decker. The MSU middle linebacker made the stop that sealed the Spartans' 16-13 victory over Iowa, knocking Iowa RB Shonn Greene back for a loss on 4th-and-inches at MSU's 21 with 2:10 left in the game.
The Goat: Ricky Stanzi. The Iowa QB had three turnovers in the first half -- two fumbles and an interception -- which MSU converted into six points.

From the Illinois vs. Michigan game

The Hero: Juice Williams. The Illinois junior threw for 310 yards, the second-highest total of his career and most ever against a Big Ten school. He set a Michigan Stadium record with 431 yards of total offense, rushed for two touchdowns and threw touchdown passes of 57 and 77 yards.
The Goat: Michigan's defense. The Wolverines had only allowed one touchdown in the second half this season before giving up four to Illinois on Saturday. Missed tackles and mental mistakes helped contribute to a subpar performance.

WILF Wednesday Week 28

Alright guys, here's the real WILF Wednesday update. I'm Tom, aka InThe313. Now I have to say sorry for being late again. But I gotta say great job making this video, theassman345xxxo. Now, this woman is a work of art. We all know where she started. She was Mary Camden on "7th Heaven." After a very risque layout for Gear Magazine, she was released from the show. When it seemed her attempt to get fired worked in her favor, she had trouble getting work. Being classy, she apologized to Aaron Spelling and occassionally guessed starred on the show that made her. Since then, the sky's been the limit for this lovely lady. She's scored roles in major movies including "Summer Catch," "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," "The Illusionist," and "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry." Did I mention that Evil and I have nicknamed her Miss New Booty after those red carpet shots of her at the premiere of "The Illusionist." Sorry, Bubba Sparxxx. Needless to say, she's got excellent breasts and a marvelous ass. She's hot. She's exotic. She's a great actress. She's Jessica Biel.