TiVo Guide week of April 27, 2009 *spoiler alert*

“Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!” A popular all-girl music group comes to Wuzzleburg and hosts a contest called Wuzzleburg Idol. Later, Wubbzy is advised to be himself while participating in the competition. Beyoncé provides the voice of Shine, one of the members of the Wubb Girlz. Monday at 10 on Nickelodeon.

“24” The pathogen crisis continues, and Jack Bauer interrogates a key suspect. Monday at 9 on Fox.

“CSI: Miami” A sexy bachelorette on a popular TV dating series is discovered murdered in a limousine just as the bachelor on the show is going to propose to her. The investigation reveals the victim was one of the program's final two contestants and that the show's star had already broke the heart of the other lady. Monday at 10 on CBS.

“Dancing With the Stars” The eighth-round results show. Also: Robin Thicke performs, and the professional-dancer competition continues. Tuesday at 9 on ABC.

“Life After People” Examining flora and fauna no longer affected by humans and how they might break free and dominate the planet. Tuesday at 10 on History.

“Without a Trace” A reporter (Nicholle Tom) vanishes not long after writing an expose on a corrupt politician. Tuesday at 10:01 on CBS.

“Criminal Minds” A serial killer sends the team a videotape recounting one of his murders--and also asking for help to stop killing. Vincent: Alex O'Loughlin. Wednesday at 9 on CBS.

“American Idol” One contestant is eliminated in a results edition. Season 5 winner Taylor Hicks performs "Seven Mile Breakdown." Wednesday at 9 on Fox.

“Make Me a Supermodel” The contestants depart Manhattan and journey to the country for a photo shoot. Later, the English countryside serves as the inspiration for the models' catwalk performance. Photographer Aliya Naumoff makes an appearance. Model Maggie Rizer and hairstylist Harry Josh are the guest judges. Wednesday at 10 on Bravo.

“Ugly Betty” When Betty and her family are on the guest list for a renowned Easter egg hunt thrown by Matt's obscenely wealthy father (David Rasche), Daniel hatches an idea that could improve Mode's financial situation. Meanwhile, Wilhelmina finds a reason to be suspicious of her son's DNA. Thursday at 8 on ABC.

“Being Erica” Erica turns control freak when she's tasked with launching Katie's book, and realizes her need for control may be affecting her relationship with Ethan. Thursday at 10 on SoapNet.

“Private Practice” The second season concludes with choices facing both Naomi (to leave Oceanside Wellness or stay) and Violet (Pete or Sheldon). Violet must also deal with a grieving patient. Meanwhile, Morgan (Amanda Detmer) goes into labor as Addison sorts out her feelings for Noah (Josh Hamilton); and Dell worries about his daughter when doped-up ex-girlfriend Heather returns to town. Thursday at 10:02 on ABC.

“Fairly OddParents” In Part 1 of 3, a dark hole threatens to destroy everything, and Timmy searches for a mystical hidden wand that can defeat the hole. Timmy then heads to a KISS concert, believing he may find the wand there. Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley provide voices. Friday at 8 on Nickelodeon.

“Star Wars: The Clone Wars” Yoda is ambushed by Count Dooku while on a mission to strike a deal with the king of Toydaria in the premiere episode of this series following Yoda, Anakin and the Jedi Knights as they fight in the Clone Wars and travel to many new planets. Friday at 9 on Cartoon.

“Paul Rodriguez & Friends: Comedy Rehab” Paul Rodriguez performs with fellow comics Shayla Rivera, Gene Pompa and Manny Maldonado. Friday at 11 on Comedy Central.

“The Best of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives” Host Guy Fieri looks back at favorite moments from his long road trip. Saturday at 8 on Food.

“Fairly OddParents” In Part 2 of 3, Timmy searches for a second wand that is necessary to defeat the Darkness. He must also continue to battle the Eliminators, who have now acquired new technology, and he's forced to rely on people he thought he couldn't trust. Saturday at 8 on Nickelodeon.

“Living Out Loud” Following her breast-cancer diagnosis, a high-school chorus teacher (Gail O'Grady) resumes writing music, a passion she abandoned after years of marriage and motherhood. In turn, her diagnosis brings her husband (Michael Shanks) closer to their children, whom he's neglected while pursuing his career. Babs Chula, Jessica Amlee and Alex Ferris also star. Directed by Anne Wheeler. Saturday at 9 on Hallmark.

“Cold Case” Part 1 of 2. The 2005 murder of a local military academy's first female cadet is reinvestigated. The probe reveals that the victim was cruelly treated by resentful male cadets and school administrators. The case causes Lilly to recall her own difficult journey to become the first female homicide detective in Philadelphia. The music of Pearl Jam is featured. Sunday at 9 on CBS.

“In Plain Sight” A witness has trouble handling her three wild kids, so Mary steps in to help. Cynthia Watros guest stars. Sunday at 10 on USA.

“Tough Love” The women invite a date on a romantic overnight getaway in the season finale. Sunday at 10 on VH1.

Backlash results

Dammit, dammit, dammit! I only managed a 3-3 record last night and only saw my record stay solid at 191-158. So to Jack Swagger, Matt Hardy, and CM Punk, damn you, damn you all. Cody Rhodes, Randy Orton, & Ted DiBiase; Edge; and Chris Jericho, thank you for saving my backside.

Backlash card & picks

WWE Championship - Six Man Tag Team Match
If Triple H's team wins, he retains the WWE Title
If Randy Orton's team wins, he wins the WWE Title
Triple H (c), Batista & Shane McMahon vs. Legacy (Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase)

WWE World Heavyweight Championship - Last Man Standing Match
John Cena (c) vs. Edge

ECW Championship Match
Jack Swagger (c) vs. Christian

"I Quit" Match
Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy

Chris Jericho vs. Ricky Steamboat

Kane vs. CM Punk

"Khali's Kiss Cam" with Santina

I'm currently holding 188-155 record with WWE PPVs. That's excellent and all, but I've been in a major funk these last few PPVs. Tonight, I plan on turning things around. Not to mention I'm hoping Santina, er, Santino Marella gets his/her/its ass handed to him/her/it tonight. As for the matches, I think I've got it all figured out who will win. I'm taking Cody Rhodes, Randy Orton, & Ted DiBiase; Edge; Jack Swagger; Matt Hardy; Chris Jericho; and CM Punk. Wish me luck.

WILF Wednesday to be canceled!

My back-up video guy just had his account canceled, so that leaves me feeling angry with rage. So, as I simmer down, I realize there is but one thing to put an end to WILF Wednesday. I'm sorry, it's very hard to keep up when so many videos are being pulled down and you can't keep track of which ones you need to replenish. I'm not completely finished with WILF Wednesday though. Two reasons. One, theassman345xxxo would probably come out with something new. Two, I need to close it out with a bang. All the hotties are coming back, and they've got some new ones coming in. I'm sorry guys, but you try getting mindscrewed with some bitchy YouTube flagger pulling down the videos of the world's sexiest women. It's a pain in the ass when all these quality videos go. But I guarentee that the final (for now) WILF Wednesday next week will be something to remember.

TiVo Guide Week of April 20, 2009 *spoiler alert*

“Super WHY!” Princess Pea's attempts to create a playhouse with a wave of her wand fail, so she and her Super Reader pals fly into the story of "Aladdin," where they meet a boy whose wishes come true thanks to a magic lamp. Monday at 9 on PBS.

“Chuck” Chuck and Sarah go AWOL in a stealthy quest to rescue Chuck's father (Scott Bakula), and they soon inch closer to one another while free from the governmental surveillance that usually eyes them. Meanwhile, Casey works to pinpoint their secret location. And Morgan turns into a Buy More outcast after he unwittingly gets Emmett promoted. Chevy Chase guest stars. Monday at 8 on NBC.

“Greek” Rusty is reluctant to be Andy's big brother because he's angry over Andy and Jordan's hookup. Elsewhere, Evan's brother, Patrick, visits and hits him up for money, and Casey and Rebecca think they've figured out who's been stealing the ZBZ food supply. Monday at 8 on ABC Family.

“Fringe” An actual suicide at New York City's Grand Central station is witnessed by Olivia---in Boston---in a dream, kicking off a baffling series of nightmares that may be linked to the ZFT manifesto, the drug Cortexiphan and her own childhood. Written and directed by Oscar-winning screenwriter Akiva Goldsman ("A Beautiful Mind"). Tuesday at 9:01 on Fox.

“Real Housewives of New York City” A sultry photo shoot involves Kelly, who goes before the cameras to pose for the photo invitation to her Halloween bash, which the other wives ultimately attend. Meanwhile, a shopping spree results when LuAnn's daughter arrives from boarding school. And Jill, in a radio interview, chats about the suffering American economy and its impact on the rich. Tuesday at 10 on Bravo.

“The Phone” The "Amazing Race"-like game show begins as four strangers receive a mysterious phone call, along with instructions to stop a fictional serial bomber in Seattle, in a quest for $50,000. Tuesday at 10 on MTV.

“Lie to Me” Cal's ex-wife (Jennifer Beals), an assistant U.S. attorney, hires him to get to the bottom of an arson case in which the victim accuses a childhood friend, who's now a famous TV reporter, of burning down his house. He bases the charge on the word of his 5-year-old son. Meanwhile, Foster and Torres investigate a drive-by shooting tied to a feud between rival rappers. Wednesday at 8 on Fox.

“Earth Report: State of the Planet” A report on the planet's environmental health analyzes 2008's biggest successes and disasters, from the devastating earthquake in China and the cyclone in Myanmar to advances in earthquake and hurricane detection. Wednesday at 8 on National Geographic.

“Criminal Minds” A serial killer preying on children is in custody, but the case takes a twist when it's discovered that one of the murders may have been committed by someone else. Wednesday at 10 on CBS.

“The Beast” In the first-season finale, Barker gets a break in a case he's followed his entire career, but never put to rest. He gets a list of six people involved in the crime, and he tries to find them before they find him. Thursday at 10 on A&E.

“Millionaire Matchmaker” Patti focuses on finding dates and mates for an Israel-born real-estate maven and a Kurdish-Iranian entrepreneur. But the latter surprises all by bringing in his large family to help him choose the right woman. Thursday at 10 on Bravo.

“Free Radio” Lance is reluctant to accept the truth about a superfan who has been sending him food, and Anna meets a new man on a dating Web site, making James jealous. The gang from "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," Danica McKellar and Corey Feldman are guests. Thursday at 11 on VH1.

“Ghost Whisperer” When a soap opera shoots scenes in Grandview, a young and restless ghost haunts the beautiful cast and causes trouble on the set. Grant Harper: Thad Luckinbill. Brook Dennis: Amelia Heinle. Friday at 8 on CBS.

“Dog Whisperer” Cesar meets one of his toughest cases, an extremely aggressive bulldog named Bella that's in the "red-zone" after living in a toxic environment for almost four years. Friday at 9 on National Geographic.

“NUMB3RS” Don is seriously injured during a raid while investigating a series of home invasions. His injury is due in large part to Charlie's flawed calculations used to profile the suspects. Friday at 10 on CBS.

“America’s Most Wanted” Cases include a mass murder in New Mexico: the bodies of more than 10 women and a fetus have been unearthed in a mass grave outside Albuquerque (two that have been identified were reported missing in 2004), triggering a hunt for a serial killer. Also: a report on alleged gang members wanted by the U.S. Marshals office. Saturday at 9 on Fox.

“Ashes to Ashes” Alex is just one day away from when her parents were murdered by a car bomb. With help from Ray, she races to save them and alter history, hoping it will get her back to the present day. Saturday at 9 on BBC America.

“Chasing a Dream” A high-school football player (Andrew Lawrence) copes with his best friend's death by training to run a sub-four-minute mile. But his quest puts him at odds with his father (Treat Williams) after he begins to neglect football. Joanna Going also stars. Directed by David Burton Morris. Saturday at 9 on Hallmark.

“TV Land Awards” Neil Patrick Harris hosts the seventh annual ceremony, which recognizes revered shows and stars from TV's past. This year's honorees include Don Rickles, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, "M*A*S*H," "Home Improvement," "Magnum, P.I." and "Knots Landing." Taped at the Gibson Amphitheatre in Los Angeles. Sunday at 8 on TV Land.

“100 Feet” Famke Janssen stars in this haunted-house tale about a woman who is sentenced to house arrest after she killed her abusive spouse in self-defense. Bobby Cannavale, Ed Westwick. Written and directed by Eric Red. Sunday at 9 on Sci Fi.

“Tracey Ullman’s State of the Union” Ullman portrays Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling on her "American litigation tour" in which she sets out to protect her copyrighted material, and actress Renee Zellweger, who's starring in a biopic of the novelist. Other characterizations include Miley Cyrus's country-singing granny and Lindsay Lohan's reality-show pitching mother, Dina Lohan. Sunday at 10 on Showtime.

WILF Wednesday's Breakout Hit

Hey, guys. Tom here again and it's time for another belated Wednesday. Pop quiz: Which hottie has the best argument for saying 2008 was their breakout year? Some might argue Lady Gaga, some would go with Ginnifer Goodwin, and others would say the most recent Bond Girl, Olga Kurylenko. Sure, they're all good picks, but how can you go against a woman raised more than a few eyebrows when she proclaimed that she kissed and a girl and she liked it? I don't think I need to go further into this. She's a BRIT Award winner. She's got massive breasts and a very sexy ass. She's Katy Perry.

MTV Movie Award finalists

Normally for the MTV Movie Awards, the fans vote for the winners, but this year, the fans can also choose who gets nominated. MTV posted their finalists for this year's show, and I can't decide who to vote for because of they picked nothing but quality finalists all around.

Best Movie
"The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
"The Dark Knight"
"Eagle Eye"
"Fast & Furious"
"Forgetting Sarah Marshall"
"Friday the 13th"
"Gran Torino"
"Hancock"
"Hannah Montana: The Movie"
"He's Just Not That Into You"
"High School Musical 3: Senior Year"
"I Love You, Man"
"Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull"
"Iron Man"
"Mamma Mia!"
"Marley and Me"
"Milk"
"Monsters vs. Aliens"
"Notorious"
"Observe and Report"
"Pineapple Express"
"Rachel Getting Married"
"Role Models"
"Sex and The City"
"Slumdog Millionaire"
"Taken"
"Tropic Thunder"
"Twilight"
"Wall-E"
"Wanted"
"Watchmen"
"The Wrestler"

Best Female Performance
Angelina Jolie "Wanted"
Anna Faris "Observe and Report"
Anne Hathaway "Get Smart"
Anne Hathaway "Rachel Getting Married"
Cameron Diaz "What Happens in Vegas"
Charlize Theron "Hancock"
Dakota Fanning "Push"
Freida Pinto "Slumdog Millionaire"
Gwyneth Paltrow "Iron Man"
Isla Fisher "Confessions Of A Shopaholic"
Jennifer Aniston "He's Just Not That Into You"
Jennifer Aniston "Marley & Me"
Julia Roberts "Duplicity"
Kate Hudson "Bride Wars"
Kate Winslet "The Reader"
Kristen Bell "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"
Kristen Stewart "Twilight"
Liv Tyler "The Incredible Hulk"
Maggie Gyllenhaal "The Dark Knight"
Malin Akerman "Watchmen"
Marisa Tomei "The Wrestler"
Michelle Monaghan "Eagle Eye"
Mila Kunis "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"
Miley Cyrus "Hannah Montana: The Movie"
Rashida Jones "I Love You, Man"
Reese Witherspoon "Four Christmases"
Reese Witherspoon "Monsters vs. Aliens"
Sarah Jessica Parker "Sex and The City"
Taraji P. Henson "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
Tina Fey "Baby Mama"

Best Male Performance
Ashton Kutcher "What Happens in Vegas"
Ben Stiller "Tropic Thunder"
Brad Pitt "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
Brendan Fraser "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor"
Chris Evans "Push"
Christian Bale "The Dark Knight"
Clint Eastwood "Gran Torino"
Clive Owen "Duplicity"
Daniel Craig "Quantum of Solace"
Dev Patel "Slumdog Millionaire"
Dwayne Johnson "Race to Witch Mountain"
Jackie Earle Haley "Watchmen"
James McAvoy "Wanted"
Jason Segel "I Love You, Man"
Keanu Reeves "The Day The Earth Stood Still"
Liam Neeson "Taken"
Mark Wahlberg "Max Payne"
Michael Cera "Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist"
Mickey Rourke "The Wrestler"
Owen Wilson "Marley & Me"
Paul Rudd "I Love You, Man"
Paul Walker "Fast & Furious"
Robert Downey Jr. "Iron Man"
Robert Pattinson "Twilight"
Sean Penn "Milk"
Seth Rogen "Observe and Report"
Shia LaBeouf "Eagle Eye"
Shia LaBeouf "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of The Crystal Skull"
Vin Diesel "Fast & Furious"
Vince Vaughn "Four Christmases"
Will Smith "Hancock"
Zac Efron "High School Musical 3: Senior Year"

Breakthrough Performance Female
Ahney Her "Gran Torino"
Amanda Seyfried "Mamma Mia!"
Camilla Belle "Push"
Emily Browning "The Uninvited"
Emma Stone "The House Bunny"
Emmanuelle Chriqui "You Don't Mess With the Zohan"
Freida Pinto "Slumdog Millionaire"
Ginnifer Goodwin "He's Just Not That Into You"
Kat Dennings "Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist"
Kristen Bell "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"
Kristen Stewart "Twilight"
Kristin Kreuk "Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li"
Lake Bell "What Happens In Vegas"
Maggie Grace "Taken"
Mila Kunis "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"
Miley Cyrus "Hannah Montana: The Movie"
Olga Kurylenko "Quantum of Solace"
Olivia Thirlby "The Wackness"
Rashida Jones "I Love You, Man"
Rhona Mitra "Underworld: Rise of the Lycans"
Teresa Palmer "Bedtime Stories"
Vanessa Anne Hudgens "High School Musical 3: Senior Year"

Breakthrough Performance Male
Anthony Mackie "Notorious"
Bee Vang "Gran Torino"
Ben Barnes "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian"
Bobb'e J. Thompson "Role Models"
Brandon T. Jackson "Tropic Thunder"
Clark Duke "Sex Drive"
Danny McBride "Pineapple Express"
David Kross "The Reader"
Dev Patel "Slumdog Millionaire"
Dominic Cooper "Mamma Mia!"
Hugh Dancy "Confessions of a Shopaholic"
Jamal Woolard "Notorious"
Jason Segel "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"
Jeffrey Dean Morgan "Watchmen"
Josh Peck "The Wackness"
Kevin James "Paul Blart: Mall Cop"
Kyle Gallner "The Haunting in Connecticut"
Nicholas D'Agosto "Fired Up!"
Patrick Wilson "Watchmen"
Robert Pattinson "Twilight"
Russel Brand "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"
Taylor Lautner "Twilight"
Trevor Moore "Miss March"
Zach Cregger "Miss March"

Best Comedic Performance
Adam Sandler "You Don't Mess With the Zohan"
Amy Poehler "Baby Mama"
Anna Faris "The House Bunny"
Anne Hathaway "Bride Wars"
Ben Stiller "Tropic Thunder"
Brad Pitt "Burn After Reading"
Eric Christian Olsen "Fired Up!"
Jack Black "Tropic Thunder"
James Franco "Pineapple Express"
Jason Segel "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"
Jason Segel "I Love You, Man"
Jim Carrey "Yes Man"
John C. Reilly "Step Brothers"
John Cho "Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay"
Kal Penn "Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay"
Kate Hudson "Bride Wars"
Kevin James "Paul Blart: Mall Cop"
Paul Rudd "I Love You, Man"
Paul Rudd "Role Models"
Robert Downey Jr. "Tropic Thunder"
Russell Brand "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"
Sean William Scott "Role Models"
Seth Rogen "Monsters vs. Aliens"
Seth Rogen "Observe and Report"
Seth Rogen "Pineapple Express"
Steve Carell "Get Smart"
Trevor Moore "Miss March"
Tyler Perry "Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail"
Vince Vaughn "Four Christmases"
Will Ferrell "Step Brothers"
Will Smith "Hancock"
Zach Cregger "Miss March"

Best Villain
Aishwarya Rai "The Pink Panther 2"
Amaury Nolasco "Max Payne"
Bill Nighy "Underworld: Rise of the Lycans"
Cam Gigandet "Twilight"
Cate Blanchett "Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull"
Ciaran Hinds "Race to Witch Mountain"
Derek Mears "Friday the 13th"
Djimon Hounsou "Push"
Dwayne Johnson "Get Smart"
Emily Browning "The Uninvited"
Gary Cole "Pineapple Express"
Heath Ledger "The Dark Knight"
Jeff Bridges "Iron Man"
Jeffrey Dean Morgan "Watchmen"
Jet Li "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor"
Johnathon Schaech "Prom Night"
Josh Brolin "Milk"
Keir O'Donnell "Paul Blart: Mall Cop"
Mathieu Amalric "Quantum of Solace"
Matthew Goode "Watchmen"
Richard John Walters "My Bloody Valentine 3-D"
Rob Schneider "You Don't Mess with the Zohan"
Samuel L. Jackson "Lakeview Terrace"
Samuel L. Jackson "The Spirit"
Tim Roth "The Incredible Hulk"

Best Kiss
Aaron Eckhart & Maggie Gyllenhaal "The Dark Knight"
Angelina Jolie & James McAvoy "Wanted"
Brad Pitt & Cate Blanchett "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"
Cameron Diaz & Ashton Kutcher "What Happens in Vegas"
Frieda Pinto & Dev Patel "Slumdog Millionaire"
Ginnifer Goodwin & Justin Long "He's Just Not That Into You"
Isla Fisher & Hugh Dancy "Confessions of a Shopaholic"
James Franco & Sean Penn "Milk"
Jason Segel & Mila Kunis "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"
Jim Carrey & Zooey Deschanel "Yes Man"
Josh Peck & Olivia Thirlby "The Wackness"
Kate Winslet & David Kross "The Reader"
Kristin Stewart & Robert Pattinson "Twilight"
Nicole Kidman & Hugh Jackman "Australia"
Patrick Wilson & Malin Akerman "Watchmen"
Paul Rudd & Thomas Lennon "I Love You, Man"
Paul Walker & Jordana Brewster "Fast & Furious"
Reese Witherspoon & Vince Vaughn "Four Christmases"
Sarah Jessica Parker & Chris Noth "Sex and The City"
Seth Rogen & Anna Faris "Observe and Report"
Seth Rogen & Elizabeth Banks "Zack and Miri Make a Porno"
Steve Carell & Anne Hathaway "Get Smart"
Steve Carell & Dwayne Johnson "Get Smart"
Tom Cruise & Carice Van Houten "Valkyrie"
Will Smith & Charlize Theron "Hancock"
Will Smith & Rosario Dawson "Seven Pounds"
Zach Cregger & Raquel Alessi "Miss March"

Best Fight
Anne Hathaway vs. Kate Hudson "Bride Wars"
Christian Bale vs. Heath Ledger "The Dark Knight"
Chris Evans vs. Neil Jackson "Push"
Daniel Craig vs. Mathieu Amalric "Quantum of Solace"
Edward Norton vs. Tim Roth "The Incredible Hulk"
Jack Black vs. Brandon Soo Hoo "Tropic Thunder"
James McAvoy vs. Dato Bakhtadze "Wanted"
Jeffrey Dean Morgan vs. Matthew Goode "Watchmen"
Jet Li vs. Jackie Chan "The Forbidden Kingdom"
Kevin James vs. Zele Avradopoulos "Paul Blart: Mall Cop"
King Peter vs. King Miraz "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian"
Liam Neeson vs. Qatari Client "Taken"
Patrick Wilson & Malin Akerman vs. Prison Gang "Watchmen"
Paul Walker vs. Vin Diesel "Fast & Furious"
Robert Downey Jr. vs. Jeff Bridges "Iron Man"
Robert Pattinson vs. Cam Gigandet "Twilight"
Ron Perlman vs. Luke Goss "Hellboy II: The Golden Army"
Samuel L. Jackson vs. Patrick Wilson "Lakeview Terrace"
Seth Rogen & James Franco vs. Danny McBride "Pineapple Express"
Seth Rogen vs. Ray Liotta "Observe and Report"
Steve Carell vs. Dwayne Johnson "Get Smart"
Steve Martin vs. Kids "The Pink Panther 2"
Vince Vaughn vs. Jon Favreau "Four Christmases"
Will Ferrell vs. John C. Reilly "Step Brothers"
Will Smith vs. Charlize Theron "Hancock"

Best WTF Moment
Amy Poehler "Baby Mama" When she can't 'unlock' the toilet, Amy Poehler pees in a sink.
Angelina Jolie "Wanted" Angelina Jolie kills all of her adversaries, and herself, with a single bullet.
Ari Graynor "Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist" Ahhh! Ari Graynor chews gum that she fished out of a bowl of her own puke!
Ayush Maheseh Khedekar "Slumdog Millionaire" Ayush Maheseh Khedekar (Young Jamal) takes a mud bath... in an outhouse. Get it?
Ben Stiller "Tropic Thunder" Deeply believing his role, Ben Stiller licks a decapitated head.
Bill Crudup "Watchmen" Billy Crudrup is fully nude throughout 'The Watchmen!'
Erik J. Berg "The Haunting in Connecticut" Green goo oozes out of Erik J. Berg's mouth. Totally normal.
Jason Segel & Kristen Bell "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" Breaking up is hard to do... especially when you're completely naked.
Kal Penn & Danneel Harris "Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay" Who hasn't imagined a threesome with Danneel Harris and a huge bag of weed?
Kwan Fung Chi & Jacky Heung "Push" 'Bleeders' Kwan Fung Chi and Jacky Heung blow up buildings just by screaming!
Mickey Rourke & Necro Butcher "The Wrestler" Mickey Rourke and Necro Butcher introduce staple guns into the ring.
Nicholas D'Agosto & Eric Christian Olsen "Fired Up!" Male cheerleaders bounce through their routines completely naked!
Paul Rudd & Jon Favreau "I Love You, Man" In a beer chugging contest gone wrong, pretty boy Paul Rudd pukes on Jon Favreau.
Trevor Moore & Madison Riley "Miss March" Dog pees in champagne glass. Nudie centerfold drinks it. Nuff said.

TiVo Guide Week of April 13, 2009 *spoiler alert*

“The Big Bang Theory” Penny is romanced by a friend of the guys' while at a comic-book store. Meanwhile, Leonard and Wolowitz search for love at a bar's ladies' night. Monday at 8 on CBS.

“Heroes” Angela delves into her past and reveals long-held secrets. Elsewhere, Mohinder finds out that his dad was involved in an old government operation. Monday at 9 on NBC.

“Medium” When a shooter guns down Allison and Devalos, Allison awakens five years earlier in her own past---and nine months pregnant with third child Marie. Now in 2004, Allison's weaving dreams inform her that an innocent man will be convicted of murder, so she works to clear his good name. Monday at 10 on NBC.

“Biggest Loser: Couples” The players receive makeovers with guidance from Tim Gunn, Tabatha Coffey and Brandon Martinez. Elsewhere, a player sustains an injury that will affect her workouts, and the contestants reach new heights in the challenge. Tuesday at 8 on NBC.

“90210” Donna Martin (Tori Spelling) shocks Kelly and Silver with a surprise visit. While in town, Donna agrees to design a dress for Oscar-winning screenwriter Diablo Cody (playing herself). Elsewhere, Annie and Dixon revisit Dixon's past over spring break; and Ethan, Naomi and Liam volunteer for Habitat for Humanity. Tuesday at 9 on The CW.

“Pretty Wicked” The women are under fire when they perform comic roasts of one another---but some may not take kindly to the hurling insults. Tuesday at 10 on Oxygen.

“America’s Next Top Model” Ciara surprises the models at their apartment and they join her on stage for a photo shoot. At panel, Tyra reveals the overseas location. Wednesday at 8 on The CW.

“Bones” When a bride-to-be's body is found in a bundle of compressed cardboard at a recycling facility, Brennan and Booth use records from a cell-phone dating service to search for suspects from a long list of potential suitors. Meanwhile, Sweets' girlfriend, Daisy, is spotted shopping for a wedding dress. Wednesday at 8 on Fox.

“Bravo’s A-List Awards” Kathy Griffin hosts the second annual gala, which salutes artistic spirits in pop culture and various creative fields, including fashion, beauty, design and cuisine. Recorded April 5, 2009, at the Orpheum Theatre in Los Angeles. Wednesday at 10 on Bravo.

“Samantha Who?” Sam goes into debt after losing big in Las Vegas, but running into her ex-boss, billionaire Winston Funk (Billy Zane), may get her out of a jam. Meanwhile, Dena and Andrea ask favors of each other. Thursday at 8:30 on ABC.

“CSI: Crime Scene Investigation” Hodges and Wendy run into one another at a science-fiction convention, where they investigate a beloved actor's murder. Thursday at 9 on CBS.

“30 Rock” Saddled with a suspension from work, a lost Liz misses all the "TGS" chaos and seeks a way to bide her time. Meanwhile, film bigwigs mull over pulling the plug on Jenna's Janis Joplin movie, so Jack and Jenna try (just a little bit harder) to stir up buzz. Thursday at 9:31 on NBC.

“Suite Life on Deck” Zack falls for a girl with amnesia who may be a mermaid; Cody organizes a "green" initiative on the ship when he realizes how many towels are being used by passengers. Friday at 8 on Disney.

“SpongeBob SquarePants” While stranded on a remote island, SpongeBob and his pals seek out surf guru Jack Kahuna Laguna (voice of Johnny Depp), hoping he can teach them how to surf "The Big One"---a challenging wave that will transport them home. Friday at 8 on Nickelodeon.

“Prison Break” Michael and Sara hitchhike to Miami, and Lincoln meets with Christina (Kathleen Quinlan), who tells him of her plan to take over the Company and warns him not to meddle in it. Meanwhile, a new foe challenges Pad Man, and T-Bag and Self find something they weren't expecting when they search for Scylla. Friday at 9 on Fox.

“Grey Gardens” Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange headline this fact-based drama centered on two eccentric relatives of Jackie Kennedy-Onassis who served as the subject of David and Albert Maysles' similarly titled 1975 documentary. The film tells the story of Big Edie and Little Edie, the aunt and cousin of Kennedy-Onassis respectively. The reclusive socialites made headlines when the health department threatened to raid their flea-and-raccoon-infested East Hampton, N.Y., mansion in the early 1970s. Saturday at 8 on HBO.

“Flying By” A real-estate developer (Billy Ray Cyrus) reunites with his old band and rediscovers his passion for music. Soon, he faces a difficult choice: pursue his musical dreams or give them up for the sake of his family and career. Heather Locklear also stars. Saturday at 8 on LMN.

“The Locator” A man looks for his brother, who was given up for adoption by their mother when she was a teenager. Despite his mom's wishes to keep her firstborn out of the family, her younger son wants to establish a relationship with his long-lost brother. Saturday at 9 on WE.

“Sit Down, Shut Up” In the pilot of the animated comedy about dysfunctional high-school faculty in a northeastern fishing town, Knob Haven High has money problems, and the pressure is on to win the big football game and spur alumni donations. Meanwhile, pills confiscated from a student's locker put the "vice" in vice principal when they become part of his daily regimen. Sunday at 8:30 on Fox.

“Desperate Housewives” The housewives reminisce about Edie: Susan recalls the first time they met; Lynette looks back on a night to remember; Gaby remembers a night of friendly competition; and Bree is reminded of her thoughtfulness toward Orson. Sunday at 9 on ABC.

“Knights of Bloodsteel” Part 1 of 2. A vigilante (David James Elliott) unites five unlikely heroes to protect a magic metal called Bloodsteel, a precious resource that's been squandered. Now, an outlaw, an elf wizard, a con man, a goblin and a bounty hunter fight to preserve the commodity. Christopher Lloyd, Natassia Malthe, Dru Viergever, Christopher Jacot. Sunday at 9 on Sci Fi.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the third round of The Masters

The Hero: Angel Cabrera, the 2007 U.S. Open winner, put himself in contention for a second major by making three birdies on the back nine and a tough par on the final hole for a 3-under 69 and a share of the lead.
The Goat: Padraig Harrington, the 2008 British Open and PGA Championship winner, saw his hopes of a third straight major end on the second hole when he twice hit a tree and took a quadruplebogey 9. He shot a 73 and was 10 shots back.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the second round of The Masters

The Hero: Kenny Perry shot a five-under 67 in to pull even atop the leader board with Chad Campbell at nine-under 135. At 48 years, 8 months, he could become the oldest Masters winner.
The Goat: Zach Johnson, the 2007 Masters winner, shot an eight-over par 80 to go from five shots back after one round to missing the cut.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the first round of The Masters

The Hero: C'mon, make some noise for 73-year-old Gary Player, making his 52nd and final appearance. Who among the duffers here wouldn't be tickled with the 78 he shot Thursday.
The Goats: Phil Mickelson struggled with an errant driver and shot 73, as did Sergio Garcia.

WILF Wednesday with yet another return

Alright guys, the reason some of the videos aren't working is not because theassman345xxxo is pulling them down. It's that (mainly female) fans of these celebrities are offended and flagging them. Those stupid idiots! Don't they know that the hot female celebrity body is God's most perfect creation? I mean, how dare they flag down his video of Eva Mendes! Oh, and speaking of whom, I decided to use a new video of her.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Michigan State vs. North Carolina game

The Hero: Roy Williams. The coach of the Tar Heels wins by getting the best players and putting them together. Ellington was outstanding in the first half. Ed Davis came off the bench to explode. Ty Lawson had seven steals -- at halftime. Hansbrough produced the game he has copyrighted the last four years. Even Tom Izzo can't scheme against a whole team.
The Goats: The NBA's general managers, for not endorsing half of Carolina's team when they were deciding last spring whether to go pro. That was enough to bury the rest of the nation.

TiVo Guide Week of April 6, 2009 *spoiler alert*

“The Hills” Lauren is thrown a surprise birthday party in the Season 5 opener, and she's none-too-pleased when Stephanie brings Heidi along. Monday at 10 on MTV.

“Saving Grace” The romance between Doug (Chris Mulkey) and Maggie (Kathy Baker) flowers so much that the couple sets a wedding date---but the big day is jeopardized when Maggie is attacked by a mysterious predator. Meanwhile, Leon's execution date draws near as Johnny and Rhetta passionately try to save him via a petition. And young Clay continues bonding with Leon's son (Malcolm David Kelley). Monday at 10 on TNT.

“It’s the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown; Charlie Brown All Stars!” From 1974: Linus is convinced that the "Easter Beagle" will come with baskets of goodies on Easter morning, but his pals make their own preparations. Also (from 1966): "The Charlie Brown All Stars!" take the field---and leave it as losers, as usual. So everyone quits the team. His luck changes when a store owner offers to sponsor the team. That and the promise of uniforms lure everyone back. But there's one problem: girls (Lucy) and dogs (Snoopy) aren't allowed. Tuesday at 8 on ABC.

“Rescue Me” In the fifth-season opener, Tommy deals with his father's death and a new man (Michael J. Fox) in Janet's life. He also finds that Chief Feinberg, who has initiated a Section 8 procedure against him, is being surprisingly nice to him. Meanwhile, Sheila finds a new way to handle her problems; Colleen has a new boyfriend; and Sean, Franco and Mike devise a surefire way to gain riches and plenty of sex from the money Mike inherited from his mother. Tuesday at 10 on FX.

“Lost” Ben needs to atone for his past sins, so he tries to summon the smoke monster to pass judgment. Alex: Tania Raymonde. Young Danielle Rousseau: Melissa Farman. Wednesday at 9 on ABC.

“Criminal Minds” The team travels to South Padre Island, Texas, where a serial killer is targeting students on spring break. Adam: Jackson Rathbone. Det. Evans: Roma Maffia. Wednesday at 9 on CBS.

“CSI: Crime Scene Investigation” Nick investigates a skydiver's death, and Catherine discovers a possible connection between the victim and a puzzling double-murder case. Thursday at 9 on CBS.

“Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire” In the premiere of this sword-and-sorcerer farce, freedom fighter Krod Mandoon (Sean Maguire) reluctantly fulfills an ancient prophecy to lead the resistance against a corrupt regime's evil ruler, Chancellor Dongalor (Matt Lucas). Mandoon is aided by a band of trusty allies, including beautiful pagan warrior Aneka, the warlock Zezelryck and a half-human, half-swine servant, Loquasto. Thursday at 10 on Comedy Central.

“Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!” Wubbzy and his pals get their candy requests ready for the Easter Bunny, but then are shocked to hear that Easter has been canceled; Wubbzy wants to participate in the Flower Day Parade, but when he practices various skills, none of them work out. Friday at 1:30 on Nickelodeon.

“The Age of Believing: The Disney Live Action Classics” A look at Disney's live-action feature films includes interviews with actors Kurt Russell, Dean Jones, Dick Van Dyke, Lesley Ann Warren, Michele Lee and Tim Conway, plus studio executive Roy E. Disney and author-critics Leonard Maltin and Richard Schickel. There are also comments by former child stars Karen Dotrice and Kim Richards. Narrated by Angela Lansbury. Friday at 6:30 on TCM.

“iCarly” Sam develops a crush on a classmate, so Carly gives her lessons on how to attract him by acting feminine. Meanwhile, Spencer starts sporting his tuxedo daily because he thinks it's the reason why a woman he met likes him. Saturday at 8 on Nickelodeon.

“Naked Brothers Band” As the band's movie premiere nears, Nate has his choice of dates. But the event itself doesn't go off without a hitch: Someone with a grudge vows to ruin the band's big night, and Rosalina demands her spot back---after a new bassist has been hired. Saturday at 9 on Nickelodeon.

“Family Guy” Lois gets a job as a cable-news reporter. Her first assignment: an exposé of a certain liberal documentary filmmaker who's usually seen wearing a baseball cap. Meanwhile, Peter and Chris dream up a cartoon show to pitch to a network. Sunday at 9 on Fox.

“The Tudors” Henry sends Charles Brandon (Henry Cavill) to deal with the Catholic uprising; and while confined to bed due to an old jousting injury, the King takes a new mistress, Lady Ursula Misseldon (Charlotte Salt). Sunday at 9 on Showtime.

WrestleMania XXV resutls

GAWD! WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?! I was expecting an excellent showing for my picks last night, and I was throughly disappointed. I managed a meager 3-5 performance, reducing my record to 188-155 (found a win that I accidentally counted for myself and a loss that shouldn't have happened because it wasn't an official match). So thanks for sparing me the humiliation, Triple H, Rey Mysterio, and Chris Jericho. As for Edge, Shawn Michaels, Jeff Hardy, Montel Vontavious Porter, and Melina, I don't feel comfortable picking you clowns again until you rack up some wins (Note: I did not include the Carlito & Primo vs. John Morrison & The Miz match since the show did not air as part of the pay-per-view. Also, I stuck with Melina even after it was clear that Mae Young and Nidia would not be getting involved and instead were replaced by just Joy Giovanni, not that her presence had any effect on the card). Well, maybe come Backlash, things will get better.

WrestleMania XXV card & picks

WWE Championship
Triple H (c) vs. Randy Orton

World Title
Edge (c) vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Intercontinental Title
JBL (c) vs. Rey Mysterio

WWE & World Tag-Titles
Lumberjack Match
The Miz & John Morrison (c) vs. The Colons (c)

Undefeated Streak On The Line
Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

Extreme Rules Match
Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy

3-On-1 Handicap Match
(Mickey Rourke, Ric Flair at Ringside)
Chris Jericho vs. "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat and Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka

Money In The Bank Ladder Match
Christian vs Finlay (w/ Hornswoggle) vs Mark Henry (w/ Tony Atlas) vs Montel Vontavioius Porter vs Kane vs Shelton Benjamin vs CM Punk vs Kofi Kingston

25-Diva Battle Royal
Tiffany, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, Beth Phoenix, Layla, Jillian Hall, Alicia Fox, Michelle McCool, Maryse, Mickie James, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, Natayla, Rosa Mendez, Gail Kim, Melina, Katie Lea, Maria, Mae Young, Santino Marella, Torrie Wilson, Jackie Gayda, Nidia, Victoria and Sunny

I am literally chomping on my nails thinking about picking this PPV. WrestleMania has not been kind to me in the past, and I hope XXV is the one that I can turn things around. As my record as shrunk to 186-151, I need to be as careful as possible making my picks. With that being said, I am selecting Triple H, Edge, Rey Mysterio, John Morrison & The Miz, Shawn Michaels, Jeff Hardy, Chris Jericho, Montel Vontavious Porter, and Melina. Wish me luck!

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Michigan State vs. Connecticut game

The Hero: Morgan. After having only three double-figure games since mid-January and none over 13 points, the junior finished with 18 points, nine rebounds and five steals. He was aggressive in the paint even with his broken nose and showed no signs of the sluggishness that befell him for weeks.
The Goats: UConn guards. A.J. Price shot 5-for-20, Craig Austrie scored only six points, and Kemba Walker was 1-for-5 with four turnovers and four fouls.

From the Villanova vs. North Carolina game

The Hero: Danny Green. North Carolina sent three three-point daggers through Villanova in the second half. Each time it looked like Wildcats might mount a comeback, Green drained a triple, letting the wind out of the Wildcats' sails. Green finished with 12 points, all on three-pointers.
The Goat: Scottie Reynolds. The savior of the Wildcats' wild regional championship victory over Pitt with his mad dash to the basket in the final seconds couldn't get anything to drop for him Saturday. He only made 3-of-11 three-point attempts.

WILF Wednesday returns to Italy

Hey guys. I know what you're thinking. No, I don't have any April Fool's jokes planned at all. All I got for you is WILF Wednesday. And since theassman345xxxo put her video back up, I think it's time to once again indulge in the hotness of Monica Bellucci. Shall we?