TiVo Guide Week of June 30, 2008 *spoiler alert*

"The Bachlorette: The Men Tell All" Fifteen of DeAnna's suitors (including Robert and Fred, who both struck out on the same two-on-one date) dish with---and about---the Bachelorette who let them get away. The guys also predict which of the two finalists will succeed where they have failed. Rounding out the hour: clips and outtakes from the contest so far. Monday at 9 on ABC.

"The Mole" The players must work together to be rescued from the freezing cold. Meanwhile, the most well-liked player becomes the most hated. Monday at 10 on ABC.

"Jo and Slade: The Break Up" A sneak preview of the reality show "Date My Ex: Jo & Slade" tracks the highs and woes of Jo De La Rosa and Slade Smiley's complex romance. Both were featured in the sudsy reality romp "The Real Housewives of Orange County." Monday at 10 on Bravo.

"The Secret Life of the American Teenager" In the series premiere, 15-year-old Amy (Shailene Woodley) finds herself facing an unexpected pregnancy after a onetime hookup at band camp with Ricky, the school cad. Then she meets nice guy Ben, who's so enamored with her that he joins the band. Elsewhere, popular cheerleader Grace starts wearing an abstinence promise ring to show her commitment to her Christian values, causing much anxiety for her boyfriend, Jack. Tuesday at 8 on ABC Family.

"After the Catch" Captains and crew recall close calls; a cameraman stationed with the Coast Guard shares rescue footage. Tuesday at 10 on Discovery.

"Rescue Me Minisode" Tommy's erotic dream takes a turn for the worse, much to the delight of his firehouse bunkmates. Tuesday at 10 on FX.

"So You Think You Can Dance" The Top 14 dancers perform. Wednesday at 8 on Fox.

"Baby Borrowers" Teen couples live a lifetime in three weeks by taking on adult responsibilities, including caring for infants, teens and senior citizens and holding down jobs. In the series opener, the five couples go through the final stage of pregnancy as each girl sports a fake belly. Then, the newborns arrive. Wednesday at 8 on NBC.

"She's Got the Look" The five remaining contestants prepare to act in a commercial with a surprise guest. Also: Challenge winners are rewarded with visits from their families and friends. Wednesday at 10 on TV Land.

"Last Comic Standing" A crop of comedic talent performs in Las Vegas in Week 2 of the semifinals. Richard Belzer and Steve Schirripa are the talent scouts. Thurdsay at 8 on NBC.

"Swingtown" Against Bruce's wishes, Susan attends a fund-raiser at the Decker's house to benefit an actor who is in legal trouble due to his appearance in a controversial movie. Thursday at 10 on CBS.

"Fear Itself" A rookie policewoman is assigned to guard a serial killer and soon realizes her fellow officers are not who they appear to be. Elisabeth Moss and Stephen R. Hart star. Directed by Stuart Gordon. Thursday at 10 on NBC.

"Good Morning America" Chaka Khan performs. Also: summer recipes by chefs Sunny Anderson, Martha Hall Foose and Tim Love. Friday at 7 on ABC.

"Macy's 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular" Natalie Morales and Tiki Barber anchor coverage of Manhattan's annual fireworks display, ignited by performances by Natasha Bedingfield, Gavin DeGraw, Kenny Chesney, and "American Idol" songstresses Katharine McPhee and Jordin Sparks. The New York Pops, conducted by Rob Fisher, add musical firepower to the night's theme, "America Dances," featuring patriotic tunes and classic dance songs. Friday at 9 on NBC.

"Boston Pops Fireworks Spectacular" Rascal Flatts performs with the Boston Pops, under the direction of conductor Keith Lockhart, at the Charles River Esplanade during the 35th annual Independence Day celebration. Craig Ferguson is the host. The finale includes an explosive fireworks display accompanied by the "1812 Overture." Friday at 10 on CBS.

"Tour de France:Stage 1" The annual event gets under way with Stage 1, a 197.5km leg from Brest to Plumelec. This year's race features 21 stages covering 3500km before ending in Paris on July 27. Saturday at 8:30 on VS.

"Law & Order: Criminal Intent Marathon" A 14-episode block of the crime drama. Saturday at 9 on USA.

"Cops" Kansas City, Mo., cops answer a "shots fired" call; Las Vegas officers deal with a dispute over a bed; and a K-9 unit sniffs out dope in Portland, Ore. Saturday at 8 on Fox.

"Hannah Montana" Miley and Jackson plan a last-minute birthday party for their dad after they realize he's turning 40; Lilly and Oliver try to sell a potato chip shaped like Darth Vader, but Rico claims it belongs to him since it was discovered in a bag bought at his food stand. Sunday at 8 on Disney.

"Next Food Network Star" Contestants are paired with Girl Scouts, for whom they must create healthy, tasty meals. Then, they show off the dishes in front of a live studio audience on the "Rachael Ray" show. Sunday at 10 on Food.

"Army Wives" Trevor is uneasy with his new hero status; Frank is concerned about Denise, who is enamored with her new motorcycle; and Joan's maternity-leave replacement arrives. Sunday at 10 on Lifetime.

Night of Champions results

Alright! I went a highly successful 5-3 at Night of Champions predictions. My record is still astronomically high, now at 156-124. Just as a note, I had to toss Natalya vs. TBA for the WWE Diva's Championship because, well, it never happened. But was I on fire last night. And it was all thanks to Triple H, Edge, John Morrison & The Miz, Matt Hardy, and Mickie James. As for Kane, Cody Rhodes & Hardcore Holly, and Chris Jericho, go do something productive, ya bums. Seriously, Cody Rhodes turning on Hardcore Holly and becoming Ted DeBiase's mystery partner surprised me, but now when I look at the wrestling news sites, I should have seen it coming. And I was still comfortable picking Chris Jericho over Kofi Kingston. Damn you, HBK! Well, another great pay-per-view for me and my crystal ball. Next up, the Great American Bash.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the fourth round of the Buick Open

The Hero: Kenny Perry. The 47-year-old turns in a vintage performance by holing a bunker shot on the 14th hole for eagle and winning his second Buick Open.
The Goat: Daniel Chopra. Wow! A 40 on the front nine? At Warwick? By the Swedish leader? Could be time to change his name officially to Choke-ra.

Night of Champions card & picks

Triple Threat match for the ECW Championship: Kane (c) vs. Big Show vs. Mark Henry

WWE Championship: Triple H (c) vs. John Cena

World Tag Team Championship: Hardcore Holly and Cody Rhodes (c) vs. Ted DeBiase and TBA

World Heavyweight Championship: Edge (c) vs. Batista

WWE Diva's Championship: Natalya vs. TBA (This match will inaugurate SmackDown's WWE Diva's Championship by determining the first champion)

WWE Tag Team Championship: John Morrison and The Miz (c) vs. Finlay and Hornswoggle

WWE United State Championship: Matt Hardy (c) vs. Chavo Guerrero

WWE Women's Championship: Mickie James (c) vs. Katie Lea Burchill

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Chris Jericho (c) vs. TBA (Jericho was orginally supossed to face Shawn Michaels, but Michaels was injured by Jericho a few weeks before the event. It is unknown whether an Intercontinental Championship match will take place)

Before I begin, this is my 400th post! *pulls string that drops ballons and confetti in celebration* Now, with a record of 151-121, I'm really looking forward to a lot of success, just like at last year's Vengeance: Night of Champions. And I will insure my success by picking Kane, Triple H, Cody Rhodes & Hardcore Holly (subject to change), Edge, Natalya (subject to change), John Morrison & The Miz, Matt Hardy, Mickie James, and Chris Jericho (subject to change). Wish me luck, and I'll be enjoying by 400th post by downing as much Pepsi as I can. *blows on a noisemaker*

313's Heroes and Goats

From the third round of the Buick Open

The Hero: Daniel Chopra. Another fine round puts him in the lead and proves, above all else, that blonds really do have more fun.
The Goat: Bo Van Pelt. Yikes! A 73 from the second-round leader? Heck, even Scott Van Pelt could have done better than that.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the second round of the Buick Open

The Hero: Bo Van Pelt. The journeyman is off to his best 36-hole start at 12 under. At least he knows Greg Kraft won't catch him this time.
The Goat: Woody Austin. It's hard to criticize a guy who shoots 67. But when he's six under through six holes, you have to consider the round a wasted opportunity.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the first round of the Buick Open

The Hero: Corey Pavin. The poster boy for short hitters on the PGA Tour sure showed me that driving sometimes is all for show.
The Goat: John Daly. C'mon, J.D., a 72 in the first round? Hope you didn't do too much post-round celebrating with Kid Rock after the pro-am.

WILF Wednesday Week 14

What's up, world? 313 is back here and you know what it is time for. Time for me to show just how excellent a human being Keith Olbermann is. Just kidding. You know that's physically impossible. No, it's WILF Wednesday! And my, oh my, what a hottie I have for you today, courtesy of theassman345xxxo (keep up the good work, man). Today's woman is known a little bit in the mainstream, but underground, she's a favorite. She started out doing some softcore porn bits, from "Province 77" to a threesome on "Hotel Erotica" to a lesbian scene with Belinda Glavin from "American Gladiators" in "Roommate Wanted". She's done many fetish films under the alias Mackenzie Montgomery. Her model-like looks earned her a photoshoot as a foot fetish model in FM Magazine, an appearance in FLEX, posing with bouncing cars in Lowrider Magazine, and even earned a spot as the Cyber Girl of the Week in the June 2002 issue of Playboy. Of course, like many models with her kind of body, she went on to do TV shows, including "7th Heaven" and "Party of Five", as well as mainstream movies like "Tomcats", "Anger Management", and "A Man Apart". But then, it was on the big time. The WWE. In 2004, she was selected as a finalist in the inaugural WWE Diva Search. Even though she failed to finish in the top ten, the WWE really saw something in her, and decided to keep her. She wound up competing in the traditional non-match Diva contests, such as lingerie and bikini contests. Only soon after did she make a big splash, because in 2005, during Super Bowl XXXIX, she went on a commercial for a now-popular domain website, GoDaddy.com. Her parody of Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction from the previous year's halftime show was an instant hit (and how!). In fact, her appearances in GoDaddy.com commercials during the Super Bowl are now a staple of the show, despite this year's being banned by Fox (you can still find it online). But just because she was an overnight celebrity thanks to that commercial, she hadn't inflated her ego and thought she was too bog for the WWE. She started competing full time as a Superstar, not afraid to get physical against some of the best, including future WWE Hall of Famers Lita and Trish Stratus. Every match, you would see visiable improvement in her in-ring work. Her status earned her a cover shot and nude set for the April 2006 Playboy. Her hard work finally paid off when, at WWE Vengeance: Night of Champions, she defeated Melina to win her first-ever WWE Women's Championship. Impressively, she held on to the title for four months. Sadly, when she tried to regain the title from the woman who beat her for it, Beth Phoenix, she was accidentally pushed off the top rope by Phoenix, causing her to land awakardly, forcing a quick end to the match, and seeing her carted off on a stretcher. While some were concerned she had been killed, she was concious the whole time and even sat up backstage. Turned out to be a fractured shoulder bone. She attempted a comeback in March, but in her first match back, she reaggravated her injury. But she's scheduled to be back in later this summer, possibly early this fall. When she is back, I know she will return to the full-time ass-kicker she is. And it's not just her in-ring skills that are impressive. She's got jugs that just seem like they can't even find in your hand. And on top of that, she has an ass that practically yells, "SPANK ME, BABY!" And you know what? Given her past softcore performances and her sexual behavior on WWE television, I wouldn't be surprised if she was a full-blown nympho. She's hot. She's erotic. She's funny. She's athletic. She's Candice Michelle.

TiVo Guide Week of June 23, 2008 *spoiler alert*

"The Bachlorette" DeAnna meets her final four on their home courts when she meets their families. One dinner is disturbingly tense, another's family warns her not to be a heartbreaker, and a third guy's mother is surprisingly candid. The fourth guy's family goes out of the way to make her feel at home---Greek feast included---but she wonders whether it's the bachelor or his family she finds so appealing. At the wrenching rose ceremony, one guy must go home again while the other three prepare for overnight dates. Monday at 8 on ABC.

"Nashville Star" The 10 remaining acts are whittled down by one after the contestants offer up country versions of pop tunes. Monday at 9 on NBC.

"I Love the New Millenium" An eight-part series featuring stars reminiscing about pop-culture phenomena of the new millennium begins with the year 2000. Monday at 9 on VH1.

"BET Awards '08" D.L. Hughley hosts the eighth annual gala, which honors stars in music, entertainment and sports. Al Green receives the BET Lifetime Achievement Award, and Quincy Jones is presented with the BET Humanitarian Award. Scheduled performers include Usher; Lil Wayne; Nelly; Alicia Keys; Kanye West; Chris Brown; and Young Jeezy. From the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles. Tuesday at 8 on BET.

"I Survived a Japanese Game Show" An elimination contest follows 10 Americans as they compete in a zany Japanese game show. In the opener, contestants must eat food from a plate perched on the head of a teammate running in place on a treadmill, and "launch" themselves into a giant replica of an auto windshield while dressed in bug costumes. Tony Sano is the series host; Rome Kanda hosts the game show. Tuesday at 9 on ABC.

"Rescue Me Minisode" A series of five-minute mini episodes begins with Sean struggling to keep his fast in the face of Lou's very tempting homemade doughnuts. Tuesday at 10 on FX.

"So You Think You Can Dance" The Top 16 dancers perform. Wednesday at 8 on Fox.

"MonsterQuest" Stories of supposed giant snakes capable of eating humans and large animals are investigated during treks to Venezuela and the Florida Everglades. Wednesday at 9 on History.

"Shear Genius" In the Season 2 opener, 12 hairstylists meet and greet one another before being challenged to style hair while wearing blindfolds. They must also interpret memorable coiffures of famed cartoon characters. Kim Vo and Kelly Atterton are the lead judges, while Jaclyn Smith hosts. Wednesday at 10 on Bravo.

"Instant Star" In the series finale, Jude is faced with a tough decision when she's offered a recording contract in London just as her relationship with Tommy is heating up again. Thursday at 8 on The N.

"My Boys" Mike, Kenny, Brendan and Bobby compete in a contest to create the best shirt. The tight-knit boys are on pins and needles, for the stakes are high: The winner receives free drinks for a month. Elsewhere, PJ hopes to author a book about a baseball player; Andy spends long hours at his job; and Brendan sets out to become a bartender. Thursday at 9:30 on TBS.

"Fear Itself" A bride (Maggie Lawson) receives a mysterious note on her wedding day accusing her groom (James Roday) of being a serial killer. Directed by John Landis. Christie Laing, Sonja Bennett and Marshall Bell also star. Thursday at 10 on NBC.

"Wonder Pets!" Tuck finds an alien in the classroom and befriends the creature, who must leave before being stuck on Earth. Later, Ming-Ming is afraid to go underground to visit her friend Ollie for a sleep-over. Friday at 10 on Nickelodeon.

"Dance Machine" Regular folks compete in a series of one-on-one dance contests set to popular tunes in the series opener of this reality show. Studio audience members vote on who gets eliminated, paring six hopefuls down until one is crowned the night's winner. Jason Kennedy hosts. Friday at 8 on ABC.

"Doctor Who" Donna loses her memory and leads a fast-paced life in a virtual world while the Doctor faces the Vashta Nerada with River Song, who reveals things about his future. Friday at 9 on Sci Fi.

"Groomer Has It" The remaining groomers prepare for their final challenge, grooming seven dogs in 10 hours. Saturday at 9 on Animal Plan.

"Robin Hood" A mortally wounded messenger from King Richard arrives with news for Robin from the Holy Land. Saturday at 9 on BBC America.

"Copperhead" A mass of copperhead snakes besiege an old mining town in the West. Brad Johnson, Billy Drago, Wendy Carter. Directed by Todor Chapkanov. Saturday at 9 on Sci Fi.

"Human Spider" A documentary profiling intrepid free-climber Alain Robert, aka "Spider-Man," as he attempts to scale some of the world's tallest buildings using no rope or safety equipment. Sunday at 10 on BBC America.

"Army Wives" Denise befriends a soldier who encourages her to ride a motorcycle; Roland is offered a high-school-counseling position; Roxy takes a job at a shrimp pier; Joan reveals her condition to her troops; and Trevor becomes a hero. Sunday at 10 on Lifetime.

"Factory" An untimely death at the factory pits four coworkers against each other as they vie for the new opening in the inaugural episode of the sitcom series. Sunday at 10 on Spike.

TiVo Guide update

I thought I should let you guys know that the TiVo Guide is getting an update next week. For the most part, each day will have three shows, for a total of 21 shows per week. It could be more with multiple airings on the same networks, or less with syndication or lesser viewed networks. And the shows can air anytime. Morning, noon, nigh, or afterhours. Just thought you should know. Peace out.

WILF Wednesday Week 13

What's up, world? Now that I have picked what I think should be the best college football match-ups this season, I can get to something just as exciting and way hotter. WILF Wednesday! Gotta say thanks to theassman345xxxo for making these videos and allowing me to post them her for this weekly segement. Keep churning out the hotties, assman! Also, you know it really is a pain for me to say this, but I need to so I don't get in trouble. Though this video isn't pornographic, viewer discretion is advised. There, I said it. So for tonight, this week's girl is a relative newbie to me, so my knowledge about is limited. Here's what I can tell you though. I just saw her last night on a rerun of "Two & a Half Men" where she plays the rebellious granddaughter of Charlie and Alan's maid. The clothes she wore, the things she did, the way she talked. It all had quite an effect on Charlie, Alan, and even little Jake. She's had a major TV role, playing one of the main characters on "Hope & Faith". But what really has made her known to the world is a little movie that fanboys worldwide were dying to see. She played the sultry Mikaela Banes in "Transformers", where she does her part to save the world from the Decepticons. And of course, absolutely kill us while she bends over Bumblebee's open hood in that midriff-bearing top and that tiny skirt, while talking about the ins and outs of cars. You said it best, Shia LaBeouf. "Oh my God!" And that ass she has was made for the skirt. And a few other things, if you catch my drift. She's hot. She's a star on the rise. She's a rebel. She's Megan Fox.

2008 College Football Games to Watch

So now we're in June, the time when kids start leaving school for summer. For me, though, I'm getting prepared for August, when once again, college football sucks me in. As a tradition every June, I bring you guys my picks of the most exciting games for of the year. And, this season, I found at least one possible season-changing game for 119 of the 120 Division I-A schools (sorry, Syracuse). So, without further ado, here are the 2008 college football games to watch for.

August 28
Oregon State at Stanford
Troy at Middle Tennessee
UTEP at Buffalo
Vanderbilt at Miami (OH)

August 29
Southern Methodist at Rice
Temple at Army

August 30
Illinois vs. Missouri

August 31
Kentucky at Louisville

September 1
Tennessee at UCLA

September 5
Navy at Ball State

September 6
Air Force at Wyoming
Minnesota at Bowling Green
New Hampshire at Army

September 12
Kansas at South Florida

September 13
California at Maryland
Hawaii at Oregon State
Navy at Duke
Ohio State at USC
San Diego State at San Jose State
Toledo at Eastern Michigan
UCLA at Brigham Young
Washington State at Baylor

Spetember 17
Kansas State at Louisville

September 18
West Virginia at Colorado

September 20
Akron at Army
Arizona at UCLA
Central Michigan at Purdue
East Carolina at North Carolina State
Florida at Tennessee
Florida Atlantic at Minnesota
Georgia at Arizona State
Idaho at Utah State
Iowa at Pittsburgh
Louisiana-Monroe at Tulane
LSU at Auburn
Miami (FL) at Texas A&M
Middle Tennessee at Arkansas State
Mississippi State at Georgia Tech
Notre Dame at Michigan State
Vanderbilt at Mississippi
Virginia Tech at North Carolina
Wake Forest at Florida State

September 26
Connecticut at Louisville

September 27
Bowling Green at Wyoming
Colorado vs. Florida State
Fresno State at UCLA
Houston at East Carolina
Illinois at Penn State
North Carolina at Miami (FL)
Purdue at Notre Dame
UCF at UTEP
Virginia at Duke
Wisconsin at Michigan

October 4
Army at Tulane
Boston College at North Carolina State
Florida State at Miami (FL)
Illinois at Michigan
Indiana at Minnesota
Iowa at Michigan State
Louisiana-Lafayette at Louisiana-Monroe
Ohio State at Wisconsin
Oregon at USC
Texas at Colorado
Wyoming at New Mexico

October 9
Clemson at Wake Forest

October 11
Arizona State at USC
Boise State at Southern Miss
East Carolina at Virginia
Eastern Michigan at Army
Iowa State at Baylor
LSU at Florida
Michigan State at Northwestern
South Carolina at Kentucky
Tennessee at Georgia
Texas vs. Oklahoma
Washington State at Oregon State
Western Michigan at Buffalo

October 18
Akron at Eastern Michigan
Arkansas at Kentucky
California at Arizona
Marshall at UAB
Miami (OH) at Bowling Green
Michigan at Penn State
Missouri at Texas
North Texas at Louisiana-Monroe
Purdue at Northwestern
San Jose State at New Mexico State
Toledo at Northern Illinois
Virginia Tech at Boston College
Wake Forest at Maryland

October 23
Auburn at West Virginia
New Mexico at Air Force

October 25
Boston College at North Carolina
Bowling Green at Northern Illinois
Cincinnati at Connecticut
Colorado State at San Diego State
Georgia at LSU
Illinois at Wisconsin
Kent State at Miami (OH)
Louisiana Tech at Army
Mississippi at Arkansas
Northwestern at Indiana
Notre Dame at Washington
Oregon at Arizona State
Rutgers at Pittsburgh
Texas Tech at Kansas
UCLA at California
Virginia at Georgia Tech
Virginia Tech at Florida State

October 26
Nevada at Hawaii

November 1
Central Michigan at Indiana
Colorado at Texas A&M
Florida vs. Georgia
Florida International at Louisiana-Lafayette
Kent State at Bowling Green
Rice at UTEP
Texas at Texas Tech
Tulsa at Arkansas
Washington State at Stanford

November 2
East Carolina at UCF

November 4
Miami (OH) at Buffalo

November 5
Toledo at Akron

November 6
TCU at Utah

November 8
Army at Rice
Clemson at Florida State
Colorado State at Air Force
Louisiana Tech at San Jose State
Louisville at Pittsburgh
Memphis at Southern Methodist
Purdue at Michigan State
Southern Miss at UCF

November 11
Ball State at Miami (OH)

November 14
Cincinnati at Louisville

November 15
East Carolina at Southern Miss
Georgia at Auburn
Mississippi State at Alabama
Nebraska at Kansas State
North Carolina at Maryland
Notre Dame vs. Navy
Ohio State at Illinois
Oklahoma State at Colorado
Rutgers at South Florida
Texas at Kansas
Tulsa at Houston
UAB at Tulane

November 19
Ball State at Central Michigan

November 20
Miami (FL) at Georgia Tech

November 21
Buffalo at Bowling Green

November 22
Akron at Ohio
Arkansas at Mississippi State
Brigham Young at Utah
Colorado State at Wyoming
Florida State at Maryland
Indiana at Purdue
Louisiana Tech at New Mexico State
Louisiana-Monroe at Florida International
Pittsburgh at Cincinnati
UCF at Memphis
UNLV at San Diego State
Washington at Washington State

November 25
Western Michigan at Ball State

November 28
Akron at Temple
Colorado at Nebraska
Fresno State at Boise State
Kent State at Buffalo
Mississippi State at Mississippi

November 29
Arkansas State at North Texas
Kansas vs. Missouri
Maryland at Boston College
Washington State at Hawaii

December 6
Arizona State at Arizona
Cincinnati at Hawaii
Pittsburgh at Connecticut
Western Kentucky at Florida International

TiVo Guide Week of June 16, 2008 *spoiler alert*

"American Gladiators" In a twisted sister battle, twin siblings from California compete against each other while tangling with the gladiators. In the men's round, a choreographer gets into the groove against an ER doctor. Monday at 8 on NBC.

"The Middleman" In the pilot for this adaptation of the Viper comic, a catastrophe at a temp job leads struggling artist Wendy Watson (Natalie Morales) to accept an apprentice offer from a mysterious, straitlaced crimefighter called the Middleman (Matt Keeslar), who enlists her help with a bizarre case involving organized crime and a federally funded gorilla-research lab. Monday at 8 on ABC Family.

"Weeds" In the fourth-season opener, Nancy, Andy and the boys, on the run after she set fire to their house, head to the beach and a "heartwarming family reunion" with Judah's grandmother. They are met with a surprise, and a reunion with her irascible father-in-law (Albert Brooks). Back home, the cops grill Celia, and Doug and Dean finger her as the owner of the grow house. Monday at 10 on Showtime.

"America's Got Talent" The talent search's third season opens with country-spanning auditions for top-notch entertainers in such fields as music, comedy, dance, juggling and magic. Jerry Springer hosts, while David Hasselhoff, Piers Morgan and Sharon Osbourne serve as judges. Tuesday at 9 on NBC.

"Flipping Out" The reality-meets-realty show's second season begins by catching up with meticulous real-estate investor Jeff Lewis and his colorful band of subordinates, as they try to expand the business in a declining market. Tuesday at 10 on Bravo.

"Shot at Love With Tila Tequila" Tila and her three remaining suitors hit the beaches of Cancun, Mexico. Tuesday at 10 on MTV.

"Top Chef Chicago: Watch What Happens Reunion" Host Andy Cohen serves up a reunion with Season 4's chefs, who dish on the four-star dramas and field viewer questions. Series regulars Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio, Gail Simmons and Ted Allen make appearances. Also on the menu: The "fan favorite" winner is announced. Wednesday at 10 on Bravo.

"Black Gold" Mechanical problems and human errors present various challenges for crews on rigs named Longhorn, Viking and Big Dog in the opener of a series that chronicles the efforts of Texas oil-rig workers. Wednesday at 10 on TruTV.

"She's Got the Look" The eight remaining contestants get ready for a runway show. Wednesday at 10 on TV Land.

"Fear Itself" A man (Colin Ferguson) swaps bodies with a jailed killer after a near-death experience and must find a way to save his family from behind bars. Ronny Yu directed. Written by Dan Knauf. Thursday at 10 on NBC.

"Randy Jackson Presents: America's Best Dance Crew" A second season begins with a whole new set of crews vying for the title of America's Best Dance Crew. Thursday at 10 on MTV.

"Daytime Emmy Awards" The 35th annual gala saluting soaps, daytime talk and children's shows, telecast from Hollywood's Kodak Theatre. Cameron Mathison and Sherri Shepherd are the hosts. Receiving the Lifetime Achievement Award: Regis Philbin, who's also a nominee in the talk-show-host category, as is Shepherd. Presenters include Jimmy Kimmel, Barbara Walters, Montel Williams, Tyra Banks, Susan Lucci, Anthony Geary, Kassie DePaiva, Darnell Williams, Debbi Morgan, Jack Wagner, Heather Tom and Melody Thomas Scott. Friday at 8 on ABC.

"Camp Rock" Uplifting, song-filled tale about a teen (Demi Lovato) who attends a summer camp for aspiring singers and musicians, where she meets a spoiled pop star (Joe Jonas) who reluctantly teaches there to repair his tarnished image. Nate: Nick Jonas. Jason: Kevin Jonas. Friday at 8 on Disney.

"Meerkat Manor: The Next Generation" The Commandos attack the Whiskers, and Rocket Dog calls a retreat that's heard by all but one; Maybelline finally finds a suitable home for the Aztec clan. Friday at 9 on Animal Plan.

"U.S. Olympic Trials:Women's gymnastics" Day 1 of the women's all-around gymnastics finals in Philadelphia. Entrants include 2007 world champion Shawn Johnson; and gold-medal winning teammates Nastia Liukin, Alicia Sacramone, Ivana Hong and Samantha Peszek. Saturday at 8 on NBC.

"Joy Fielding's The Other Woman" A man's second wife (Josie Bissett) fears she will lose him to a younger woman who declares her intent to steal him away---which is exactly what she did four years earlier to his first wife. Jason Priestley. Saturday at 9 on Lifetime.

"Nightmare at the End of the Hall" A writer (Sara Rue) teaching at the prep school she attended encounters a student who seems to be the reincarnation of her dead classmate. Sunday at 6 on LMN.

"Nightmare at the End of the Hall" A writer (Sara Rue) teaching at the prep school she attended encounters a student who seems to be the reincarnation of her dead classmate. Sunday at 8 on LMN.

"Next Food Network Star" The contestants' culinary skills are tested when Tyler Florence instructs them to film videos for the Food Network Web site. Then, Iron Chef Michael Symon shows up and challenges them to create unique seafood dishes that will be served to members of the U.S. Coast Guard. Sunday at 10 on Food.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series at Michigan

The Heroes: Dale Earnhardt Jr. The fuel gamble worked out, finally putting an end to Junior's 76-race winless streak.
Sam Hornish Jr. The three-time Indy Racing League champion and Defiance, Ohio, native considers Michigan International Speedway his home track. So it was fitting that the NASCAR rookie got to lead a lap for the first time in his Cup career. Actually, he led two laps (142 and 162). He got loose the last 20 laps, though, and finished 22nd.
The Goats: The official. A NASCAR official has to be feeling particulary goat-ish since he got in the way of Matt Kenseth in the pits and cost him valuable time.
Patrick Carpentier. A spin by Carpentier on the 203rd lap made for some nervous moments for fans of the No. 88. Carpentier said Michael Waltrip spun him. "I hit the brakes and had nowhere to go, so I started to get loose and spun before the end," Carpentier said.

From the fourth round of the U.S. Open

The Hero: Tiger Woods. Just imagine what he could have done with two knees.
The Goat: Lee Westwood. How do you leave a 20-foot putt - to get into a playoff at the U.S. Open - short?

313's Heroes and Goats

From the third round of the U.S. Open

The Heroes: Tiger Woods and Rocco Mediate. I'm splitting the prestigious honor because Woods' impressive birdie, eagle finish put his 14th major directly in his croosheirs. Mediate merits a mention for holding it together and holding the lead for most of the round.
The Goat: Phil Mickelson. This includes a caveat because Phil also was considered for Hero. That's because of the grace and humor with which he handled his tough round of 76 and questions about his quadruple bogey.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the second round of the U.S. Open.

The Hero: Tiger Woods. Gotta love it. Tiger came back like Lazarus and wreaked biblical wrath on the field with a 68 that put him in a tie for second place at two under.
The Goat: Colin Montgomerie. Monty made a mess of things again and followed his first-round 79 with a 77. He finished at 14-over 156 and missed his second cut at the U.S. Open since he tied for second in 2006.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the first round of the U.S. Open

The Hero: Justin Hicks. The Wyandotte native who grew up in Riverview and graduated from Grosse Ile High and Michigan put the Great Lakes State on the map by shooting a 68 and climbing to the top of the leaderboard.
The Goat: Michael Campbell. The 2005 U.S. Open winner, who has made two cuts in 13 events this year, opened with a seven-over 78.

WILF Wednesday Week 12

Hola seniors and senoritas! Welcome back to my personal favorite post on this blog, WILF Wednesday. Gotta say thanks to theassman345xxxo for making such killer videos and I hope he keeps churning out the hotties. And for tonight, hate to say it, but viewer discretion is advised. Anyways, where can I begin about this week's WILF? Let's begin in the beginning, when she was just an adoreable little child. She had a role on "Guiding Light". Then she would take over as both twins in the remake of "The Parent Trap". But who would have thought in just a few years she would grow up to be so lustful? Big roles started pouring in for this red-headed jailbait. The remake of "Freaky Friday" basically put her on the map. Then she gained other big roles such as "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen", "Herbie: Fully Loaded", and who could forget "Mean Girls"? She even put out a pair of music albums. Of course, this is where I feel she sometimes gets unfairly thrown into the flames. Anorexia rumors, drug and alcohol arrests, and let's not even get started on mommy and daddy dearest. Still, she's sober now, even though I do question her choice of "Georgia Rule" and "I Know Who Killed Me". At least "Bobby" was decent. And if you think she's about to flame out, guess again. She's got a huge project in production about the Manson family and their killing spree. Now that she's clean, I'm pretty sure people are looking at her with hungry eyes again. Remember when "Mean Girls" came out? All of a sudden, *BOING!*, damn, where did those boobs come from? Those are the type of milkbags that cannot be ignored. And that delictable ass. I just wanna eat it up. God, thank You for developing this girl into a full-fledged woman. She's talented. She's not afraid to get down. She's versatile. She's the Human Freckle. She's Lindsay Lohan.

TiVo Guide Week of June 9, 2008 *spoiler alert*

"Nashville Star" Season 6 kicks up its heels with a performance by Taylor Swift and highlights of the auditions. In addition, the Top 12 finalists are revealed, and later the field is cut to 10. Billy Ray Cyrus hosts. Jewel, John Rich and Jeffrey Steele are the judges. Monday at 9 on NBC.

"The Mole" The contestants play soccer against a daunting local team, Bobby rides a wheelbarrow in search of missing pigs, and another player is "executed." Monday at 10 on ABC.

"Hell's Kitchen" Chef Ramsay orders the five remaining chefs to teach cooking-impaired housewives to prepare a gourmet meal, and the one who does it best receives culinary pointers from California chefs Mark Peel and Ben Ford. At dinner service, all five struggle with a dozen appetizers, main courses and desserts. Tuesday at 9 on Fox.

"Work Out" In the third-season finale, Jackie and Brianna dissect their relationship. In other developments, Greg and Renessa comfort Rebecca in the wake of her broken romance; clients participate in a final boot camp; and Jackie and Co. rejoice in the release of their fitness DVD. Tuesday at 10 on Bravo.

"Comic Books Unbound" A behind-the-scenes look at "how filmmakers coax comic-book characters off the page and onto the big screen." Features interviews with illustrators Stan Lee and Paul Pope, and actors Ron Perlman and Selma Blair, who starred in "Hellboy." Richard Roeper is the host. Tuesday at 10 on Starz.

"Celebrity Circus" Celebs learn and perform circus acts in the opener of this reality-competition series hosted by Joey Fatone. The contestants are Antonio Sabato Jr., Blu Cantrell, Christopher Knight, Janet Evans, Jason "Wee Man" Acuña, Rachel Hunter and Stacey Dash. Wednesday at 9:30 on NBC.

"Men in Trees" As the series finale begins, Elmo's talent show is approaching and Annie is rehearsing the dance number she'll perform with Ivan. But Patrick plans drastic action to win her back. And Marin gets a hefty check for her latest book, which pleases Jack, at first. Meanwhile, Sam and Jane are driving back to Elmo from New York, and Jane is growing tired of Sam's favorite roadside restaurant chain (and his reason for eating there); and Sara is fantasizing about the doctor she's working for. Wednesday at 10 on ABC.

"Top Chef" It's the final chopping block, as the winning chef is announced in the conclusion of the Season 4 finale. The winner takes home $100,000 and scores a dream gourmet vacation. Wednesday at 10 on Bravo.

"Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List" The fourth season of Kathy Griffin's celeb-reality (mis)adventures kicks off with Kathy digging in to cohost a New Year's Eve show with Anderson Cooper. Later, she prepares to be a presenter at the Producers Guild Awards. Thursday at 9 on Bravo.

"Bill Engvall Show" In the domestic sitcom's Season 2 opener, Bill and Susan sense that the children aren't earning their allowance. So they order them to clean the garage without pay. The kids' response? They go on strike. Meanwhile, the cell-phone store doesn't get a ringing endorsement from Bill. Thursday at 9 on TBS.

"RENO 911!" A reporter from Strong Sister magazine wants to do a profile of single mom and officer Raineesha Williams. Thursday at 10:30 on Comedy Central.

"Degrassi: The Next Generation Marathon" A 21-episode run of the show recaps Seasons 1 and 2 and is hosted by cast members who reminisce about their favorite moments. Friday at 6 on The N.

"Battlestar Galactica" A hostage standoff unfolds as the rebel Cylons hold President Roslin captive in a bid to coax the "final five" Cylons to come out of hiding on Galactica. Friday at 10 on Sci Fi.

"Made" An outcast wants to be prom king. Saturday at 8 on MTV.

"Dance on Sunset" Janet Jackson adds the finishing move to the Fresh Squeezed Dance and pits her abilities against Tony's. Saturday at 9 on Nickelodeon.

"Stephen King's 'The Stand'" Conclusion. Mother Abigail's group heads for Las Vegas, where Flagg's forces are beginning to weaken. Flagg: Jamey Sheridan. Glen: Ray Walston. Harold: Corin Nemec. Nadine: Laura San Giacomo. Paul Bulson: Mike Westenskow. Lucy: Bridgit Ryan. Weizak: Stephen King. Saturday at 9 on Sci Fi.

"Tony Awards" Whoopi Goldberg hosts the 62nd annual gala honoring Broadway's best from New York's Radio City Music Hall. The musical "In the Heights" leads all shows with 13 nominations, followed by the revival of "South Pacific" with 11 nods. Stephen Sondheim receives a Lifetime Achievement Award. Sunday at 8 on CBS.

"Army Wives" Roxy cares for Betty as she recovers from her bombing injuries; Pamela is upset by Chase's secretive nature; and Joan struggles with her decision to end her pregnancy. Sunday at 10 on Lifetime.

"In Plain Sight" Mary poses as a bridesmaid to protect a diamond smuggler who planned a high-profile wedding while in the program. Missy Pyle, Joanna Cassidy. Sunday at 10 on USA.

Salute to the Red Wings

Wow! What a season! I really didn't think I could ask more for the Red Wings than the gritty, blue-collar work that they showed all season. From the drop of the puck in the preseason game to the final sigh of relief and subsequent jubilation after the horn sounded in Game 6 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, they showed why they are the best. So congratulations to the Detroit Red Wings on winning the 2007-2008 Stanley Cup, showing that you are the best in the NHL. And to prove it, here's the playlist I made on my YouTube account of all 16 Red Wings postseason victories. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YgtvnUAhqA&feature=PlayList&p=472F8126C55571AD&index=0&playnext=1 If that doesn't work, just cut and paste the URL onto the address bar. The videos should be on autoplay, so there's no need to click on the next video. And now, it's time to honor each and every one of the Red Wings players.

At left wing from Muskegon, Michigan, Number 8, Justin Abdelkader!
At defense from Chicago, Illinois, Number 24, Chris Chelios!
At right wing from Carbonear, Newfoundland and Labrador, Number 11, Daniel Cleary!
At center from Yekaterinburg, Russia, Number 13, Pavel Datsyuk!
At right wing from Shelburne, Ontario, Number 20, Aaron Downey!
At right wing from Trail, British Columbia, Number 17, Dallas Drake!
At center from Toronto, Ontario, Number 33, Kris Draper!
At center from St. Thomas, Ontario, Number 48, Cory Emmerton!
At defense from Karlskrona, Sweden, Number 52, Jonathan Ericsson!
At center from Vantaa, Finland, Number 51, Valtteri Filppula!
At center from Vetlanda, Sweden, Number 93, Johan Franzén!
At center from Fort St. John, British Columbia, Number 44, Mark Hartigan!
At goalie from Pardubice, Czech Republic, Number 39, Dominik Hašek!
At center from St. Andrews, Manitoba, Number 43, Darren Helm!
At right wing from Piteå, Sweden, Number 96, Tomas Holmström!
At goalie from Ogdensburg, New York, Number 35, Jimmy Howard!
At right wing from Olomouc, Czech Republic, Number 26, Jiri Hudler!
At defense from Šumperk, Czech Republic, Number 46, Jakub Kindl!
At right wing from Dubnica nad Váhom, Slovakia, Number 82, Tomáš Kopecký!
At defense from Stockholm, Sweden, Number 55, Niklas Kronwall!
At defense from Buffalo Grove, Illinois, Number 22, Brett Ledba!
At defense from Västerås, Sweden, Number 5, Nicklas Lidström!
At defense from Helsingborg, Sweden, Number 3, Andreas Lilja!
At left wing from Guelph, Ontario, Number 18, Kirk Maltby!
At right wing from Burnaby, British Columbia, Number 25, Darren McCarty!
At defense from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Number 14, Derek Meech!
At goalie from Peace River, Alberta, Number 30, Chris Osgood!
At defense from Kitchener, Ontario, Number 4, Kyle Quincy!
At defense from Dearborn, Michigan, Number 28, Brian Rafalski!
At center from Borlänge, Sweden, Number 42, Mattias Ritola!
At right wing from Mariefred, Sweden, Number 37, Mikael Samuelsson!
At defense from Rocky Mountain House, Alberta, Number 23, Brad Stuart!
And at left wing from Njurunda, Sweden, Number 40, Henrik Zetterberg!

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Red Wings vs. Penguins game

The Hero: Henrik Zetterberg. He scored the winning goal and won the Conn Smythe Trophy as the playoff MVP -- what more could he do?
The Goat: Marc-Andre Fleury. The Game 5 hero let in a couple of soft goals, including one he pushed in with his rump. That's too much in a tight game.

WILF Wednesday Week 11

What's crackin', ladies and germs? This is Tom, alias InThe313. Now if you watched Monday's Stanley Cup game, you know two things. One, my heart was ripped out and tossed into a blender. Two, I'm too busy to do anything other than focus on tonight's potential Cup clinching Game 6 for the Red Wings. Well, you got the heart thing right. I may be getting set for tonight's big game, but I cannot ignore my duty to provide you with the most delicious women on Earth every Wednesday. So, not only is today possibly The Night 313 Goes Berserk at the End of Game 6, but it's also WILF Wednesday. Of course, as always, thanks a lot, theassman345xxxo. So what's going down for today? Today, we're heading south of the border again. And I mean WAY south of the border. No, I don't mean the southern most part of Mexico. I mean all the way down to South America. Today's hottie is an international sensation, and that's putting it mildly. The United World Chart has this Columbian mamasita as the sixth best-selling artist worldwide since 1998. She's been able to perform in her native tongue of Spanish, as well as Portuguese (much to the delight of her Brazilian fan base), and English (much to the delight of Anglos around the globe). A phenomenon outside the English-speaking world, she burst onto the scene here in 2001 with her smash hit "Whenever, Wherever". Yeah, her breasts may be small and humble so we don't confuse them with mountains, but they're still good. This song exposed us to he wide vocal range and her seductive belly dancing that made men want to take her, whenever, wherever. Following up that hit on her album "Laundry Service" was "Underneath Your Clothes" (I would love to see what's under her clothes) and "Objection (Tango)" (wouldn't mind a little tongue tango with her). She took some time off from the English music world, but caught our with a Spanish song, "La Tortura" featuring Alejandro Sanz, where, in the music video, she writhes around in paint. Soon after, she came back with another English album that spawned hits like "Don't Bother" (hopefully she'd never say that to me), a duet with Wyclef Jean titled "Hips Don't Lie" (but hers can damn well kill a man), and the exotic song with an equally sexually charged video called "Beautiful Liar" with Beyonce (seeing as I am with C-S-S-A, you can just imagine my thoughts of what happened backstage during the shoot). Her mixed Spanish, Italian, and Arab descent makes her just as exotic as her belly dancing. Speaking of which, she has the absolute best ass to belly dance with, and a few other things to do, too, if you catch my drift. She's erotic. She's exotic. She's hypnotizing. She's a two-time Grammy Award winner. She's Shakira.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Penguins vs. Red Wings game

The Hero: Marc-Andre Fleury. The young goalie kept Pittsburgh in the game -- stopping 55 shots. Chris Osgood stopped 28 for the Red Wings.
The Goat: Jiri Hudler. The Wings' fourth-liner's four-minute high-sticking penalty to Petr Sykora's winning goal 9:57 into the third OT.

TiVo Guide Week of June 2, 2008 *spoiler alert*

"Greek" As spring break approaches, Cappie's decision to have the Kappa pledges practice using their fake IDs creates an identity crisis for Rusty. Meanwhile, Casey ponders her future after asking for Evan's help in studying for her law-school admission test. Monday at 8 on ABC Family.

"Instant Star" In the fourth-season opener, Jude distracts herself with work on her third album in an attempt to avoid choosing between Jamie and Tommy. Monday at 8 on The N.

"Legally Blonde the Musical: The Search for Elle Woods" Auditions begin in the series opener of this reality show, where actors compete to become the next Elle Woods in Broadway's "Legally Blonde: The Musical." Haylie Duff acts as mentor for the hopefuls. Monday at 10 on MTV.

"Work Out" A pressured Jackie must choose only four trainers to star in her fitness DVD. Following auditions, repetitive shoots at the DVD filming drive the selected trainers to emotional and physical breaking points. Tuesday at 10 on Bravo.

"30 Days" The third season begins with series creator-host Morgan Spurlock, a West Virginia native, spending 30 days working in a Mountain State coal mine. "It's like going to the moon. And it's so loud," Spurlock says as he enters his new workplace for the first time. He also sees firsthand just how dirty and dangerous coal mining can be, both in the mine and when he accompanies Dale Lusk, his boss (and his roommate for the month), to a local health clinic where they're checked for black-lung disease. Tuesday at 10 on FX.

"Shot at Love With Tila Tequila" Tila asks the six remaining contestants what they're willing to do for her love. Tuesday at 10 on MTV.

"Making News: Savannah Style" The reality show is in Savannah for its second season, following staffers of WJCL-TV, the market's lowest-rated station for news, as they struggle to compete. In the opener, reporter Candace McCowan prepares for a live report from a demonstration outside Paula Deen's downtown restaurant. McCowan works well under pressure, but can't count on her balky equipment to do the same. That and low pay mean high turnover. Says police reporter Jason Davis: "Can't wait to get out of here." Wednesday at 8 on TV Guide.

"Top Chef" In Part 1 of the two-part Season 4 finale, the remaining four chefs journey to Puerto Rico to square off for the final three spots. Chef Wilo Benet is the guest judge. Wednesday at 10 on Bravo.

"She's Got the Look" A group of women 35 and older move to New York City to take part in a competition to land a modeling contract. Kim Alexis is the host. Wednesday at 10 on TV Land.

"Jimmy Kimmel Live: Game Night" Program description not available. Thursday at 8 on ABC.

"So You Think You Can Dance" The first round of callbacks in Las Vegas results in the selection of the top 20 finalists: 10 males and 10 females. Thursday at 8 on Fox.

"Step It Up & Dance" It's dance fever in the conclusion of the Season 1 finale, as the winning hoofer is revealed. Thursday at 10 on Bravo.

"Battlestar Galactica" Viper pilots and Cylon rebels forge a strategy against the Resurrection Hub. Friday at 10 on Sci Fi.

"Sybil" A psychiatrist (Jessica Lange) treats a disturbed young woman (Tammy Blanchard) who displays 16 separate personalities in order to cope with abuse she suffered as a child. Hattie: JoBeth Williams. Saturday at 8 on CBS.

"Cops" In Portland, Ore., officers are dispatched on a hit-and-run call, and a K-9 cop sniffs out the suspect. In Las Vegas, a bicyclist is stopped, but a vehicle crashes nearby during questioning and the rider takes off. Deputies in Leon County, Fla., question the driver of a suspicious vehicle, and a routine search of it leads to a not-so-routine discovery. Saturday at 8 on Fox.

"Robin Hood" Disguised as entertainers, the outlaws infiltrate a feast for the sheriff's black knights in an effort to join forces with the one person who can stop the Shah Mat plan. Saturday at 9 on BBC America.

"When We Left Earth: The NASA Missions" A history of the space race opens with a look at the Gemini missions and the nine astronauts involved. Included: the first space walks, which are not successful. Also: interviews with Gene Cernan, Buzz Aldrin and Gene Kranz; archival footage. Sunday at 9 on Discovery.

"Design Star" In the third-season premiere, the eight finalists and one viewer-selected contestant are introduced. Sunday at 9 on Home & Garden.

"Army Wives" Season 2 begins with the aftermath of the bar bombing and the wives' attempts to return to their normal lives. Roxy waits on news about Trevor; Joan and Roland reassess their marriage; and Claudia Joy accompanies Amanda to college. Sunday at 10 on Lifetime.

One Night Stand results

Low and behold, I scored once again with another great night thanks to One Night Stand. Last night, I managed to accumilate a 4-3 record, boosting my all-time results to 151-121. Now that's what you call good predictions. Batista, John Cena, Triple H, and Beth Phoenix proved to be my shining stars for the night. Umaga, CM Punk, and Undertaker all left with their lights dimmed. All in all, it was a great night. Now, for my next mission, I will be busy watching the Detroit Red Wings win the Stanley Cup tonight, I hope. I mean, they are are up, 3-1, in the series and are back at Joe Louis Arena, so that really works to the Red Wings' advantage. So I need to ask. Are you in? I know I am, especially considering where the Stanley Cup has been in recent years. Seriously, isn't there ANYTHING that girl won't put her tongue on?

One Night Stand card & picks

Stretcher match: Shawn Michaels vs. Batista

Falls Count Anywhere match: Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga

First Blood match: John Cena vs. John "Bradshaw" Layfield

Last Man Standing match for the WWE Championship: Triple H (c) vs. Randy Orton

Singapore Cane match: CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Big Show (The winner recieves an ECW Championship match at Night of Champions)

Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match for the vacant World Heavyweight Championship: The Undertaker vs. Edge (If Undertaker loses, he will have to leave WWE)

"I Quit" match: Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

No question, this show has a lot of championship gold to be decided, but right now, I perfer championship silver, if you know what I mean. Anyways, going into tonight's action, I am 147-119. Let's improve upon that. I'm taking Batista, Umaga, John Cena, Triple H, CM Punk, Undertaker, and Beth Phoenix. Wish me luck.

313's Heroes and Goats

From the Red Wings vs. Penguins game

The Hero: Chris Osgood. Solid as ever in a low-scoring game. Has he clinched the Conn Smythe Trophy yet, assuming the Wings win?
The Goat: Evgeni Malkin. Half of the Penguins' Big Two of young superstars, he still is pointless in the series. And pretty listless, too.