Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Ever get that feeling of deja vu?

Unfortunatley, I am. The Cavaliers beat the Pistons, 91-87 last night. That ties the series at two games apiece as the series shifts from The Q to Auburn Hills. More and more, I am getting haunting memories of how the Pistons nearly blew it against the Cavaliers in the Eastern Conference Semifinals last season. At least they won it. This one has me nervous. Unless Chris Webber proves he's worth the cash we picked him up for, I think I might chew my finger nails down to the skin.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Ciara "Like A Boy"

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Mars-a-palooza!

Sorry, guys, but there's too much to cut through Schoolcraft's service to get those videos. But I do come with good news, Martians! Available starting today at Barnes & Noble or Borders or any online store with books is "Neptune Noir: Unauthorized Investigations Into Veronica Mars." The CW had absolutley nothing to do with this book, but the genius that is Rob Thomas did. He edited the book. It is a collection of essays about the place of "Veronica Mars" in pop culture. Of course, our good friend Rob tells us some things that are better left unsaid (i.e., UPN wanted Kristen Bell to be a supporting cast member, not the lead, and if they were ignored, it wouldn't be considered). The book is published by Smart Pop, who have written many unauthorized guides of popular TV shows and movies, from "Desperate Housewives" and "Lost" to "Star Trek" and "X-Men." Go get it guys. Tell the world the "Veronica Mars" fanbase is still strong.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Young Jeezy "Go Getta"

DAMMIT, CARTMAN!

Cavaliers 88, Pistons 82. Pistons lead, 2-1. What in the world was wrong with the Pistons Sunday night? Chauncey and Rip usually have great range and are almost always automatic when they have the ball, but not this time. Lord help us if the Cavs win tonight.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Amy Winehouse "You Know I'm No Good"

Saturday, May 26, 2007

One last thing

I need one answer from one person on whether or not I should do this. Should I post the clips of the "Veronica Mars" cast at the 2006 Comic Con. One person determines that.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: The Game "Wouldn't Get Far"

The 313 Second Movie Review: "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End"

That's what kept me away from the Pistons Thursday night. I caught the 8 p.m. showing of "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End." My God! Seeing so many people in pirate costumes, I thought I was in the middle of the San Diego Comic Con. Guess I know how you feel, eh, Butch. Anyways, on with the show. The film stars Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow, Orlando Bloom as Will Turner, Keira Knightley as Elizabeth Swann, Bill Nighy as Davy Jones, Stellan Skarsgard as 'Bootstrap' Bill Turner, Jack Davenport as Norrington, Tom Hollander as Lord Cutler Beckett, Chow Yun-Fat as Captain Sao Feng, and Geoffrey Rush as Barbossa. Now, I assume you all know what went down with the previous "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies, so I'll avoid pressing rewind and jump right in, but I won't spoil too much. Jack is brought back from Davy Jones' locker, but after what happened in the last film, you know he's got to be questioning Elizabeth's motives. Alas, he and archrival, Barbossa, who was resurrected by Tia Dalma at the end of the last film, take control of the Black Pearl together. Everything is quite honky-dory with Will and Elizabeth. Elizabeth wants to stay with Will, but if Will wants to free his father from Davy Jones like he vowed, then it could mean losing Elizabeth. Did I mention more villians? Of course, you do need to keep a sharp on Barbossa, given the history between himself and Jack. There's Davy Jones again. However, Davy's at the behest of Lord Cutler Beckett. Since he possesses the heart of Davy, he controls the oceans and seas for his own personal gain. Then Sao Feng, a fearsome Chinese pirate stationed in Singapore, who looks to possess the nine coins needed to bring together a pirate brethren. That's all I going to say. You want to know what else goes down, go see the movie. Overall, this movie was well worth the wait. It did almost everything perfectly. First off, it tied together the loose ends from the previous two films. When Disney said that every mystery, dysteny, and question will be solved, they were not lying. As for the writing and acting, you couldn't help but feel the emotional connection with the characters. At some points, I was thing inside my head, "NO! DON'T DO IT!" If the movie gets you to feel that way, then it's mission accomplished. Oh, and I swear, I must have cracked a few ribs from laughing so hard at Johnny Depp's antics in this film. Overall, I superb effort from Disney. Now, do as Mickie Mouse commands you. Go in before the secrets get out.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Madina Lake "House Of Cards"

Yay! The Pistons win!

Sorry I took so long. My computer is all frakked up and I decided to blog from Schoolcraft. Yesterday, I didn't get in in time, and I missed my blogging opportunity. Well, here I am, so let's get started. Is it just me, or I am living the basketball version of "Groundhog Day?" Game 2 was a carbon copy of Game 1. The Pistons beat the Cavaliers, 76-73. That means that the Pistons lead the series, 2-0. And with the series moving from Auburn Hills to The Q, this something "King" LeBron and Co. didn't want to have happen. Of course, I can't really explain too much of the game itself because I didn't see it. I know what you're thinking. "313, miss a Pistons playoff game? Never!" Guess again. And I have a perfectly legitimate excuse why that is explained in the next topic.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Justin Timberlake "What Goes Around... (Long Version)"

Thursday, May 24, 2007

My final thoughts on "Veronica Mars"

Sadly, Butch, you are right. Only the good die young. But why did it have to be so damn early?

OK, Dawn Ostroff, I have fine piece of real estate for you. Four bed, three bath, 700 acres. And it is in the lovliest location. THE FIFTH CIRCLE OF HELL!

Meanwhile, can someone please reserve a spot in Heaven for the person who came with the idea of putting an entire TV series on DVD? It's not only the greatest way to waste the weekend, but barring some miracle, also the best way we can relive "Veronica Mars."

I just wish somehow, we would learn the fate of Keith following the charge of tampering with evidence.

Anybody else find it weird Veronica didn't realize she was in the Kane mansion until she saw that haunting giant picture of Lilly?

Good job, Logan. If I was that close with an ex-girlfriend, I'd beat the daylights out of him, too.

I just hope this doesn't ruin the friendship of Parker and Veronica. Does give one some dirty ideas.

Creepy how those guys at the Castle knew so much about the people they wanted in. I mean, I'm not shocked they found out about Wallace's hit-and-run incident in Chicago, but how in the blue hell did they know about the camera pen? Weird.

Weevil = Further proof that you can take the ex-con out of jail, but you can't take the... Wait, that won't make sense.

You just know there's a threesome with Veronica, Mac, and Parker crossing so many minds right now. KMB, use your power for good, homie.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Fergie "Glamorous"

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

*cries*

I lose "Veronica Mars" and the Red Wings in the same night?! Oh, life is so bitter! *slits wrsits* The Ducks beat the Red Wings, 4-3, last night. That means the Ducks won the series, 4-2, and will move on to the Stanley Cup Finals against the Ottawa Senators. It wasn't all that good for the Ducks last night. After 3, they led 3-0. About halfway through, they led 4-1. The Red Wings put up a valiant fight. It's just that J-S Gigurre outplayed the Dominator. Well, at least there's still the Pistons. Still, it is so painful losing two forms of entertainment you love so dearly in a span of an hour and a half.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Diddy "Last Night"

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Cleveland rocks?!

Despite what the theme song from "The Drew Carey Show" may say, Cleveland certainly did not rock last night. The Pistons downed the Cavaliers last night 79-76. Granted, Detroit wasn't exactly Rock City, we still took a 1-0 series lead and held down their top star. LeBron James didn't look like a king last night with just 10 points. What does Cleveland have to do to beat us? quite frankly, I'm still trying to figure that out myself. And I hope not to find the answer.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Good Charlotte "The River"

Monday, May 21, 2007

I love this crystal ball

Alright, Butch. Admit it. I've been on a hot streak as of late. The latest example, Judgment Day. Wins for John Cena, Edge, Bobby Lashley, Ric Flair, and CM Punk have boosted my record to 88-76, a personal best 12 wins over .500. Unfortunantly, I can't everything I want, and Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels reminded me of that. Match of the night was CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke. I'm certainly not going to argue those two got great chemistry together. It will be really fun when one of them is holding the ECW World Championship.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Daughtry "It's Not Over"

This really sucks

The Ducks beat the Red Wings, 2-1, in overtime yesterday. That means the Ducks now lead the series, 3-2. A failed clearing pass by Johan Franzen and a turnover deep in the Wings' zone by Andreas Lilija doomed the Wings to a series defecit. Now, the series shifts from Hockeytown to The Pond, and to be honest, I'm scared to freaking death I could lose one of my favorite teams. But I'm not going to stress too much. This series can change with the flick of a stick, just like yesterday's game.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Ludacris "Runaway Love"

Judgment Day card and picks

WWE Championship
-John Cena (c) vs. The Great Khali.

World Heavyweight Championship Match
-Edge (c) vs. Batista.

ECW Championship - 3 on 1 Handicap Match
-Vince McMahon (c), Shane McMahon & Umaga vs. Bobby Lashley.

WWE United States Championship - 2 out of 3 Falls Match
-Chris Benoit (c) vs. MVP.

-Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton.

-Ric Flair vs. Carlito.

-CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke.

Last time, I went up to 83-74. By the way, the Match of the Night from Backlash was Edge vs. John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels. Anyways, to get back on track, let's keep the winning ways coming. I'll take John Cena, Edge, Bobby Lashley, Chris Benoit, Shawn Michaels, Ric Flair, and CM Punk. Wish me luck.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Pretty Ricky "On The Hotline"

Friday, May 18, 2007

A trip down Memory Lane with our favorite private eye

I'm still steamed beyond belief that The CW had the nerve to cancel "Veronica Mars." It was the only thing about Tuesday that I looked forward (at least until "ECW" and "Dirt" came along, but VMars was still numero uno). As a fan from the first episode up until Tuesday's saddening end, and as a fellow Detroiter to Kristen Bell, I thought I might go back in time and remember my favorite moments from "Veronica Mars."

Busting Aaron as Lilly's murderer
Busting Beaver for the bus crash
Busting Mercer and Moe as the Hearst Rapists
Busting Tim as Dean O'Dell's murderer
All the quotes on IMDb's "Veronica Mars" memorable quotes page http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0412253/quotes
The rooftop scene from the Season 2 finale
Wallace busting Lamb's chops, saying Lamb was a friend of Dorothy's
The Logan and Weevil detention subplot
The unresolved sexual tension between Veronica, Mac, and Parker
Lamb reading the $100 bill
Rebecca asking Keith to come up with an excuse to break up with her so she can bitch to her girfriends about it over margaritas
Kendall appearing naked in almost every episode she was in
Parker's nonchalante habit of going topless with people in the room
"CW?" "It's a done deal."
The chase scene to escape the Hearst Rapist
"I'm going to take him outside, whisper the magic words in his ears, and he'll confess." "Yeah, like that will happen." *moments later* "I stole the tests." "TAH-DAH!"
Logan's kick-ass temper
Troy
Leo
Sacks' moustache
Veronica and Mac's "Dirt on Your Parents" website
I could go on and on if I wanted, but I'm feeling a little tired. Thanks, all.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Lloyd "You"

The 313 Second Movie Review: "Shrek the Third"

Hola, amigos! Welcome back to The 313 Second Movie Review. Damn, I am really putting money into the AMC 20. They might as well give me a membership card or something to go see a movie there, I've seen so many times this year. Well on to the review. Today's movie is "Shrek the Third." The film stars Mike Myers as Shrek, Cameron Diaz as Princess Fiona, Eddie Murphy as Donkey, Antonio Banderas as Puss In Boots, Julie Andrews as Queen Lillian, John Cleese as King Harold, Larry King as Doris, Rupert Everett as Prince Charming, Justin Timberlake as Artie, Regis Philbin as Mabel, and Eric Idle as Merlin. Well, I take it I don't need to describe the previous "Shrek" movies, so let's skip the rewind and for the plot. Shrek and Fiona are taking over the kingdom of Far, Far Away in place of her parents, as King Harold (still a frog from the previous movie) is sick. Sure enough, news breaks that Harold is on his death lilly (that's something I thought I'd never say) and wants Shrek to take the throne. Our favorite comedic ogre wants no part of it, and is recommended by Harold to get Fiona's half-brother, who's next in order of seccession behind Shrek. Well, Shrek wants that to go down so he and Fiona can return to the swamp together. Problem: Fiona has yet to alert Shrek that he's about to be a daddy. Insert your own joke about Eddie Murphy's baby mama drama with Scary Spice here. So the ever-so-funny trio of Shrek, Donkey, and Puss make treks to search for Artie, as he's known as in the movie. Instead of the strapping young lad they expected, they get a whiny, little he-bitch who can't even hold his own ground against his geekier peers. Leave to Shrek to show Artie the way, as he tries to get Artie ready to take over Far, Far Away. Meanwhile, things aren't exactly rosy in the kingdom. Prince Charming is back in the picture and recruits Captain Hook, Cyclops, and other villians of fairy tales, legends, and nursey rhymes to stage a coup d'etat. This forces Fiona to be accompanied during this overthrow by more well-known princesses, such as Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, and Rapunzel, to aid her. If this film is guilty of anything at all, it could have done a few more jabs at cinema, but it do nicely, mocking "Rosemary's Baby" and "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs." But just like the previous "Shrek" movies, all fairy tales, legends, and nursery rhymes are fair game. Most importantly however is that this series still has a lot of heart to it and continues to touch you. Wonderfully done, if I say so myself.

And there is more good news. This comes from the far away kingdom of Sequalland. Dreamworks Animation has given the green light to a fourth installment. So keep a look out for "Shrek 4" to be released in 2010.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Mims "This Is Why I'm Hot"

Thursday, May 17, 2007

God, must You always mock me?

The Red Wings lost to the Ducks, 5-3, tonight. That means the series is shifting from The Pond to Hockeytown knotted up at 2 apiece. I just don't get it. The Red Wings were down, 3-1. They come back and tie the game at three. All of a sudden, Jean-Sebastian Giguerre starts playing hockey again, the Ducks' power play comes to life, and all of a sudden, the series becomes a toss up. *sigh* Hopefully, I'll get better news after come back from Far, Far Away tomorrow. *hint, hint*

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Hellogoodbye "Here (In Your Arms)"

Adios, Chi-Town!

Finally! After so much heartbreak today ("Veronica Mars" being shipped to Permenant Hiatusville and Bob Barker running for president of the International Union of Porch Sitters), there's one departure I'm glad to see. The Pistons knocked off the Bulls tonight, 95-85. That means the Pistons win the series, 4-2, as they shift from The UC back to Auburn Hills to prepare for the winner of the Cavaliers-Nets series. Tonight was what the Pistons needed to bring to the table. The threat of Game 7 looming larger after trailing at halftime, they come out and smother the Baby Bulls to finish the job. Should I celebrate? Hell yes! Butch, you're a hell of a DJ from what I hear, but take a listen to this. This is from Channel 955 (WKQI-FM 95.5 in Detroit). It's called "Deeetroit Basketball" by DJ Jewels featuring Young Truth. In case the tune sounds familiar, no crap it should. A little rehashing of "Say It Right" by the ever-so-delicious Nelly Furtado and you got this dedication to the Bad Boys of '07. http://a1135.g.akamai.net/f/1135/30256/1h/cchannel.download.akamai.com/30256/1843/richmedia/PISTONPLAYOFFTHEME.MP3
Enjoy gang. Now bring on LeBron or J-Kidd.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Korn "Freak On A Leash (Live)"

SON OF A BITCH!

"Veronica Mars" got canned! I'm going to say it up front, right now. The CW sucks dead donkey balls! They took away one of the best shows on TV and replaced with some crap show about a guy who has his soul sold to the devil by his parents and he gets stuck fugitive souls?! Dawn Ostroff, congratulations, bitch! You've made the "313 Dead to Me" list. And you're staying there. People, watch "Gossip Girl" since it has our good friend Kristen Bell, but avoid watching anything else on The CW in protest, especially the "Veronica Mars" replacement "Reaper." Every ounce of hope I had for this network just got drained away because they want to air nothing but pure crap!

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Mika "Grace Kelly"

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Very good

So SoCal isn't that into hockey, eh? After last night's game, I don't blame you guys. Red Wings 5, Ducks 0. First and foremost, sucks if you're a Ducks fan at the moment. They just couldn't do anything right last night. The Wings simply outplayed them in all categories. Offense, defense, goaltending, special teams. The Red Wings swept all those categories. Are those really the same Ducks from Games 1 and 2?

By the way, tomorrow, expect to be very happy with or very angry at The CW, as I will report as soon as I find out the questionable fate of "Veronica Mars." *crosses fingers for good luck*

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Silversun Pickups "Lazy Eye"

Not good

The Pistons fell apart again last night. Bulls 108, Pistons 96. That's not something I was expecting to say. The series was 3-0, Pistons. Now, it's 3-2, Pistons, with the chance of a Game 7 looming very largely. If the Bulls keep nailing shots like last night, that 0-81 figure about teams down 3-0 in a best-of-seven series could become 1-81. As the series shifts from Auburn Hills to The UC, I can only hope the Pistons are able to finish the Bulls before something horrible happens.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Gwen Stefani "The Sweet Escape"

Monday, May 14, 2007

FRAK!

The good news: Chrysler's an American company again! Thank you, Cerberus Capital Management! And so long, Dr. Z's moustache! The bad news: The Red Wings lost 4-3 in overtime to the Ducks thanks to the Niedermeyer brothers. That means the series is tied 1-1. Well, at least it's not 2-0 Anaheim. Time for the series to shift from Hockeytown to The Pond. But seriously, anybody in SoCal follow the NHL? I didn't think so.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Robin Thicke "Lost Without U"

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Well, there's still roast Duck available for tonight

Bulls 102, Pistons 87. I can put the broom away, but I'm not worried. The Pistons lead the series, 3-1, and now it shifts back from The UC to Auburn Hills. Why not shut down the Bulls on our home court. By the way, I can't provide much insight in that game becuase I was busy with my parents in the garden, setting trees and whatnot. Oh, and happy Mother's Day to all the bloggers' mothers (even yours, Jen, I'm just not that type of guy to single people out).

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Akon "I Wanna Love You"

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Shhh. Listen.

You hear that? Exactly. It's pure silence. That's because the Ducks are being crushed by my beloved Al the Octopus. The Red Wings defeated the Ducks, 2-1, last night to take a 1-0 series lead. The Wings were 2-for-4 on the power play, compared to the Ducks 0-for-7. The Ducks might want to work on their special teams if they expect to have a chance. By the way, on Sunday, I'll be serving Duck a l'Orange and Chicago beefsteaks.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Lily Allen "Smile (Domestic)"

Friday, May 11, 2007

And now for a little bet...

Hamster, if you're reading this, I have a message for you. I'll give you a deal you can't refuse. If your Ducks go to the Stanley Cup Finals, I'll put in a second TSSA story. But, if my Red Wings win, then I'm free from the original TSSA story. What do you say, Hammy? Deal or no deal?

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: 30 Seconds To Mars "From Yesterday"

The 313 Second Movie Review: "28 Weeks Later"

Welcome back to The 313 Second Movie Review. I'm Tom Barry (got that, Butch?). Last week, I kicked off a long period of summer movie reviews over many consecutive weeks. Let's keep this going. You might have heard me talk about how much gore was in "Zodiac," "300," and "Grindhouse." Well those movies got nothing on this one. This week, I bring you the British/Spanish film, "28 Weeks Later." The film stars Robert Carlyle as Don, Rose Byrne as Scarlet, Jeremy Renner as Doyle, Harold Perrineau, Jr. as Flynn, Catherine McCormack as Alice, Idris Elba as Stone, Imogen Poots as Tammy, and Mackintosh Muggleton as Andy. I'm assuming a lot of you haven't seen this film's predacessor, "28 Days Later," so I'll hit rewind and fill you in. A group of animal rights activists broke into a testing center at Cambridge University to free chimpanzees. They found out too late the chimps were injected with a virus known as rage, a contagious disease spread through blood and saliva that turns the victim into a living (not undead) zombie. The disease spread quickly throughout the United Kingdom, wiping out most of the population. The hero of the movie, Jim, wakes up four weeks later from a long coma to discover London has been turned into a ghost town. As Jim finds survivors, they go on a perilous trek to safety from the zombies, who, when in a group, are called the Infected. Fast forward. It's seven months after the rage virus broke out. Sorry, guys, but Jim is not in this film, even though he survived in the first (guess Cillian Murphy got tired of terrorizing zombies and wanted to terrorize Katie Holmes and Rachel McAdams instead). Start with the prologue. An elderly family, a married couple (Don and Alice), and a few other people are hiding out in a country cottage to avoid the Infected. They rescue a little boy, who tells of his harrowing encounter with the Infected. Soon after, the Infected start causing havoc in the cottage, killing almost everyone. Only Don and Alice survive the attack, but Don took the coward's way out and left Alice to die. Over to London (what's up, Victor Field). An American military unit has taken the United Kingdom and declared it safe for return. I know what you're thinking, so don't say it. The first batch of survivors from a refugee camp in Spain fly into Heathrow, and as they do, our heroine, Scarlett, is alarmed that minors are being let back in already. The two children she does notice are teenage Tammy and 12-year-old Andy, who are met at the train station by their father, Don. Don lets Tammy and Andy know that their mother didn't survive the attack from the Infected. Well, that's certainly going to bite (no pun intended) everyone in the ass. The American soldiers discover that there is a carrier of the rage virus who is not one of the Infected in London. Their efforts at quarentine fail, and the virus is back on the loose. Scarlett resuces both Tammy and Andy, as they may have something vital at stopping the rage virus. Meanwhile, as the streets become chaotic, the soldiers can't tell who's running for their lives, and who's with the Infected. General Stone then demands that the soldiers kill all, a scene that should become very controversial here following the massacre at Virginia Tech. One shooter, Doyle, and his helicopter-flying friend, Flynn, decide not take innocent lives and group up with Scarlett, Tammy, Andy, and other survivors of the carnage as they all plan on getting out of the country to avoid both the American soldiers and the Infected. As with every other zombie movie, this one sends a message. It may not be the swipe at commercialism demonstrated in both the original and remake of "Dawn of the Dead," but the message is loud and clear while pertaining to current events. While "28 Days Later" may have had more of a dramitic build to it, "28 Weeks Later" drops the drama and switches it up with sheer terror. Don't kid me wrong, I liked "28 Days Later," but "28 Weeks Later" had me jumping in my seat a few times. Oh, on a sidenote, Catherine McCormack, call me. When we're done with the fun stuff, I'll let you shower, dress, and eat breakfast at my place. The only people I won't recoomend this film to is those with weak hearts, stomachs, or bowal systems. Otherwise, give this movie a look. These Brits knew exactly what they were doing here.

By the way, there is good news from the sequal front. Danny Boyle, the director of "28 Days Later" and a coproducer for "28 Weeks Later," told an Irish radio station that Fox Atomic has given him the green light for a third installment. What will it be called? What else? "28 Months Later." Keep your eyes peeled for that one in the future. Now if you excuse me, I need a break from horror films for a while.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Fall Out Boy "This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race"

Thursday, May 10, 2007

D-Von, get the brooms!

The bad news, the Pistons scored 28 first-half points and the Bulls finally showed up. The good news, suddenly, the Bulls diappeared again, scoring 27 second-half points with only 9 field goals in that time. Pistons 81, Bulls 74. That puts the Pistons in a commanding 3-0 lead. And remember, the Bulls aren't the 2004 Boston Red Sox. No NBA team has climbed out of a 3-0 hole to win a series. I'm sure someone took it to Game 7, but they've never completed the comeback. God only knows how many of those teams wound up getting swept. Hopefully, the Pistons will send the Bulls onto the golf course after Game 4.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Rich Boy "Throw Some D's"

Just one last message

God, it's so tough to do what I did today. I had to drop Zoe off at the vet because she's been scratching up the wooden kitchen floor when she runs. Translation, she's losing her back claws (front claws are out already). But when I left, she was in her kennel cage, rolling around, purring, trying to look cute, begging me to come back. She did the exact same thing when she was adopted. I told I'd be there to pick up Saturday afternoon, and stroked her, before I left. As I left, I tried not to look, but I couldn't resist. There was Zoe, looking right at me, telling me to take her home with her. I'm sorry, baby. But like I said, I'll pick you up Saturday afternoon.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Nas "Hip Hop Is Dead"

Improv at its funniest

Anybody who knows me knows I am hopelessly addicted to "Whose Line is it Anyway?" And can you blame me? Between Wayne Brady's singing, Colin Mochrie's randomness, Ryan Stiles' impressions (his Carol Channing one is downright hysterical), and Drew Carey's jokes, it's a damn good show. Of course, with improv, you need to be quick on your feet. Hence this video. For the Irish Drinking Songs, Colin couldn't think up a line quickly enough and wound up embarassing himself pretty badly on national TV. Which is odd, since Colin always goes last on the Irish Drinking Song and comes up with some random, albeit funny, moments. But check this out. You'll be rolling on the floor. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXcAUgKlnbs

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Ciara "Promise"

Jaws just got harpooned

San Jose Sharks, hasta luegos! Red Wings 2, Sharks 0. Translation: The Wings won the series, 4-2, and will face off with the Anaheim Ducks for the Western Conference Championship and the right to play for the Stanley Cup. The Ducks won't be a push-over, but trust me, Kris Draper and Henrik Zetterberg will be two forces to be reckoned with on the wings (the position, not the team) in this series. Wings in six, yet again.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Danity Kane "Ride For You"

Monday, May 07, 2007

Are the Bulls going to show up?

I mean, should the Pistons really be concerned about them? These are the same Bulls that swept the defending champion Miami Heat? It just can't be. The Pistons won tonight, 108-87. It is getting bloodier than a bull ring. Now, I know I shouldn't get cocky. The series is moving from Auburn Hills to The UC. However, if the Bulls can't find a way to pull their heads out of their asses (which, if you're with the Chicago Bulls, is next to impossible), they'll be meeting the same fate that befell the Orlando Magic. A clean sweep.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Evanescence "Lithium"

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Chicago beef. It's what's for dinner.

The Pistons beat the living snot out of the Bulls tonight. Which makes me really happy, because I H-A-T-E the Chicago Bulls. The fact the score was 95-69 made life much more fun. The Bulls only shot 33%, and Richard Hamilton and Chauncey Billups scored 20 apiece. This just in: WE DON'T NEED BEN WALLACE!

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Meg & Dia "Monster"

Shark elimination countdown at two days

Red Wings 4, Sharks 1. You know what this calls for? *plays "The Final Countdown" by Europe* Sure the Sharks took a 1-0 lead five minutes in, but when the second period started, it was all Red Wings. And thank you Evangi Nabakov and your brain fart. Never, ever, play the puck when Pavel Datsyuk is coming right at you. He's too fast to be stopped. Now, the series goes from Hockeytown back to The Shark Tank for Game 6. This will be nothing short of a great opportunity to knock the Sharks out of the playoffs.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Gym Class Heroes "Cupid's Chokehold"

Ole, ole, ole, ole!

Happy Cinco de Mayo everybody. Have lots of fun today. Whether or not you'll be downing Coronas, make sure to stay safe today. Also, let's keep in mind that this not, I repeat NOT, the Mexican equivalent of the Fourth of July. That would be the 16th of September. Rather, this day celebrates the Mexican forces led by General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguin defeating the occupying French forces at the Battle of Puebla on this day in 1862. Of course, EVERYBODY has beaten the French at least once, so it's not worth too much celebrating. Sorry Mexico, didn't mean to offend you, I'm just taking shots at le Francis. Anyways, there's a lot of sports on today. Oscar De La Hoya vs. Floyd Mayweather, the Kentucky Derby, the NASCAR Jim Stewart 400, Game 1 between the Bulls and Pistons, and Game 7 between the Rockets and Jazz. So I don't want to hear anybody complaining that's there's nothing good on TV today, comprende?

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: The Fray "How To Save A Life"

Friday, May 04, 2007

The 313 Second Movie Review: "Spider-Man 3"

Look who's slinging back into action. It's your friendly neighborhood Republican! Welcome back to The 313 Second Movie Review. Boy, I have I been excited to review this! Here it is everybody, the movie event of the year, "Spider-Man 3." The film stars Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker/Spider-Man, Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane Watson, James Franco as New Goblin/Harry Osborn, Thomas Haden Church as Sandman/Flint Marko, and Topher Grace as Venom/Eddie Brock. I trust I don't need to tell you what happened with the previous "Spider-Man" movies, so let's cut to the chase. Given the hype surrounding this movie, I'll let a few things about the plot go. The movie starts off with Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson, enjoying life together. It seems as though he's going to propse to MJ, but Peter finds himself conflicted by the lovely Gwen Stacy. On top of that, Peter finds his ego growing, both him and Spider-Man doing things you can't expect from them. Of course, when intergalactic space sludge takes your body over, your cockiness will increase tenfold, too. On top of that, villians galore raid the screen. Harry Osborn finally listens to his father in hallucinations and emerges as the New Goblin. Then there's Flint Marko, a career criminal who escaped Rikers for his role in the murder of Uncle Ben Parker. Running from the law, he winds up in a particle-seperation expirament and turns into the dangerous and evasive Sandman, who's body can shift his shape into a pile of sand or turn his body into a dangerous sand-made weapon. Bar none the most evil of the villians is Eddie Brock, Jr. As he loses everything, from a photography job to Gwen, to Peter, his jealousness of Peter grows. As Peter sees the change in personality affecting everybody he loves, including MJ and Aunt May, he rips off the sludge suit that has been affecting his decisions, only for it drop on top of Brock, turning him into the murderous Venom. Many people may complain about the many plotlines, but this movie further increases my love of the genius that is Sam Raimi. He keeps the plots simple enough to follow, and not too complex that it would confuse the viewer. Geez, some people have the attention span of a Chihuahua on Ecstacy. He kept it funny at the right moments. Enjoy the French restaurant maitre d'. Awesomely funny. The SFX are so mesmerizing, you could swear they're real. The fight scenes are amazing, with the one with Peter and Harry fighting as their mortal selfs just barely being paled to the final showdown with Spider-Man, Mary Jane, Goblin, Sandman, and Venom. Maguire, Dunst, and Franco mesh so well together, they prove that they are very used to each other on-screen and off. In the end, the most important part of the movie is the emotion. It is so raw, that you cannot help but make a connection to the characters. You even feel the good within Goblin and Sandman. You just want the characters to do the right thing and hope they all accomplish their goals. I wouldn't be surprised this movie makes almost half of its $285 million budget this weekend. Listen to me. Give in to peer pressure. Go see this movie. You'll enjoy it.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Jim Jones "We Fly High"

Ceeeeelebrate good times, come on!

My finals are finally done! Been a great year at Schoolcraft, but now I have to focus on more important things. Next year, I'll be living oncampus at Oakland University in the beautiful city of Rochester, Michigan. So long Ocelots, hello Golden Grizzlies.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Plain White T's "Hate (I Really Don't Like You)"

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Roo-ray!

The Red Wings have snuffed out any hopes of the Sharks taking a 3-1 lead. Last night, the Red Wings picked up a 3-2 win in overtime. Mathieu Schneider won it with a vicious slap shot. That means the series will be heading from The Shark Tank to Hockeytown tied 2-2. If the Red Wings win on saturday, then I'll be hoping the Shrks won't be back here for Game 7.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: AFI "Love Like Water"

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Ruh-roh!

The Sharks won Monday night, 2-1. That also means the Sharks leads the Red Wings, 2-1. If there is any sort of justice in the world, then the Red Wings will tie this series up before it goes back to Detroit for Game 5. That, and the CW has a heart and renews "Veronica Mars," but that's a different topic for a different day.

By the way, happy birthday to my baby sister yesterday. Congraulations on turning 18, Kristen. You know get to buy your own cigarettes and porn. OK, so she doesn't do that, but that was a running joke yesterday in our family. And keep your greasy meathooks off of her, guys.

My time's up, you've been great. For the road: Beyonce "Listen"